The winter sunset cast a crimson glow.
Inside the milk tea shop near Dongguan Station, I sat at a small square table stained red by the light, right next to He Moning, who was seated on the corner sofa booth.
As agreed, we left work together and silently followed the crowd to this shop at the subway entrance.
The hot cocoa on the table steamed, distorting her reflection in its surface.
From the moment we sat down, she had been bowing her head toward me.
The sunlight piercing the large glass window behind her projected a bloody hue onto the table.
“…A simple ‘sorry’ can’t make me forget what happened before,” I said coldly.
After I spoke, the shadow of her head covered the table again.
“I’m really sorry about what happened back in university! If you won’t forgive me, I’ll keep my head down! What do you want me to do for you to accept it? I’ll do anything!”
Her eyes blinked, the emerald-green irises trembling with ripples of emotion, reflecting my stony expression in their pupils.
“It’s not about wanting compensation from you… I can’t feel any sincerity from you.”
“I don’t know! How am I supposed to show sincerity… I’m already bowing my head and begging you. You don’t even want me to do anything, I don’t understand!”
As she spoke, she let the sunlight hit the tabletop again.
Maintaining that bowed posture only tortured herself.
I wouldn’t make concessions out of pity.
I wasn’t the same person I used to be…
Remembering how Su Xixia had pleaded with me in the past, I kept reinforcing the defenses in my heart until they were impregnable.
“I don’t need you to do anything. If you keep this up, there’s no point in continuing this conversation.”
I sipped through the straw, finishing the drink.
The bittersweet taste of the hot cocoa rushed to my stomach.
“Sigh.”
I let out a breath and stood up.
“Li Mingshan! My feelings… are still the same as before.”
I had only taken one step when she grabbed the hem of my coat and refused to let go.
She looked up at me, large teardrops welling in the corners of her eyes.
“I can’t accept you. Do you think you can take advantage of the situation once An Zhi is gone? If I had to choose someone to date, it wouldn’t be you.”
I voiced my speculation about her intentions in one breath, trying to crush her resolve with a single blow.
“I wasn’t thinking that! I just…”
“Just what?”
I tried to pry her hand away, but just as I was about to touch it, I stopped.
“I don’t know.”
“Haven’t thought of an excuse yet? Then you can think about it slowly here by yourself. I’m leaving.”
“Wait!”
She cried out stubbornly.
Other customers in the shop turned to look.
My worn-out coat was pulled taut.
“My dad spoils me. He’s on good terms with the executives at Baiyangwan Mutual Entertainment. Our company landing that big project… it wasn’t because of that swindler of a liaison. It was me…”
“You… what?”
The project was transferred so smoothly.
After my long leave, I was still able to take on such an important project.
Could it be related to her?
Without my knowledge, she had acted as a key, opening a shortcut for me and letting me walk right onto it…
After a few seconds of stunned silence, I grabbed her soft, small hand and forcibly pried her fingers open.
What the hell?
This is a public place.
Colleagues might even pass by outside.
Is she insane?
“You… are you trying to threaten me? That’s despicable to the extreme! Let go of me!”
To force me to be with her, would she even resort to this kind of method?
I saw several people outside the milk tea shop’s large windows looking this way.
Among them might be new employees from the company.
No good!
I need to get away from her, fast…
“Li Ming…”
“Idiot, don’t say my name!”
I glared at her.
“Back in university, and at the company at noon, and now this… were they all deliberately planned by you!? You want to pressure me with these methods, right!?”
“I…”
Her eyes widened, the light in them fading and blurring.
“I don’t know.”
“Let go!”
I yanked my coat hem violently.
The zipper pull bent from the force and fell to the floor, finally freeing me from her grip.
“You say you don’t know? Is that your sincerity? You plan to make me yield with just the flimsy words ‘I’m sorry’ and that despicable threat!?”
“I really don’t know! I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“This is pointless. I’m leaving.”
I tossed out the words, pushed open the milk tea shop door, and the wind chime at the entrance jingled.
The distant sunset was sliced apart by the winding silhouette of the mountains.
I walked into the subway station, escaping the faintly painful crimson glow on the surface.
On the swiftly moving train, I clutched the hanging strap and lowered my head, squeezed among the crowded commuters.
I kept hallucinating that someone was watching me.
I finally managed to integrate into the company, to establish myself in this new environment.
Am I going to repeat the same mistakes again?
Become the target of bullying and ostracism again, like in childhood, like in university…?
No, absolutely not!!
I just want to move forward properly.
“The train will soon arrive at Golden Lake Station. Passengers heading for the University District, please…”
The moment the doors opened, I dashed out, running all the way to my apartment door, panting heavily.
Su Xixia…
Doesn’t seem to have come today.
Wait, why am I thinking about her?
I…
I live here alone anyway.
I opened my apartment door, collapsed weakly onto the bed, and tried to calm my racing heart.
—
When the crimson world outside the window was covered by darkness, and the brightly lit pendant lamps in the milk tea shop cast a warm glow, He Moning raised her head from her damp arms.
The cocoa in front of her no longer steamed.
It tasted less bitter when she sipped it.
“Why is it like this! After all these years, why hasn’t he forgotten?”
She clenched her small fist and thumped it on the table.
Whenever she couldn’t stop crying, she could never quite understand what Li Mingshan meant by repeatedly mentioning “sincerity.”
What university stuff, what happened at noon…
Those were just things she did subconsciously.
Besides, back then, who else could have immediately helped share her emotional burden?
“Dad, I failed. I’m so sad…”
She held her phone and sent a voice message.
“Moning, it’s not your fault. Dad’s busy with a new batch of publishing approvals. If there’s anything, just say it. I’ll handle it for you after I’m done.”
The other party replied with a voice message instantly.
She massaged her eyes, sore from crying.
When she opened them, the emerald-green irises had regained their sparkle.
“Says he’ll handle it for me, but all he ever does is throw money or pull strings… What’s the damn use?”
She complained, pursing her lips as she looked at the transfer notification on her phone screen.
She took the long-cold cocoa and walked out onto the street.
Suddenly remembering something, she walked back into the shop and found the zipper pull Li Mingshan had dropped on the floor.
Back on the street, clouds drifted swiftly across the deep blue night sky, obscuring the starlight.
“Every time, it’s like this. Says something and then just transfers money. It’s not money I want, this is so annoying!”
She had told her parents long ago that she wanted Li Mingshan to be her boyfriend.
The response every time was, “Go for it, we support you.”
When she asked how to do it, she would immediately receive a money transfer.
Use money!
If you want something, solve it with money.
If that still doesn’t work, pull strings.
Everything is like that.
“Fine! Now I’ve used all of it, what other moves do I have!? Sign up for a dance class!? Buy a white gown to wear for dancing!?”
She stomped heavily down the steps and entered the subway.
Thinking of the white gown, she took out her phone again and browsed a shopping app.
She filtered for men’s winter warm coats, sorted by price from high to low, licking her lips as she scrolled.
This pure black down jacket…
No, he’s already so aloof and gloomy, can’t make him any darker.
This fleece-lined windbreaker, orange is very lively…
Then my presence would be diluted by his color!
No good.
American workwear style, brown casual look.
Seems okay!
About 1,000-something, not too expensive either.
Buy it.
In her mind, she pictured Li Mingshan’s physique, imagining how he would look wearing each type of clothing, a brilliant smile spreading across her face.
Back at the apartment building, the motion-sensor lights in the hallway lit up one by one with her footsteps.
Standing in front of Li Mingshan’s apartment door, she could hear the sizzling sound of stir-frying inside, and a delicious aroma wafted through the gap under the door.
Stir-fried beef, maybe?
Does he like beef?
She wondered.
The motion-sensor lights turned off one by one, darkness enveloping the entire hallway.
She still leaned against the door, listening to the sounds inside.
Until—the elevator in the distance chimed, and a woman with pale skin stepped out.
In a panic, He Moning took a step to flee toward her own room, but the motion-sensor light that lit up in front of her betrayed her presence.
“Who’s there! Hiding by my door!”
Came the familiar voice of the woman behind her.
That scary, obstructive female ghost again!
What on earth is her relationship with Li Mingshan!?
She complained inwardly.
Without looking back, she opened her door and escaped into her own room.