Chapter 28: Too ashamed to go back

It had been a long time since I could relax like this.

I sat on the long sofa, my body sinking into the plush velvet cushions.

I listened to the gurgling of the electric kettle on the glass table beside me, the scent of roasted barley drifting into my nose.

Senior Sister Xu hadn’t arrived yet, so I decided to take this time to truly unwind.

*Thump!*

Through the glass tabletop, I saw Xiao Ji stomp hard on the floor.

With a *clatter*, he tossed his controller onto the table.

“K.O.! THE WINNER IS — “

The screen of the massive wall-mounted television flashed with alternating red and white light.

Xiao Ji’s character had been defeated again.

“Mom… I mean, damn! This hardest difficulty is total cheating!”

Xiao Ji leaned back, sprawling out.

“You’re much easier to deal with. Want to play a couple of rounds? It’s been a while.”

“Forget it. You should just lower the difficulty.”

I wasn’t in the mood for games right now, and I rarely played them anyway.

“Xiao Ji, Mom isn’t home. If you really want to call for her, take advantage of the weekend and go visit He Mountain Village.”

Xiao Qingling glared at Xiao Ji.

She stood up from a smaller sofa on the other side and picked up the kettle to pour barley tea into my paper cup.

“Thank you, Sister…”

“Mhm.”

As she leaned over, the two low ponytails tied at the back of her head slid down over her slender waist.

As they swayed before my eyes, they brought a fresh scent of tea with them.

“Sister, pour me a cup too! It’s better if you blow on it to cool it down,” Xiao Ji said, raising his hand.

“You have hands. Two of them, in fact.”

“That’s not fair. Li Mingshan has hands too. Why didn’t you make him pour it himself?”

I had met her a while after becoming friends with Xiao Ji.

She was one grade ahead of us.

Thanks to Xiao Ji saying so many bad things about her, I had originally thought she was a very difficult person to get along with.

“Li Mingshan is different from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

It wasn’t until the siblings made up that I met her for the first time.

I discovered that she… was indeed a bit difficult to get along with.

She would only respond to my words with polite, formal courtesy.

“Exactly what it sounds like. This morning, you left your clothes scattered at the bathroom door again. You’re a grown man.”

“You’re the one who said to keep mine separate from yours! You even told me to stay far away from your clothes!”

“They’re dirty and smell like sweat.”

One time, while chatting with Xiao Ji about family matters, she overheard about my background.

She became like a completely different person.

Since then, she would patiently sit on the nearby sofa like she was doing today, reading a book while listening to our conversation.

On one occasion —

‘I think having a bad younger brother isn’t a good thing. If you’d like, you can call me Sister. That way, I’ll treat you as the good younger brother I never had to make up for that regret. Li Mingshan, come over to play more often in the future.’

She had said those words to me while Xiao Ji was in the restroom.

It melted the “cold and aloof” impression I had of her.

Ever since then, I would call her Sister, as if I truly had one more relative in this city.

Though, most of the time, she still only gave brief responses.

Perhaps she just wasn’t much of a talker.

“Yes, yes. I’m so sorry for defiling your pure, fragrant white clothes.”

“As long as you know.”

“Oh, wait, what day was it… I overheard you complaining in the bathroom, saying ‘wearing black makes me look like a bamboo pole, but white clothes can at least show a bit of a figure.’ If you’re born flat, just use padding. What’s there to be embarrassed about!”

“Xiao Ji, you’re asking for a beating!”

Having finished pouring the tea, her face—so thin that dimples appeared—left my field of vision.

Her tall, slender frame, only slightly shorter than Xiao Ji’s, straightened up.

Wrapped in a white sweater, she looked like those “branch snowmen” commonly seen here on snowy days.

They were skinny snowmen made from several branches and the meager amount of snow Sucheng received, appearing somewhat strange.

But on her, the look was just very slim.

The slightly bulky, light-colored clothing actually highlighted the lines of her figure, giving her the aura of a cold, elegant older sister.

“Wait!! Don’t turn off the console! I was wrong, Sister! *Waaaah* — I finally made it to the final boss!”

“It’s time for the news.”

As I immersed myself in this long-lost, reassuring environment and my brain grew hazy, the siblings seemed to have already gone several rounds of bickering.

They were at odds as usual, fighting whenever they were together.

I was used to it.

“Reportedly, the red maples along the He Mountain line have begun to fall today…”

On the news screen, the familiar mountain scenery of my hometown came into view.

The season for the red maples to fall had arrived in my hometown, a bit later than usual.

Shortly after I left home, the area adjacent to He Mountain was converted into the He Mountain Scenic Area.

I didn’t know if my hometown, He Mountain Village, had become prosperous due to the arrival of tourists.

However, the scenic area was still a considerable distance from the village.

Taking this opportunity, I pulled out my phone.

“Sister, just like before, I have a favor to ask of you.”

I bowed my head toward Xiao Qingling.

“Lift your head.”

She stood up and sat down beside me, reminding me not to be so formal.

“It’s been almost half a year. I thought you wouldn’t come to me for help anymore.”

“Because… things haven’t been going well. I’ve been worried about my mother for the last six months. I even thought about borrowing money to give to her…”

“You cannot take out loans. Absolutely not.”

Her slender index finger pressed against my lips, stopping me from continuing.

“It’s not a loan this time. I’ll explain where the money came from when Senior Sister Xu arrives. I’ll transfer it to you first. Please ask your mother to withdraw it as cash and give it to my mother in person. Thank you. I’ll thank her in person when she returns.”

‘An Zhi, thank you too.’

As I spoke, I transferred 10,000 to Xiao Qingling.

She looked at the numbers on the screen, fell into a brief moment of thought, and then spoke.

“I’ll tell my mother. Just like before.”

“Brother Li, why don’t you go back yourself? Wouldn’t she be happier if you gave it to her in person?”

Xiao Ji said at an inopportune moment.

My hometown… a place filled with my painful memories, but also where my dearest relative lived.

Did I not want to go back?

How could I not want to!?

As the only University Student in the entire village, carrying the hopes of everyone, I had left home under my mother’s expectant gaze.

At that time, a bright future felt like it was within arm’s reach.

“Xiao Ji, talk less. Look at you; you wouldn’t even dare to see your own mother like this.”

“True! Hehe.”

It was only after truly coming to the city that I realized things weren’t like that at all.

During my university days, when I was studying and working part-time, things were fine.

But after graduating and losing my job due to the pandemic, I actually needed my girlfriend’s assistance just to afford rent.

A person like me couldn’t live up to my mother’s expectations.

Every time I remembered her seeing me off, saying, “Work hard, endure hardships, and achieve great things. Don’t be like your mother, and don’t be playful like your father,” and that expectant look in her eyes, I found myself unable to set foot on the road back.

The first time I brought money to her from my job, I thought I would give her even more once my salary increased.

Once I started giving her money, I couldn’t stop, even after losing my job.

I could only “slap my own face until it was swollen to look fat,” squeezing out a meager income from part-time gigs every month and asking Xiao Qingling to take it to her.

From the month I failed to get assistance from An Zhi, I could barely take care of myself.

Until today, it had been over six months since I had given anything.

Because of that, I felt even more ashamed to return.

Xiao Qingling seemed to understand my feelings.

She never made any judgments and simply helped me in silence.

“Is your mother still a volunteer teacher at He Mountain Primary School?”

I asked.

“Mhm. She’s the head of the grade level now, but she still insists on teaching classes personally.”

Xiao Ji’s parents both worked for the Sucheng Education Bureau.

Mrs. Xiao had been sent to He Mountain Primary School in He Mountain Village to teach two years ago.

She was a very disciplined person who took her work seriously.

When she occasionally returned in the past, I had a few opportunities to thank her in person.

Like Xiao Qingling, she would only smile and offer no comment.

This meant my mother was still living well on her own.

I wondered when she would be back next.

At that time, Xiao Ji would surely be as miserable as if he were in prison and come to me for help.

When that time came, I would ask about my mother’s situation again.

It had been so long; how was she doing?

“Meow~”

Just then, a tabby orange cat that had been timidly hiding in Xiao Qingling’s bedroom poked its head out.

It seemed it had only just recognized me.

“Hu Mi?”

I called out softly, and it ran over to rub against my pant leg.

“That name still sounds weird! It’s so dazed; wouldn’t ‘Muddled’ be a better name?”

Xiao Ji shook his head.

“You can’t say it’s muddled. Hu Mi sounds more artistic. Look, doesn’t it look like a little tiger? ‘Mi’ also makes it sound more down-to-earth.”

I corrected him out of habit.

I had come up with the name, so I had to defend my creativity.

“I agree.”

Xiao Qingling also walked over and stroked Hu Mi’s head.

With the cat’s arrival, those heavy topics finally passed.

*Ding-dong!*

The doorbell rang suddenly.