Xiao Yan’s hair had come loose, a few strands falling across her face.
My ponytail was crooked, the elastic barely clinging to the ends.
The neck of my sweatshirt was pulled wide, revealing a sliver of collarbone.
The hem of Xiao Yan’s blouse had escaped from her waistband, wrinkled and messy.
The crisp sound of metal turning echoed sharply through the quiet living room.
I jerked out of Xiao Yan’s arms like I’d been hit by an electric shock.
The strawberry soda bottle in my hand almost flew out.
I scrambled to catch it, soda sloshing over the rim and splashing onto the back of my hand—cool and wet.
“Don’t panic, don’t panic.”
“We’re both girls.”
Xiao Yan’s voice was very low.
With one hand, she smoothed my hair; with the other, she gently squeezed my fingers under the table.
“Just say you’re my classmate, here to discuss club activities.”
Her own hair was a mess too.
She casually ran her hand through it, tucking the loose strands behind her ears, and stuffed the hem of her blouse back in.
The movements were quick, but her fingers were trembling.
The door opened.
A gentle female voice floated in first, laced with laughter.
“Yan Yan, Mama’s home.”
Xiao’s Mother walked in carrying groceries.
She wore a light blue knit cardigan, her hair tied up in a bun at the back of her head.
She looked very young.
She froze for a moment when she saw me, her eyes widening slightly, then immediately broke into a smile.
“Oh, you brought a friend?”
She shifted the groceries to her left hand and wiped her right hand on her apron.
“Why didn’t you tell me ahead of time? Then Auntie could have prepared some good food.”
Xiao’s Father followed behind.
He wore a dark jacket and carried fruit in his hands, a warm, welcoming smile on his face.
He nodded at me.
“Welcome, welcome.”
Xiao’s Mother added,
“There was a temporary power outage at my office today, so I came back to get my lesson plans. I didn’t expect you two to be home.”
My mind went completely blank.
I didn’t know where to put my hands, where to put my feet.
I didn’t even know how to breathe anymore.
The fabric of the sofa cover was gouged into a shallow pit under my fingernails, a loose thread caught in my nail bed.
“Hello, Uncle… Auntie…”
My voice was as tiny as a mosquito’s whine, so quiet I couldn’t even hear myself after I said it.
“My name is Han Hanhan. I’m Xiao Yan’s classmate from school, and I’m also in the Astronomy Club.”
I finished speaking and dropped my head, staring at my knees.
There was a small soda stain on one knee, still cool.
My hair was still loose.
A strand fell across my cheek, and I tucked it behind my ear.
Xiao’s Mother walked over and sat down next to me.
The sofa dipped slightly.
There was a faint scent of laundry detergent on her, very similar to the one on Xiao Yan, but a little different—softer.
She took my hand voluntarily.
Her hand was soft and warm.
There was a thin callus on her fingertips, probably from holding chalk.
“This doll is really cute.”
She looked down at the rabbit toy in my arms, gently stroking its ear.
“Where did you buy it?”
“Xiao Yan gave it to me just now.”
My voice was small, but clearer than before.
Xiao’s Mother glanced at Xiao Yan and smiled.
Her eyes were very similar to Xiao Yan’s; they both turned into crescent moons when they smiled.
“At least she has good taste,” she said.
Xiao’s Father took an orange from the fruit plate and sat down on the single sofa next to them.
He peeled the orange very slowly, strip by strip.
The peels curled into little rolls, falling onto the coffee table.
When he was done, he handed it to me.
“Is Xiaohan doing well at school?”
His voice wasn’t loud.
“Xiao Yan always slacks off at home. You should help Auntie and me keep her in line.”
I took the orange, my face red.
The orange was warm, from being held in his hand.
I said in a small voice,
“Xiao Yan has really good grades. She even helps me with my English.”
Xiao’s Mother was even happier to hear that.
She flipped my hand over, palm up, and gently patted it.
“What do you like to eat? Auntie will cook it for you tonight.”
She tilted her head to look at me.
“Xiao Yan is such a picky eater. She only loves sweet and sour ribs, and barely touches anything else.”
“I like light food… like tomato and egg stir-fry.”
My voice relaxed a little, but I still didn’t dare to look up at her.
Xiao’s Father nodded from the side.
“Tomato and egg stir-fry is good. Nutritious.”
Xiao’s Mother held my hand and wouldn’t let go, asking again,
“What do you usually like to do? Besides astronomy?”
“I also like… watching anime, and eating snacks.”
I felt so pathetic after I said it.
My ears were burning like they were on fire.
But Xiao’s Mother just laughed even harder, the fine wrinkles at the corners of her eyes bunching up.
“Yan Yan likes that too!”
She patted the back of my hand.
“You two really get along.”
Xiao’s Mother looked at Xiao Yan, then suddenly remembered something.
Smiling, she said to me,
“Did you know? She wasn’t this tough when she was little. When she was in third grade, the school organized a spring outing to the botanical garden. The teacher told everyone to bring a bento box, and she insisted on making it herself.”
“By herself?”
I was stunned.
“Mmhmm, by herself.”
Xiao’s Mother said, still smiling.
“The night before, she stood on a little stool, wearing an apron, and insisted on frying her own egg.”
“She cracked the first egg wrong, and eggshell fell into the bowl. She tried to pick it out with chopsticks for ages, but couldn’t get it clean, and she started crying. I said Mama will help you, but she refused. She said, ‘I have to do my own things myself.'”
Xiao Yan covered her face from the side, her voice muffled.
“Mom… stop…”
Xiao’s Father chimed in,
“Then she fried three eggs. The first two were burnt, and the third was barely passable. She put the third one in her bento box and ate the first two herself. When she finished, she said, ‘It’s a little bitter,’ but she still ate them all.”
I turned my head to look at Xiao Yan.
Her ears were completely red.
Her lips were pressed together, her eyes fixed on the orange peels on the coffee table, refusing to look at me.
I couldn’t help the corner of my mouth from twitching up.
Xiao’s Mother continued,
“And there was another time. She insisted on keeping a cat. We said no, because we didn’t have the means. So she made a ‘cat house’ out of a cardboard box, put it in the community garden, and went every day after school to put out cat food.”
“That cat actually came. It lived in the cardboard box for a few days.”
“And then?”
I asked.
“Then she found out that cat was Grandma Wang’s from the next building over.”
Xiao’s Mother laughed, her eyes crinkling.
“Her cat is free-range. It just goes out for walks on its own every day. Xiao Yan fed it for a whole week for nothing.”
Xiao Yan mumbled under her breath,
“The cat still came to eat…”
Xiao’s Father laughed and said,
“She was so mad she didn’t go near that box for three days. But on the fourth day, she secretly went to Grandma Wang’s place and even brought her some cat food.”
Xiao’s Mother squeezed my hand.
“She’s been like that since she was little—soft-hearted but hard-mouthed. Says she doesn’t care, but she cares more than anyone.”
I stole a glance at Xiao Yan.
She had her head down, her ears red, tracing circles on her knees with her finger.
“What else has she done?”
Xiao’s Mother thought for a moment.
“There was another time. Her classmate was sick in the hospital. She went to the hospital after school to keep her company, and didn’t tell us. We thought she was lost, and we frantically searched everywhere. She came back on her own around eight at night, and said, ‘My classmate was so pitiful all alone, so I stayed to do homework with her.'”
“She was only in fourth grade then.”
Xiao’s Father added.
Xiao Yan finally looked up and met my eyes.
Her eyes were bright, the corners of her mouth turned up, but her eyes were a little red.
“Mom, you’re saying too much.”
Xiao Yan stood up, blushing, and pushed her mother towards the kitchen.
“Go cook. The food is getting cold.”
“The food isn’t cooked yet. How could it be cold?”
Xiao’s Mother laughed as she stood up, picking up the groceries.
“Alright, alright. I’ll stop teasing you.”
She took two steps, then turned back to look at me.
“Xiaohan, stay for dinner tonight. Auntie will make you tomato and egg stir-fry and lots of other good things.”
“Okay.”
I said, my voice a little louder than before.
“Thank you, Auntie.”
Xiao’s Mother winked at me, then turned and walked into the kitchen.
Xiao’s Father followed, carrying the fruit.
As he passed me, he gently patted my head.
“You’re a little thin, Xiaohan. You should eat more.”
His palm was big and warm, pressing down on the top of my head like a cap.
Xiao Yan mumbled from the side,
“Little bunny, you’re being so good to my parents, but you never act this good to me.”
My face red. I gently kicked her under the table.
She didn’t dodge.
Instead, she reached down and grabbed my foot.
Her fingers curled around my foot one by one, her palm pressed against my instep, warm.
“You were so cute when you were little.”
I said in a voice only she could hear.
“Shut up.”
Her ears turned red again.
“Crying over fried eggs and stuff.”
“Shut up, shut up.”
I laughed.
She held my hand even tighter.
From the kitchen came the sound of chopping vegetables—thump thump thump—in a steady rhythm.
Xiao’s Mother was humming, a soft, indistinct melody.
I leaned on Xiao Yan’s shoulder.
My heart was still racing, but somehow I wasn’t so nervous anymore.