She didn’t want protection, she didn’t want to be held, and she didn’t want to be treated like a fragile treasure held in the palm of someone’s hand.
She wanted to return to being the father who could stand tall with a majestic gaze, standing honorably before her.
She wanted the dignity that belonged to an elder, the confidence that belonged to the strong, and the unique life that belonged to her alone.
She didn’t want to be like this—like a captive kitten, huddled in her daughter’s arms, unable to even resist, escape, or maintain her dignity.
“I don’t want you to…”
Bai Li shook her head violently, tears flying.
“I don’t want you to hold me… I don’t want it like this… Change me back, change me back to the way I was…”
“I can’t change you back,” Longjiu interrupted her, her words blunt and cruel.
“Even if I could, I wouldn’t let you leave.”
“Bai Li, stop thinking about the past. Stop thinking about being a father, and stop thinking about that dignity and pride. Those things have no meaning to you now.”
“Now, you only need to remember one thing…”
Longjiu leaned down slightly, gently burying her face in the crook of her neck.
Her voice carried a tenderness and possessiveness that bordered on paranoia and madness.
“You are my most precious daughter now… You can only stay by my side, can only be held by me, and can only be protected by me. You’re not allowed to run, you’re not allowed to hide, and you’re not allowed to think about leaving me ever again.”
“This is the punishment for your escape.”
“It is also your destiny for the rest of your life.”
“A lifetime.”
These three words were as heavy as a mountain, pressing down until Bai Li could hardly breathe.
‘Will it be like this for a lifetime? Will I have to stay by the side of the daughter I raised myself in this weak, tiny, and helpless form for the rest of my life? Will I be held by her, protected by her, and forcefully possessed by her for a lifetime, losing all dignity, freedom, and self?’
She didn’t dare think about it.
The moment she did, her heart ached as if it were about to tear apart, a pain so intense she wished for death.
She was once such a proud, glorious, and respected person.
She had lived a life of integrity, acting with a clear conscience, standing tall with a gaze full of honesty and majesty.
She was the Great Human Magic Instructor, admired by thousands, basking in infinite glory.
“But what about now?”
She was huddled in her daughter’s arms, her eyes red and her face covered in tears, unable to even utter a single firm word.
Her former majesty had vanished without a trace, her former pride had been ground into dust, and her former identity had become the joke that stung and mocked her the most.
Even her anger seemed so powerless.
Even her struggles were so insignificant.
She couldn’t even maintain her last shred of dignity.
“You’re too overbearing…”
Bai Li cried until her whole body trembled, her voice as weak as a flickering candle in the wind.
“You don’t understand at all… You don’t understand how miserable I feel inside…”
“I understand.”
Longjiu closed her eyes, her voice trembling slightly, carrying a hint of vulnerability she hadn’t noticed herself.
“I understand better than anyone.”
“I know you are unwilling, I know you feel wronged, I know you feel your dignity has been trampled upon, and I know you hate me for turning you into this.”
“But I have no choice.”
“I cannot lose you. I cannot let you leave me. I cannot let you disappear from my world.”
“To you, this is punishment, humiliation, and the shattering of your dignity. To me, this is redemption, peace of mind, and the only reason for me to keep living.”
“Bai Li, even if you hate me, even if you think I am overbearing, cruel, and unreasonable, I will not let you go.”
“In this life, the next life, and for all eternity, you can only be by my side.”
Bai Li was completely speechless.
All her rebuttals, all her stubbornness, and all her resentment became pale, weak, and meaningless in the face of this nearly insane obsession.
She had lost.
Completely and utterly, she had suffered a crushing defeat.
She had lost to the child she had raised with her own hands.
She had lost to this sentiment that was so heavy it made her suffocate.
She had lost to this body that she could never return from.
And even more, she had lost to that tiny bit of concern and soft-heartedness for Longjiu that had never disappeared from the depths of her heart, a feeling that had seeped into her very marrow.
“Did she hate her?”
“She did. “
She hated this absurd transformation, she hated this reversal of identities, and she hated this crushed dignity.
“But could she bear to leave?”
She couldn’t.
This was the child she had raised and protected with her own hands.
This was the person she had loved for more than ten years, protected for more than ten years, kept in her heart for more than ten years, and cherished as a treasure.
“Dignity…”
Even if their identities were reversed, even if there was a vast disparity in their power, and even if her dignity was completely lost, she couldn’t bring herself to truly hate or truly leave.
“Contradiction. “
An endless contradiction.
It was like a blunt knife, repeatedly pulling and cutting at her heart day and night, causing unspeakable pain.
She wanted to resist, but she was powerless.
She wanted to escape, but she couldn’t bear to.
She wanted to let go, but she was unwilling. She wanted to accept it, but it was humiliating.
Once a majestic father, now a tiny girl.
Once the one who protected her daughter as she grew, now the one imprisoned by her.
Once a pillar of the world, now weak and helpless.
In this world, there was nothing more cruel, helpless, or mocking than this.
Longjiu held the person in her arms whose body had gone limp from crying and was nearly exhausted.
Her heart felt pained, bitter, sour, and soft.
She knew she was being cruel, she knew she was being overbearing, and she knew she was bit by bit crushing the things that person had once been proud of and valued as much as life itself.
“But she had no choice.”
Someone who had lost everything once could not bear a second separation.
Someone she couldn’t find once, she would never dare to let go of for even a second again.
She could only use this most overbearing, selfish, and unreasonable method to lock the person firmly by her side.
Even if she hated her, resented her, or felt humiliated by her.
Even if she was restless every night, her dignity shattered and her heart pierced as if by a knife.
She could not, would not, and did not dare to let go.
“Don’t cry anymore…”
Longjiu spoke softly, her voice extremely gentle and light.
She reached out to wipe away the tears on her face bit by bit, her movements cautious, as if she were treating the most fragile treasure in the world.
“I won’t be mean to you anymore, I won’t force you, and I won’t scare you.”
“You are still you. You are still the person who raised me, the person I care about most, treasure most, and keep closest to my heart.”
“It’s just my turn to protect you, my turn to hold you, and my turn to give you a home.”
“Isn’t that good?”
Bai Li didn’t answer.
She only buried herself in Longjiu’s embrace, her whole body shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably.
It wasn’t good.
It wasn’t good at all.
What she wanted wasn’t protection, an embrace, or a home. She wanted herself.
She wanted the version of herself who could stand tall, have a majestic gaze, and be an honorable father.
But those words were choked in her throat and shattered in the depths of her heart, never to be spoken again.
The warm yellow light spilled over the two of them, kneading their shadows together until they were inseparable.
Outside the window, the moonlight was as gentle as water.
Inside the room, the sound of crying was low and sobbing.
The air was filled with heartache, grievance, dominance, and possessiveness, as well as that misplaced tenderness that made one feel helpless and pained.
Longjiu just held her like that, gently patting her back, patient and gentle, just like Bai Li used to coax her when she was little.
Except when they were little, it was the father holding the tiny daughter.
Now, it was the daughter holding the tiny father.
Bai Li gradually grew tired from crying.
Her voice lowered bit by bit until only a faint sob remained, her whole body limp and weak.
Leaning in Longjiu’s arms, she smelled that familiar yet unsettling scent of Dragon Breath and felt that warm yet humiliating embrace.
The contradiction and bitterness in her heart almost completely submerged her.
She was once the embrace. Now, she was the person in the embrace.
She was once the majesty.
Now, she was the person suppressed by majesty.
She was once the father.
Now, she was a tiny, fragile, and pitiful figure huddled in her daughter’s arms, unable to even struggle.
Her dignity was gone.
Her identity was gone.
Her power was gone.
Even her way out was gone.
All that remained was endless heartache and a fate that she couldn’t escape, couldn’t break free from, couldn’t let go of, and couldn’t bring herself to hate.
Longjiu lowered her head and pressed a gentle yet paranoid, precious yet overbearing kiss on the top of her sweat-dampened hair.
“Don’t be afraid. From now on, I won’t let you suffer any more hardship, any more injury, or any more grievance… except for this fate where you must stay by my side.”
Bai Li closed her eyes, crystal tears still hanging from her long eyelashes.
She looked like a little bird with broken wings that could no longer fly and could no longer escape.
She didn’t nod, nor did she shake her head.
She just quietly allowed herself to be held by her daughter, holding onto that past that could never be returned to, and holding onto this present where her dignity was shattered, yet she could neither let go nor escape.
The night grew deep.
One person held onto an obsession, unable to sleep all night.
One person buried her heartache, unable to find peace all night.
A reversed destiny, a shattered dignity, and a protection that was overbearing to the point of cruelty, yet deep to the point of extremity.
From then on, there was no way back.