The stairwell was very dark. This building had not installed voice-activated lights.
Everything in the field of vision was fuzzy and blurred. The afterglow of the sunset shining in from the window dyed the walls a turbid orange.
Having run at full speed without rest all the way from home to here, even though I usually exercised often, I was a bit unable to bear it for a moment.
Supporting the wall and deeply panting, I grabbed the collar of the short-sleeve shirt and wiped the sweat beads at the corner of my forehead, simply tidying the hairstyle to avoid looking too wretched.
Standing in front of Zhi Nian’s door, I raised my hand just about to press the doorbell.
Ka da—
The door suddenly opened from the inside.
Standing at the entrance was not Zhi Nian, but a strange short-haired girl.
Around twenty years old in appearance, two small silver earrings hanging on her ears, the temperament very energetic and capable.
She leaned against the doorframe, her gaze examining me from top to bottom. There was not much expression on her face, but in those eyes was a meaning that was hard to describe… as if examining some unreliable thing.
“You are Gu Fan?”
“…Yes. I’m here to find Zhi Nian.”
“Zhi Nian is unwell. She’s not seeing anyone.”
Her tone flatly issued the eviction order, then gripping the doorknob she gently pushed outward, wanting to shut this uninvited guest out the door.
“Wait!”
Subconsciously extending a hand to brace against the doorframe, the other party seemed not to have used too much force. I did not feel much pressure.
“Wait for what? Wait for you to bring that pretty little girl over together to show off? Our family’s Zhi Nian can’t compare to that little girl’s looks.”
The tone she spoke these words in was very flat, as if saying the weather was nice today.
“No. She and I are only classmates. There was no intimate contact. What you saw at the celebration was a misunderstanding.”
Subconsciously wanting to mobilize emotions to refute, but I knew that at this kind of time calmness was the most important. So I restrained my own emotions, pressed my voice and calmly handed over the truth.
“To be honest, things having developed to this stage, whether you and that little girl are playing ambiguous is already not important.”
The pressure pushing against the doorframe began to gradually lighten.
She half-narrowed her eyes and looked at me for a moment.
“Zhi Nian just finished vomiting. She’s in the bedroom. Her condition is not very good. You yourself think clearly what words to say and grasp the proper measure.”
I opened and closed my mouth wanting to say something, but it was as if something was blocking the throat. I only dazedly lowered my eyes.
She turned sideways and made way for a gap.
“Come in. No need to change shoes. The floor is dirty anyway.”
I walked in. The entrance was a bit narrow. On the floor casually lay a pair of light brown open-toed sandals, soles upward, as if forcefully kicked off by someone.
The living room light was not on. Only that small night light in the corridor was lit, dim and yellow, unable to illuminate anything.
That girl walked in front of me, steps large, slippers pa ta pa ta sounding.
When walking to the bedroom doorway, she suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked at me.
“I am her somewhat related older sister. This time I came to stroll the celebration.”
I nodded.
“Little Zhi Nian’s thoughts are heavy. She hides everything in her own stomach. That phone call she made to you today was already the courage she had accumulated for who knows how long.”
She paused, her gaze falling on my face as if confirming something.
“You yourself carefully ponder how to reply. You are not allowed to lay hands on Zhi Nian. Speak properly. She responds to soft approaches, not hard ones.”
After speaking, she pushed open the bedroom door.
“…Alright. I understand.”
“Hopefully.”
A faint moisture and sour smell mixed with the fresh fragrance of laundry detergent floated out.
The room had no lights on. The curtains were half-drawn. The street lamp light outside shone in through the sheer curtains, casting a piece of gray-white light and shadow on the floor.
Zhi Nian was curled by the bedside.
She faced inward, shrunk into a small cat ball. Her fingers tightly clenched the quilt. Her hair was messily scattered on top, looking disordered.
Like a little kitten that had been soaked for a long time in the rain, thoroughly wet.
The dress she was wearing had not tightened the belt, loose and baggy, revealing a small section of shoulder and the strap of the inner clothing. The upper garment was stained with many obvious water marks, tightly sticking to her body.
I walked into the room, footsteps placed very light, nearly to the degree of being inaudible.
Yet even so, the moment I stepped into the bedroom, the listless cat tail hanging on the floor suddenly lifted for an instant then fell again.
I squatted down by the bedside.
The catgirl maiden before my eyes had half her body sunk into the mattress. The gorgeous red eyes were hidden among the scattered strands of hair, quietly gazing at the ground slanted below, not looking at me.
Zhi Nian’s breathing was heavy, not the heavy of being asleep. More like that kind of exhaustion and heaviness of being so tired there was no strength left, even breathing becoming a burden.
No response.
As if conversing with an exquisite doll. Zhi Nian’s small nose wings moved lightly like a butterfly, only simply displaying her beauty as a doll, yet not responding to any of the master’s needs.
I stared at Zhi Nian’s side face and spaced out for a while, then extended a hand and placed it on the top of her head.
The crown of the head was stained with a few water droplets, feeling cool and wet to the touch. The ends of the hair had some tangles, the hand feeling turning dry and astringent.
Pa ta, pa ta.
The cat tail lying against the skirt hem started up again. It forcefully swung a few times, the tail smashing against the floor and producing dull sounds.
The action of rubbing the head could not help pausing for a moment, but I did not remove the hand, still placing it like this.
Then… slowly, again and again, combing from the top of the head to the ends of the hair.
Like stroking a genuine little cat.
I still remembered when volunteering, going to take care of a sterilized little female cat that had been reserved for adoption. The name seemed to be Fufu?
It liked being stroked under the chin the most. When stroked comfortably it would purr purr cry, eyes narrowing into a slit, the entire cat softening into a pool of water.
I did not know if catgirls would also be like this.
But her hand slightly moved once.
Not dodging, not aversion.
Clearly and explicitly rubbing a bit toward my side.
Perhaps an unconscious action. Even Zhi Nian herself might not have noticed.
I continued stroking. From the cat ears on the top of the head to behind the ears below, then to the back of the head, probing all the fingers into the strands of hair.
Zhi Nian’s hair was very fine and soft, wrapping between the gaps of the fingers, cool and smooth, like water flowing past then flowing back.
Her breathing changed.
No longer that kind of heavy breathing as if shouldering something, but becoming a bit slower, a bit deeper, like a person being allowed to relax.
“Gu Fan…”
Her voice was muffled in the quilt, unclear, carrying a bit of the unique tenderness and softness of a young girl.
“Mm.”
“…Bad-hearted Gu Fan…”
“…Mm. Sorry.”
I thought she would say something. Speak of those things in the phone call, of Shiratori, of the takoyaki, of those words she had hidden in her heart for a very long, very long time, spoken then regretted.
But she did not.
She only rubbed a bit more toward my side again, pressing her forehead against my knee, like a cat finding a warm corner and finally willing to curl herself up.
My hand slid from her hair to the back of her neck.
Zhi Nian’s nape was very slender. The skin was like a soft cotton water ball filled with water, the touch very soft and fluffy.
My fingers stopped there for a moment, then followed downward, touching her shoulder, then along the curve of the shoulder, slowly sliding to her back.
Her back was a bit stiff, a bit moist. Sweat had soaked through the thin dress, yet touching it carried a warm, toasty warmth.
My hand lightly patted her back, again and again, like coaxing a child to sleep. Zhi Nian’s body slowly softened, like a piece of ice little by little melting in warm water.
Then my hand slid to her waist.
Not intentional.
Only following that curve, naturally sliding over.
Zhi Nian’s body suddenly stiffened once.
Not the stiffness of resistance, but like being struck by electricity, the entire person tensing, then in the next instant softening again, softening more thoroughly than before.
Her tail somehow had already propped up from the floor.
Black, fluffy, resting on my wrist, the tip of the tail slightly trembling.
I paused once.
Zhi Nian’s breathing changed again.
As if accidentally touched once, unable to hold back and instinctively making a sound from the depths of the throat.
“Mm-um…”
Zhi Nian’s slightly narrowed eyes somehow fully opened. This time the breathing became a bit deeper, a bit faster, as if a flame inside the body had been ignited and was slowly beginning to burn.
The slightly reddened corners of the eyes, the blood-red pupils covered in a thin layer of water mist, not very clear to see the flow of emotions at this moment, yet as if encompassing all kinds of complex emotions inside.
The only thing I could perceive was that the focus of her gaze was no longer the quilt under her, but… me.
Hazy, soft and fluffy, carrying a bit of ambiguous meaning that was hard to describe.
Just like having been poured a cup of wine, and also like having been under the sun for a whole day. The eyes were soft as half-melted sugar.
Silently locking eyes with Zhi Nian for a moment, I suddenly realized that I seemed to have stroked too far.
My hand was still placed on her waist. No, to be precise it should be a bit further down from the waist. Zhi Nian’s tail grew out from here. The sensory organs in that area were more sensitive than elsewhere. Her reaction just now had already explained everything.
Realizing that this kind of action was not very appropriate—online many catgirls had shared their life experiences; this kind of position’s stroking was usually limited only to the private intimate relationship of lovers.
I wanted to withdraw the hand, but Zhi Nian suddenly turned over and pressed down on my elbow.
She faced toward me, raising the small face covered by messy strands of hair. Those still mist-covered red eyes stared straight at me.
Then she extended a hand and clenched my collar.
The force was not large, but the degree of the fingers curling was very tight.
Tight as if afraid I would suddenly run away.
“Gu Fan…”
“Mm?”
“I finally know what you are thinking.”
The words carried the soft and fluffy aftertaste from just now, but the hidden subtext within was different.
Under the shallow thin ice, undercurrents surged.
“Just now, were you wanting to dodge me again?”
I froze once.
“You have always been dodging. Starting from a very long time ago it has been like this. Saying nothing, asking nothing, doing nothing. I have already opened everything to you, yet you still firmly guard the boundary line, unwilling to cross one step. Do you think that way you won’t ‘hurt’ me?”
The hand clenching the collar slightly used force. I obediently was pulled leaning toward Zhi Nian.
“Have you thought that you hanging me like this doing nothing is actually the most hurtful?”
“Every night I am thinking how to take a further step with you. I don’t want to be limited to this ambiguous unclear relationship. But my courage is too small. I don’t dare speak first to confess. Always thinking that continuing ambiguous like this, one day Gu Fan you will ultimately be unable to hold back and make a move on me. At that time we can naturally get married and have a baby, then grow old together until the end of our white hairs, hehe.”
When Zhi Nian spoke these words, the expression was very calm.