“I really don’t have the luck for games like this.”
It was the umpteenth time Bai Qiu had said that.
He’d gotten completely crushed in yesterday’s fan Mahjong tournament.
He hadn’t taken first place in a single round, and the more he played, the more worked up he got.
By the time the stream ended, he’d spent nearly 100,000.
Luckily, plenty of people had been drawn in by the money he was giving away.
With so many viewers, he’d received quite a few gifts and recovered a good chunk of his losses.
It was basically like spending some money to get himself back to number one on the whole site and trending again.
It was worth mentioning that “Do You Need a Reason to Love Bai Qiu?” had been there too, but maybe the lesson had sunk in, because this time she hadn’t showered him with gifts like money was no object.
Bai Qiu was quite pleased.
Bai Qiu titled the stream and started today’s broadcast.
Today’s segment was the Emotional Radio Segment, something he’d decided on before ending yesterday’s stream.
He’d also promoted it in a post, and his inbox had already filled with submissions from fans.
It was called an emotional radio segment, but there was no rule that submissions had to be little stories about romance.
Most of the viewers had sent in bizarre little stories instead.
Including, but not limited to:
The Unusual Wind-Essence Battle———A dormitory with eight absolute weirdos.
One summer, someone had the bright idea that an ordinary water fight was too boring, and suggested using medicated oil instead, since it’d feel cooler on their skin.
The others didn’t even think twice before going out and buying a huge pile of it.
In the end, all eight of them wound up in the hospital.
The incident even made the news.
The Origin of the Haters on iBai TV———This was a proxy submission.
It told the story of someone who got into FX after watching Bai Qiu’s livestreams, and ended up losing all their savings.
Later, they managed to save up some money, and because they liked Bai Qiu’s animation commentary, they bought equipment and taught themselves video editing before diving headfirst into the animation category.
They ended up going hungry nine days out of ten.
After a series of other events, they eventually became a Bai Qiu hater, dedicated to deep-reading every line in his videos and streams to stir up trouble.
Incidentally, he stirred up trouble over this episode’s clips too.
Only CCB Can Save Humanity———A deranged stream of consciousness from the 420989 livestream.
The whole thing was riddled with contradictions and incoherent logic, with the left brain attacking the right and the brain refuting the cerebellum, among other problems.
And yet, it made people ponder the meaning of life, drawing them into a spiral of Nihilism and Existentialism, before finally arriving at the astonishing conclusion that only CCB could save humanity.
All in all, this program had now become almost indistinguishable from a Monster-Spawner Enclosure.
All it needed was for another Pokémon to spawn one day and leave everyone amazed.
“To keep the surprise, I haven’t read a single one.”
Bai Qiu opened a random number generator website.
“Let’s get right to it. Random number between zero and twenty.”
It landed on 7.
Bai Qiu opened the seventh submission from the bottom, counting from yesterday’s stream ending to today’s starting time.
[So you’re counting backward.]
[Who counts backward like that?]
[He always finds a way to be entertaining in the most unexpected places.]
Bai Qiu started reading the first submission.
“「Hello, Bai Qiu-qiu. This is a story that’s been troubling me a little.」”
“「I have a few friends, whom I’ll call A, B, C, and D from here on.」”
“「We’ve all fallen for the same person.」”
“??”
Bai Qiu couldn’t help leaning closer to the screen.
He had to get a good look at this.
“「A is a rather shy girl, the most dependable one, and the backbone of our group. There’s no doubt she’s a lovable girl. She likes us very much, and we all like her very much too.」”
“「B is a clever girl. We’ve managed to keep going on many occasions thanks to her intelligence. She’s always cherished us, and we’re glad to have a friend like her.」”
“「C is a rather mischievous girl. Though she’s playful, she’s always the first to lend a hand when we run into trouble. She’s a good-hearted girl who isn’t very honest about her feelings but loves to help others.」”
“「D isn’t the most noticeable, but she’s incredibly hardworking. She’s always working hard for herself and everyone else. If she got hurt, I’d be very sad too.」”
“「We’re irreplaceable friends, but now we’ve had no choice but to become rivals competing for the same person.」”
“「So we made some rules. Within those rules, we’d each use our own methods to win that person’s heart. Only the first person to make him confess would be allowed to date him, and we agreed not to cheat and to accept the results with grace.」”
“「Since we’re such good friends, I shouldn’t have joined in.」”
“「But, but, but.」”
“「I just can’t control myself.」”
“「When I think about how he could look at me all the time, how I could act spoiled around him, how we could become family, I can’t help competing for him. I can’t help falling for him.」”
“「I know I’ll definitely win.」”
“「But I don’t want my friends to be sad either. They’re all good girls, and they shouldn’t have to get hurt over this.」”
“「Bai Qiu-qiu, what should I do so I can date him without hurting my friends?」”
After reading the submission, Bai Qiu couldn’t help falling into thought.
“…Bro, no, sis. I mean, is that person really so great that you’d go this far? If you ask me, you all get along so well that you should just date each other.”
[Why does this story feel so familiar?]
[I’m unconditionally in favor of Yuri.]
[I support lesbians.]
[Boring. I want Yuri, Corruption, darkening, and girls pulling each other’s hair!]
“Let’s look at this rationally. Rationally.”
Bai Qiu pressed his temples and gathered his thoughts.
“You want a way to date that person without hurting your friends? I can tell you very clearly that it’s impossible. If you really want to win, you’ll have to give up on the idea that no one can get hurt.”
“That’s youth for you. Sometimes, someone has to get hurt.”
“If you really want my advice, then I think the only option is to let that person have a Harem.”
[What kind of terrible relationship advice is that?]
[That’s not advice. That’s a roadmap to becoming the prison boss.]
[I must’ve lost my mind. I actually thought Bai Qiu might have some good advice.]
“What are you talking about? How does that make him the prison boss?”
Bai Qiu rolled his eyes.
“Isn’t that a good idea? Her friends won’t be sad, and she won’t lose. Most importantly, the person they like will receive five people’s affection at once. As a man, wouldn’t that make him ecstatic? Honestly, that’s the peak of life. How is that not a win-win-win?”
Bai Qiu gave a mocking smile.
“Do you people even understand men? You bunch of virgin lolicons.”
[Is this loli even human?]
[Could a Magical Girl say something like that?]
[How do you know so much about men?]
100 SC: [Pure Love is obviously better than a Harem. The most beautiful love is the kind that overcomes countless obstacles and reaches a happy ending!]
“Kid, could you stop making your Bai-sis laugh? Is Pure Love better than a Harem? And who says a Harem can’t be Pure Love? Do you understand men better than your Bai-sis?”
[Harem Pure Love? That’s a pretty niche term.]
[Still as shameless as ever, still convinced she knows everything.]
[People who’ve never experienced love naturally don’t understand the greatness of Pure Love.]
[People who’ve been beaten up by love only know that a Harem is the way to go.]
[Am I the only one who thinks NTR is better?]
“Keep talking tough, all of you. It’s your own fault you’ll never find a partner and have to come to your Bai-sis’s stream to act crazy and talk tough.”
“Li Ai!”
While Bai Qiu was arguing with the chat, four little girls barged into Li Ai’s room without even knocking.
They all knew it had to be Li Ai’s submission.
They could tell at a glance, even with the names changed.
“Oh my, what’s wrong, everyone?”
Li Ai smiled innocently.
“What if the teacher finds out!”
Jiu said anxiously.
“How could he? He’s the teacher, after all.”
She’d only dared to send in a submission because she was completely confident.
“That was so sneaky, meow.”
Shang Mengyou glared at Li Ai indignantly.
“You actually confessed to the teacher like that, meow. So underhanded, meow!”
“Damn it, I should’ve sent one in too…!”
Xilalite clenched her fists in frustration.
“That’s not being sneaky. It’s making reasonable use of every advantage.”
“That was quite clever, Li Ai.”
Alice smiled elegantly.
“If I’d known you were so direct, I would’ve been bolder too.”
Li Ai tilted her head slightly.
“So it seems little Alice sent in a submission to the teacher too.”
“Of course. It was such a good opportunity. I couldn’t let it pass me by.”
“Then I’ll be looking forward to it.”
The two smiled at each other as they faced off, invisible sparks crackling in the air between them.
“Those two are so sneaky…!”
“Why didn’t I think of that…”
Jiu murmured dejectedly.
However…
Even by the end of the stream, Alice’s submission still hadn’t been picked.
“…”
Alice stared blankly at the stream-ended screen on her computer.
She couldn’t believe it.
There had only been 36 submissions in total, and Bai Qiu had read 30 of them, yet hers still hadn’t been picked.
Li Ai smiled at her with pity and affection, then patted her head as if declaring her victory.
The others could only look at the day’s winner with envy.
Today’s results:
Nikaido Ria wins.
Current score:
Nikaido Ria (3)
Alice Deloise (2)
Shirarito Akaosu (1)
Ri Bai Jiu (1)
Shang Mengyou (0)
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