My heart skipped a beat, like a metronome missing one beat.
I clenched my fists, my fingertips trembling.
I finally couldn’t help but speak. My voice was soft, carrying a hint of a sob.
“Xiao Yan, how much do you actually remember? Do you remember how I used to look? Do you remember the nights I taught you to recognize the stars?”
I had never spoken so bluntly before.
After saying it, I was stunned myself.
Even my breathing trembled slightly.
She looked at me, her gaze as calm as lake water, without probing or questioning.
She just gently shook her head.
“President.”
She smiled and wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.
At some point, a small Star Badge had appeared in her hand.
It was something I used to hang on the telescope, one I couldn’t find after the Transformation.
On the back of the badge was a small horizontal line I had casually scratched—a mark made while calibrating the telescope.
“Some things don’t need to be said out loud.”
I looked at her back and suddenly realized that the telescope she was wiping was the very one I used most often.
On the barrel, there was still the small dent I had accidentally knocked into it.
“This telescope…”
I couldn’t help but speak.
Her hand paused, and she turned back to look at me, a smile hiding something inexplicable.
“Yeah, I know you like this one.”
She turned back and continued wiping the telescope, her tone returning to its usual lightheartedness.
“You are who you are now. That’s enough.”
I froze in place, the Star Map in my hand sliding to the ground.
‘She remembers. She remembers everything.’
—
By the time we finished organizing the equipment, it was nearly 2:00 PM.
Xiao Yan patted the dust off her hands and squinted with satisfaction as she looked at the neatly arranged Star Maps on the wall.
“Perfect! It looks much better than before.”
I crouched on the floor, tidying up waste paper, and gave a quiet hum of agreement.
My mind was a mess, filled entirely with the Star Badge in her hand.
‘That was bought with the prize money from my first Astronomy Competition. Why does she have it?’
“President, want to go to the Rooftop to see the sunset?”
She suddenly suggested, shaking her phone, her eyes sparkling.
“There’s still half an hour.”
The wind on the Rooftop was strong, blowing my hair into a mess like a little lion cub.
The sun slowly sank toward the mountains, dyeing the sky, along with the reservoir by the mountains, in layers of orange-red.
It looked like an overturned watercolor palette.
The distant shadows of the mountains were deep purple, blending into the clouds and mist of the horizon, incredibly beautiful.
Xiao Yan leaned against the railing, her profile gilded with warm light by the setting sun.
The wind blew strands of her hair; she reached out and tucked them behind her ear, her movements slow and gentle.
I stood beside her, my hands shoved deep into my trench coat pockets, clenching them so tightly that my fingertips felt hot.
The wind carried the cold scent of vegetation.
I hunched my shoulders and pulled my collar higher, curling up like a cold-sensitive kitten.
“Is the President cold?”
She asked softly.
“I’m okay.”
“Liar.”
She reached out and pulled my hand into the warmth of her clothes.
Her heat transferred from her palm, cozy and offsetting the fading sunlight.
The sun set.
We stood there for a long time.
The sky changed from orange-red, to deep purple, and then to ink-blue.
The first star appeared in the sky, bright, like a diamond pinned to a dark blue cloth.
“President, the Venus Conjunction with Moon next month,” Xiao Yan suddenly spoke, her voice light like a dream.
I blinked.
The Venus Conjunction with Moon was exactly the scene I had seen on the night of my Transformation.
“Hmm?”
“Let’s watch it together.”
She turned to look at me, her eyes bright, reflecting that star in the sky as if an entire galaxy were hidden within them.
“Still right here. I have the keys, you know.”
She turned and began walking down, her ponytail swaying behind her like a happy little tail.
After a couple of steps, she suddenly looked back with a sweet smile.
“President, I’ll come find you tomorrow morning to comb your hair.”
“No need!”
“We already agreed. You might be amazing, President, but I still have a bit more experience being a girl than you do ~”
She laughed, her voice drifting in the wind like a piece of sweet candy.
“Besides, I promised in the Club Room that I’d help you from now on.”
She turned and left, her footsteps gradually disappearing into the stairwell.
—
I watched her disappearing figure, unable to fully process everything that had happened today.
‘I don’t know what it means, why she pretended not to remember, or why she suddenly said those things today. I don’t even know what that bright spark in her eyes was when she looked at me.’
The wind blew again, plastering hair over my face.
I brushed it away and turned to head down.
When I reached the stairwell, my phone vibrated.
A message from Xiao Yan:
“President, thank you for today. I’ll come see you tomorrow morning.”
There was a star emoji at the end.
I stared at the screen for a long time, the corners of my mouth curving up secretly.
I replied with a “Sure.”
Then I stared at that star, feeling a sweetness in my heart as if I were holding an orange candy.
The Venus Conjunction with Moon next month, right here.
That’s what she said.
She has the keys.
I turned to go downstairs.
Halfway down, my phone vibrated again.
Xiao Yan: “By the way, President, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”
I stopped, my heart starting to thud again.
She took a long time to type.
The screen kept showing “Typing…”, stopping and starting repeatedly, like a hesitant little rabbit.
Finally, only one sentence came through:
“Are you… used to your life now?”
I stood in the stairwell, looking at that line of text, my eyes feeling a bit hot.
‘Am I used to it?’
She wasn’t asking about clothes, tying hair, or being called Senior.
She was asking about becoming a girl.
I clutched my phone, my fingertips warm, not knowing how to reply.
The screen lit up again.
Xiao Yan: “No rush. You can think about it slowly until tomorrow morning.”
Followed by a smiley face.