Even though I’m not the real Karbaldr and don’t particularly have good feelings for him, listening to Valtraus still made my blood boil.
“It’s because you weren’t there that you can say that, Brother. When you slapped my cheek, have you seen Father’s expression and eyes?”
“You know Father rarely shows emotion, so…”
“It wasn’t his usual blank expression. It wasn’t anger or worry either. It was clear annoyance and weariness.”
“That can’t be…”
“Why do you think it can’t be? He knows full well why I attempted suicide, yet his attitude toward me hasn’t changed one bit.”
“……”
Whether he was at a loss for words, Valtraus couldn’t produce any reply. But I couldn’t stop talking.
“Think about it again. Who else but you all treated my life—born in exchange for Mother’s—as anything precious?”
“…… What are you trying to say?”
“It was Father, Sister, and you, Brother, who drove me to that point. Because no one valued me or even showed me any attention. So I couldn’t value myself either, and couldn’t find a reason to live. Isn’t that how it turned out?”
“That’s…”
Valtraus forced his voice out with difficulty, but that was it. He seemed at a loss for words again and fell silent. I guess he isn’t completely without conscience.
“You say Father truly loved Mother, so when she was alive, the family atmosphere probably wasn’t as cold as now. I wonder if he truly loved his children back then—I have my doubts—but at least he must have pretended. Since a lot of time has passed since then, those memories must be even more beautified in your mind, Brother.”
I had a rough idea. Why Valtraus defends Hard and refuses to acknowledge that he’s a failure as a father.
“So it seems you feel attached to Father and pity him. After all, he lost his beloved wife, and you lost your beloved mother. It’s convenient to identify with his situation. If you pity him out of self-pity for yourself… I can understand that feeling.”
But understanding doesn’t mean condoning.
“So it looks like you all pitied each other and got along quite well—everyone except me. Did I, before I lost my memory, notice that too? Ah, of course you wouldn’t know, Brother. You never paid any attention to me.”
Even I could feel my tone growing more aggressive. Maybe because I was trying to continue the conversation from Karbaldr’s perspective, I inadvertently empathized with his feelings. Or perhaps it’s because I couldn’t ignore the fact that he, too, was a victim of ostracism within the family.
“You can fully sympathize with and pity someone who lost a loved one. But you can’t sympathize at all—not even feel a bit sorry—for the loneliness someone like me feels, who never received love when it was most needed.”
It’s amazing that such a person can be considered ‘humane.’ No, wait. Self-pity to the point of trivializing others’ pain is still an emotion-based action. Compared to those who show no emotion at all, maybe he can be called humane.
“Well, you had someone to share past memories and the pain of loss with, Brother. Even if you felt Mother’s absence, you wouldn’t have felt isolated or deeply lonely.”
“I… I…”
It seems he finally grasps what his younger brother’s situation was like. He looks guilty and can’t even offer an excuse.
“Why are you making that face? It’s not like I revealed some shocking secret; I only stated what you already know.”
“……”
When did it start? Valtraus’s hand could no longer stroke his familiar’s head; it was clenched into a fist.
‘Surely he hasn’t started feeling sorry for his little brother now. Maybe he’s doubting his own morality?’
I felt doubt too. What’s the point of continuing this conversation? Even if the possession body’s family feels late guilt and tries to be nice to me to smooth things over, it only makes me uncomfortable and troubled.
I think it’s best to stop talking now.
With that decision, I brought my hand to the window. I needed some air to calm my surging emotions and cool my heated head.
But my hand couldn’t open the window. Because the carriage suddenly jolted violently and stopped sharply.
“Wha, what?”
I heard Valtraus’s flustered voice, but I didn’t spare him a glance. Instead of the window, I threw the door wide open and got out of the carriage. I wondered if the Confession Villain had thrown a tantrum because he didn’t want to apologize, causing the carriage to overturn.
But the moment I stepped out, what I witnessed was far beyond that.
“No way… Did a Demon Realm form?”
Where the Academy building should have stood, a massive black dome now sat. It was my first time seeing a Demon Realm from outside, but I recognized it instantly. I’d read descriptions in Nas-e, and nowadays everyone in this world talks about Demon Realms.
“For now, it’s best to return to the Capital and observe the situation.”
Valtraus, who had followed me out of the carriage, said something reassuring.
“You do that, Brother.”
“… What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I need to go there. So, may I borrow one of your horses?”
I wanted to just undo the harness connecting the horse to the carriage without asking, but the problem is the horse might get startled and bolt if I, a stranger, approach suddenly. Besides, I learned horseback riding over break, but I’m still clumsy at handling horses. It would be safer if the coachman personally unfastened the harness and handed the horse over to me.
“What? What did you just say? You want to go into that black thing?!”
“Even if it looks like that from outside, you know it’s different inside, Brother. You’ve been caught in a Demon Realm creation phenomenon before.”
“That’s not the issue!”
Valtraus didn’t seem willing to cooperate.
“Have you forgotten that I’m an Awakened, Brother?”
“I know that.”
“Then you must also know why I have to go to the Academy that’s been swallowed by the Demon Realm.”
If I don’t enter the Demon Realm, I’ll be criticized for not fulfilling my duty as an Awakened. Moreover, the place is the Academy, and I’m even a member of the Awakened Special Class. Even if Valtraus had called me to the Capital instead of the café near the commercial district and I claimed ignorance, someone would have held me responsible.
‘But now I’ve directly witnessed the Demon Realm with my own eyes… and isn’t Imperial Princess Fjodra inside too?’
If I warp-gate back to the Capital in this situation, no matter how prestigious the Ducal House is, it won’t be overlooked. I don’t care if the House of Austri incurs the Imperial Family’s wrath or suffers disgrace and criticism, but I thought Valtraus would be different.
“I know that too… but we have to survive first, don’t we?!”
It seems Valtraus is even more of a mama’s boy than I thought. He’s willing to accept the disadvantages to the family rather than let the being born from his mother’s sacrifice die.
“Don’t just stand there. Get back in the carriage.”
“No.”
“Do you really want to die?!”
“I believe I said I wanted to live before.”
“Then why…!!”
He raised his voice as if he couldn’t understand my actions at all. But I have my reasons.
“Because someone I know might die in there.”
I know my own life is precious. Having died once, I know how terrifying and painful death is. So I do think surviving is most important, like Valtraus says…
‘But if the story shifts into the angst genre, it’ll be unstoppable! It won’t end just because I avoid this moment alone.’
To survive until Senna lets go of this work, and to not suffer, I can’t let anyone die. That’s my position.
‘Especially knowing the Special Class students, including Reysir, are fighting inside the Demon Realm… if I ran away alone…’
Everyone would be disappointed and turn their backs on me. Reysir, instead of teasing me with the word ‘kind,’ would build a wall calling me cold-hearted. Liolikin would leave my side, saying he needs to find someone truly reliable, not a coward like me. Pret would draw a line, saying his guild doesn’t need disloyal people. Would Vigdis feel relieved that we had the Engagement Cancellation Contract written up? I think Hailga would click her tongue, saying people don’t change easily.
All of them.
And outside this novel world, the readers of the original work would criticize me and spam the comment section demanding I be killed quickly. The Original Author, seeing that, would obsessively try to kill me.
So I don’t want to run away, and in the first place, I can’t.
“If you won’t lend me a horse, Brother, I’ll have to borrow one from the Offrausi Family. Their carriage is stopped ahead too.”
“W-wait! Hold on!”
As I headed toward where the Villain brothers’ carriage was parked, Valtraus urgently called me back. Then he put the foot he’d placed back on the step down to the ground and let out a deep sigh.
“Rascatl, combat mode.”
He ordered his familiar to use the [Gigantification] skill, then unsheathed the whip from his belt, swung it in the air. Instantly, a familiar sensation—the one I felt every time I used the [Goyang] skill—seeped into my body. Valtraus had used that skill. The targets were probably himself, me, and his familiar Rascatl.
The reason…
“Get on. It’ll be much faster than riding a horse.”
He intended to personally carry me to the Academy engulfed by the Demon Realm. By seating me on the back of his familiar.
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I really like how his family situation is dealt with
Yes Karbaldr! Mature logic and reasoning!!