Chapter 19: Can a Woman You Idealize and a Woman You Want to Be Be the Same?

Xiang Bei was finally gone.

...What an actor!

Gao Qinghe recalled Xiang Bei's shameless expression when he yelled, "Hey, my lips are bleeding from the heat lately, Lin Xi, do you have any lip balm?" and felt nothing but disgust.

Yet, the cool, woody scent of his cologne lingered at the tip of her nose, refusing to dissipate.

That domineering, rich fragrance, mixed with the tension of male hormones, stirred a strange flutter in her heart—she didn't know what was wrong with herself. Logically, she had countless reasons to hate Xiang Bei, to find him utterly annoying to the core. But the moment he touched her, her heart would inexplicably race.

No, wasn't the whole 'going weak at a touch, trembling all over from a caress' nonsense something straight out of an eroge or a light novel? In real life—

Gao Qinghe suddenly remembered the image of the perfect woman that had flashed in her mind when she clicked that link.

...Alright, alright, she admitted she had briefly thought of nonsense like having a hot body but being so sensitive she'd tremble all over at a touch.

As a man, of course, that kind of woman seemed the best!

But if the roles were reversed, who would want to have a reaction when facing an enemy?! Yes, yes, the heroines entangled by tentacle monsters in those games were indeed alluring, but that was just on the surface. Believe her, believe her, this feeling of humiliating defeat was truly unbearable!

Gao Qinghe shook her head, trying to shake off the spreading warmth in her lower abdomen.

Xiang Bei was that enemy. One day, she would tear off his hypocrite mask and make him taste the pain of crying and begging for Lin Xi back in a snowstorm!

She turned to look at the desk. Lin Xi was sitting there, her slender body leaning forward slightly, expression focused, her fingertips flying across the laptop keyboard, the tapping sounds fine and rapid. Gao Qinghe approached softly, bare feet on the cool marble floor, the faint chill seeping in.

"Sister Lin Xi, I think this Xiang Bei is so rude," Gao Qinghe's voice was soft, but her tone carried clear displeasure. She leaned against the edge of the desk, the movement causing the sleeve of her knit sweater to slip down, covering her slender fingers. "What does he have over my cousin? He looks like a total playboy."

"...Hm? Xiang Bei?" Lin Xi looked up from the computer screen, taking a moment to process Gao Qinghe's words. She stopped typing, a somewhat amused expression appearing on her face, a soft, helpless smile at the corner of her lips. "He's alright. He used to be quite the player, but he settled down after getting into a relationship."

Him? Settled down?

Settled down my foot!

Gao Qinghe scoffed silently in her heart.

If Xiang Bei had truly settled down, would he still come to flirt with me? Spending a fortune on a full set of Hermès for himself—if you said he didn't have any ulterior motives, even a ghost wouldn't believe it.

Gao Qinghe opened her mouth, then quickly pursed her lips, her fingers unconsciously twisting the hem of her jacket.

"Uh, he... he is? Can't tell."

If she told the truth, the lies she'd spun would unravel, so she forcefully swallowed her words.

"Sister Lin Xi, then why do you actually like Xiang Bei? It can't just be because he's rich, right?"

"...Qinghe, you're quite blunt." Lin Xi didn't seem annoyed, just a bit helpless as she pinched Gao Qinghe's cheek, slightly deforming her soft, elastic face. She withdrew her hand, her fingers lightly waving in the air. "I don't lack the money Xiang Bei has. I like him mainly because he has a strong sense of agency, he knows very clearly what he wants."

Agency? How did we get onto this again?

Gao Qinghe frowned in confusion.

Lin Xi always used to spout strange academic terms, leaving him utterly confused and causing him to lose every argument. She thought Lin Xi would say something like 'handsome and rich' or 'domineering with a soft side'—what did 'strong sense of agency' even mean?

"My... my cousin also knows what he wants!" Gao Qinghe could only latch onto the latter part of the sentence, stubbornly refuting, seemingly very unconvinced. "His feelings for you are genuine, and he's always known that the only one he wants is you..."

"That's not what I mean," Lin Xi gently interrupted, her tone soft yet firm. She turned to look out the window, her cat-like eyes narrowing slightly in the refracted sunlight, the dark circles under them making her appear mature and weary. "I'm talking about bigger things. For example, Gao Jingdong doesn't have a plan for his whole life. I mean things like what he wants to do in the future, where he wants to live, that sort of thing."

This... wasn't this still indirectly calling him a loser?

Gao Qinghe stiffened, a chill rising in her chest, immediately followed by a surge of fire, making her feel intensely angry.

Didn't that damn Xiang Bei know what he wanted to do in the future because his path was already paved for him?

Didn't Gao Jingdong also wish he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, received the best education, then inherited the family business, married a beautiful, rich woman, and reached the pinnacle of life?

But he was just a poor kid from an ordinary family, planning to find a job after graduation to make a living, then live a stable, ordinary life.

He finally managed to win over a beautiful and smart girl like Lin Xi with his considerate, meticulous, honest, and kind virtues, only to be snatched away by a rich second-generation heir.

A wave of intense resentment surged in Gao Qinghe's chest, almost making her nose sting.

"My cousin... my cousin isn't a rich second-generation heir, how could he possibly know what he wants right away..." Gao Qinghe's voice sounded somewhat indignant, but to Lin Xi, it was unclear whether she was being coquettish or argumentative.

"Sigh..." Lin Xi sighed, turning to look at Gao Qinghe, her gaze softening as she gently patted her back. "So I never forced him before. I just wanted him to at least not fail his courses, to learn more things he was interested in. I even took him to our exchange meetings to chat with all sorts of people, but all he wanted to do every day was stay home and play games... Sigh, our problems weren't just that, but let's not talk about it."

...?

What did she mean by that?

Gao Qinghe's heart sank.

What bullshit exchange meetings... Was she talking about those gatherings her rich friends held?

Everyone dressed in sharp suits, while he wore his one and only suit, looking like an idiot selling insurance or doing promotions.

After Lin Xi introduced him to everyone, she'd disappear somewhere, leaving him trapped among a bunch of strange, pretentious people, being pointed at and whispered about—he could hear them laughing at him behind his back.

The topics they discussed were also things he had no knowledge of—contemporary art, feminist patriarchy, which symphony orchestra was better...

What did he know about any of that?!

Gao Qinghe bit her lower lip hard, the hem of her knit sweater jacket crumpled into a wrinkled mess in her grip.

"Ah! Speaking of exchange meetings," Lin Xi seemed to suddenly remember something, clapping her hands in the air. She looked at Gao Qinghe, a glint of light in her eyes. "There happens to be one tomorrow night, hosted by my friend. I see you do have formal clothes... Qinghe, do you want to come with us?"

"...Ah, I'd better not..." Gao Qinghe opened her mouth to refuse. She didn't want to make a fool of herself in that kind of place again.

"It's fine, my friends are all super nice," Lin Xi seemed quite insistent, her eyes narrowing slightly, but her expression gradually grew somewhat worried. "It's mainly that it might run late, and I'm a bit worried about leaving you alone at home."

...Hmm, it seemed she was genuinely concerned about her mental state.

A wave of warmth surged in Gao Qinghe's heart. She loosened her tight grip on her clothes and looked down. Her slender, pale hands glowed softly under the light, a world apart from the rough, large hands of before.

"...Alright," Gao Qinghe thought for a moment and finally conceded.

It should be fine, right? She was a girl now...

She probably wouldn't be singled out and embarrassed like before—