‘When did it begin?’
When she thought back, it had started then.
It was the day the entire Holy Kingdom of Hibernia was in an uproar.
The day the goddess Liphyue, who had not spoken for a long time, manifested herself directly.
The day the Sanctuary overflowed with holy light, and all the priests spent the night in tears of overwhelming emotion.
The day Hio Pavlenko was revered as a new Apostle.
Ever since that day, Rie’s existence had begun to fade.
The touch and gaze she had always felt gradually started to disappear.
At first, it was doubt.
It was the doubt that such a thing could not possibly happen.
To think that the existence of a god was fading.
It seemed more plausible that she had simply misperceived it.
However, it was only after a significant amount of time had passed that her doubt turned into certainty.
By then, she could not confess the truth to anyone.
She could not even begin to grasp the massive weight of what that truth implied.
With the continent being dyed in darkness and heroes dying, for even a god to not exist…
‘Had they abandoned humanity, this continent, altogether?’
The truth that only she knew, and the horrific reality, left her suffocating.
‘What should I do?’
‘What must be done so that everyone can hold onto hope and survive?’
No matter how much she thought about it, no answer came.
The only thing she could do was continue to burn her divinity even more fervently, just as she always had.
But as the saying goes, misfortunes never come alone. It was a situation where a tiger blocked the front and a wolf lurked behind.
Her body, unable to handle the massive amount of divinity, began to collapse.
She had to watch her own body break and regenerate every single day.
She had to endure all of it alone.
She did not want to spread her own misfortune to the entire continent just to find comfort.
‘How hard had it been?’
Yet she could not even show a hint of it.
Because she was the Holy Maiden.
She was not the girl from the streets who worried about her next meal anymore; she was the Holy Maiden of Hibernia.
She was the person the entire continent looked toward with hope.
Even as she watched her body break every day, she had to remain unafraid.
Even while knowing the truth that the god had already abandoned humanity, she had to offer prayers alongside the priests.
Even while knowing it was meaningless, she poured desperate sincerity into those prayers.
She prayed every day with all her heart.
‘Please, let me live.’
‘I don’t want to die.’
How terrifying each day had been.
How frightening the nights were, just before she fell asleep.
‘What if I never wake up again?’
‘What if I never open my eyes again after falling asleep?’
***
Even after barely falling asleep and managing to greet the early morning, what greeted her was not relief, but an even greater sense of anxiety.
‘When will I die?’
‘Will I suddenly die in a place where everyone is gathered?’
No matter how much she dressed like a Holy Maiden.
No matter how much she smiled like a Holy Maiden.
No matter how much she carried herself like a Holy Maiden, Irina was still Irina.
She was not some grand Holy Maiden that everyone looked up to; she was just Irina.
She was an ordinary girl who had just turned 17.
She had no great courage or resolute convictions.
She simply had one small dream.
To love like others, to get married.
To give birth to a child who looked just like her and tell them stories of the past.
If she had a dream, it was simply to live like that until her time came.
She also felt a sense of unfairness.
‘Did I become the Holy Maiden because I wanted to?’
‘Why was she, who had lived on the streets without even knowing who her parents were, the Holy Maiden?’
Of all people, why her?
So, when Claire came to find her, a sliver of expectation had blossomed deep within her heart.
‘Could I perhaps live?’
‘What if I go with her, pretending to be persuaded?’
‘If it’s the Empire, maybe there’s some way…’
“I… cannot go.”
But in the end, she could not do it.
‘What was the reason?’
Despite wanting to live so badly, why was she able to speak so calmly in front of Claire?
“If I die with Hibernia, at least the absence of the god will remain a secret forever.”
She had become the Holy Maiden almost by accident, as if swept away by a tide, but when she thought about it, it wasn’t all bad.
‘Studying the doctrines of hope was fun, and she had met many good people, hadn’t she?’
Even though she disliked having to eat only vegetables all day, she truly loved the peaceful days spent at the Cathedral.
“Those who remain will pray to a god who does not exist and find hope.”
She realized it as she spoke.
The answer was very simple.
“Even if it’s actually a non-existent hope, the moment you believe in it, it becomes real hope.”
Because she was the Holy Maiden.
Even if she was actually a girl of no consequence, there were people who believed in her as a Holy Maiden and looked toward her with genuine expectation and admiration.
“Therefore, there is no such thing as false hope in this world.”
Everything was so clumsy.
The pure white priestly robes.
Her own hair that flowed softly.
Every single step, her way of speaking, her actions, and even the smiles she wore—everything was awkward and lacking.
She felt ashamed and sorry.
She thought it was a tragedy that a girl like her had become the Holy Maiden and was making everyone suffer.
Because it was her first time.
Perhaps even the god was clumsy and awkward at first.
‘Yet hadn’t people believed and waited?’
‘Hadn’t they smiled, saying that everyone is like that in the beginning?’
Perhaps she had ended up like this because she was so grateful for every one of those smiles.
“Concentrate your divinity! Match Lady Irina’s flow!”
A landscape similar to a living hell unfolded, as Strange Entities and wicked energy swarmed in.
Beings so dangerous that the Empire had effectively given up on Hibernia were approaching.
The containment line was breached in an instant, and the ramparts crumbled.
To counter this, she unfolded a Divine Blessing along with the High Priests.
“Activate the Divine Tree to its maximum!”
The moment she expanded her divinity to its limit, she could feel it.
If she used her divinity until it was completely drained, her body would no longer regenerate.
Her body, which had already been broken more than 100 times, would now completely fail.
The end would eventually be death.
“Tell them that as long as Lady Irina is here, we can hold out for a few more hours! We must stop them somehow within that time!”
Despite knowing this, she pulled her divinity even more forcefully.
Thinking back, she still had no great courage or convictions.
She just hoped the people around her would not die.
Even if she wasn’t the Holy Maiden, that alone was enough reason for Irina to die.
“Hold on! Do not forget that we are the light of hope!”
Even the voice of Cardinal Herald, which was always gentle, was now urgent, showing how dire the situation was.
In any other circumstance, Irina would have raised her voice alongside him to encourage the other priests, but this time, she couldn’t.
“Lady Liphyue is with us!”
Her vision blurred and then immediately turned white.
‘Did my eyes break?’
She could not see, as if her destroyed pupils were not regenerating.
Still, she did not stop drawing out her divinity.
“… Rina… what…!”
It seemed something was wrong with her ears now as well.
All sounds felt distant, as if someone were shouting from far away, and she had completely lost her sense of direction.
Intermittently, she heard sounds that could have been cheers or screams of horror, but even those were completely cut off before long.
She was left alone in a world where nothing could be seen or heard.
Still, she continued to draw out her divinity.
A short while later, her sense of touch disappeared too.
She couldn’t feel anything—whether her body was broken or if she had collapsed.
Still, she continued to draw out her divinity.
Soon, all her senses were severed.
She could not feel the beating of her heart, nor did she know if she was even breathing.
She didn’t know if her divinity was all dried up or if some still remained.
She couldn’t even tell if she was still alive.
Still, she continued to draw out her divinity.
It might be futile.
She might have died long ago, or it might just be a delusion she was having alone because her divinity had run dry.
In fact, that was more likely.
Yet she did not stop pouring out her divinity.
One in 1,000, one in 10,000.
‘If she were still alive, wouldn’t it be of help?’
‘Wouldn’t she be able to save at least someone else?’
Even the concept of time became tangled, making it impossible to tell how much had passed.
She didn’t know if a few hours, a few days, or a few years had gone by, but she continued to pour out her divinity.
She only had the thought that she had to.
That thought filled her mind so completely that for an eternity—which could have been years, decades, or even 100s of years—she only thought about pouring out her divinity.
‘How much time had passed in that state?’
‘How long had it been since she had struggled alone in a pure white world where nothing could be seen, heard, or felt?’
Characters with unknown meanings appeared before her eyes.
[THE ‘GOD OF PATIENCE AND MAGIC’ WISHES TO DESIGNATE YOU AS AN APOSTLE.]
[DO YOU ACCEPT?]
‘It’s strange.’
She was clearly blind and shouldn’t be able to see anything, so how could she see these characters?
The thought flashed through her mind, but she ignored it immediately.
‘I have to pour out divinity.’
‘If I don’t, others will die.’
She had no time for other thoughts.
However, new characters appeared once more.
[THE SUBJECT IS NOT IN A STATE TO EXERCISE JUDGMENT OR EXPRESS WILL.]
The meaning of the characters began to be understood.
[THE POSITION OF APOSTLE IS BEING FORCIBLY GRANTED.]
Light poured in.
Not a meaningless white, but a brilliantly shining, pure white light.
Her forgotten senses and tangled time returned.
[YOU HAVE BEEN APPOINTED AS THE SECOND APOSTLE OF THE GOD OF PATIENCE AND MAGIC — ‘HIO PAVLENKO’.]
Along with the cluster of pure white light, the thing she felt most was…
“… Apostle Irina.”
A massive presence.
The image of a new god smiling somewhat awkwardly.
Hio, who arrived at the capital of Hibernia, swallowed his rising anxiety and headed straight for the Cathedral.
The city was quiet.
There were various noises, but the vibrations themselves were calm and still, as if they had sunk deep underwater.
He moved quickly and arrived at one of the deepest parts of the Cathedral.
A small bedroom prepared there.
All the High Priests of Hibernia were gathered there, kneeling around a single bed.
They were offering prayers in tears.
Hio hesitated for a moment at the sight before slowly entering the room.
What he saw was the figure of a person lying on the bed.
A woman in a horrific state, so ghastly it was doubtful she was even alive.
Her skin was so emaciated that it was no different from bone, her two eyes were gouged out, and all ten of her fingers were broken.
At that wretched sight, no one opened their mouth, and no one could properly lift their head.
Yet as he moved forward step by step, he heard a very small voice.
A tiny voice that repeated constantly, her dry lips moving with forced effort.
“I… have to…”
‘I have to do it.’
“Divinity…”
‘I have to pour out divinity.’
She was repeating those words over and over again.
Even though she shouldn’t be able to see or hear anything.
‘Was it a miracle born of such a will?’
A divinity as faint as her voice was leaking weakly from Irina’s body.
It was thanks to that that she was holding on even now.
‘Who could point a finger at her just because her appearance was hideous?’
‘Who would dare to lift their head in the face of such nobility?’
‘Who would doubt her holy heart and noble will?’
The girl who possessed the holiest and most noble heart, chosen directly by the last goddess.
So, Hio placed his hand over Irina’s hollow eyes and stirred his divinity.
[PROPOSING THE POSITION OF ‘APOSTLE’ TO THE TARGET.]
[THE TARGET IS NOT IN A STATE TO EXERCISE JUDGMENT OR EXPRESS WILL.]
[THE POSITION OF APOSTLE IS BEING FORCIBLY GRANTED.]
[80,000 DIVINITY POINTS WILL BE CONSUMED.]
The newly granted rank of Apostle raised the rank of Irina’s physical body, and divinity began to envelop her.
Her broken hands regenerated, and her shriveled skin plumped with elasticity.
When he gently removed his hand from her once-empty eye sockets…
“… Apostle Irina.”
The new Apostle was looking up at Hio with clear, pure white eyes.