Chapter 57: Return to the Shopping Center

“How was your day off the day before yesterday?”

It would’ve been great—if you hadn’t shown up in front of me.

I really wanted to say that, but seeing Shiratori’s dazzling, sun-bright smile and sensing the curious gazes of our classmates around us, I swallowed the words back down and just responded with a soft hum through my nose.

The question that had been bugging me during my shift at the maid x cat café last night was still unanswered, and Shiratori’s sudden appearance only added to the mess in my head.

Even a hopelessly dense girl like me could pick up the implied meaning in Shiratori’s words.

Tch…

I really don’t like being pressured by anyone other than Gu Fan.

It feels like I owe them something, and I hate that feeling.

Narrowing my eyes, I shot her a look that wasn’t exactly friendly, hoping she’d get the hint and back off.

But she just smiled, her eyes curving cheerfully, as if she hadn’t noticed even a trace of my hostility.

“As long as you’re feeling okay, that’s what matters. Hey, during the break, why don’t we take a walk through the botanical garden? I’ll come get you later. Everyone’s looking forward to the intel you’ve got~”

She didn’t even give me a chance to reply—just tacked on the invitation and darted off with a mischievous grin.

I’d just been… threatened.

But then I imagined Gu Fan receiving some weird, random gift on his birthday…

I shook my head.

Even if I wanted to put up a tough front, deep down, I had already accepted her invitation.

Staring at Shiratori’s bouncy, energetic figure disappearing down the hallway, I let out a long sigh.

I was kind of envious… but if I’m honest, there was more wariness than admiration.

I was happy at first when we became friends, but eventually I realized we barely interacted beyond surface-level niceties.

No, it’s worse than that.

Shiratori’s goal had always been Gu Fan.

I was just a stepping stone—someone she approached because I was close to him.

Once I realized that, I did some research online.

Now, I had a decent idea of how to handle girls like her.

No need to start a fight—just stake your claim.

I clenched my fists, and my cat ears perked up high with renewed vigor.

The phrase full of fighting spirit probably described my current state of mind pretty well.

* * * * *

“Mhm, Gu Fan, drive safe, okay?”

I watched him ride off with a smile, but my mood slowly plummeted into a slump.

A few days ago, I’d always gone home after school in high spirits, but today felt unusually heavy.

Maybe it was because I’d already anticipated that the rest of the day would be a downer, so when I’d been on the motorcycle earlier, I’d leaned in closer to Gu Fan—quietly, sneakily—trying to absorb his warmth and fill the emptiness inside me with a sense of safety.

I’d tried not to make a sound as I breathed in that indescribable mix of his scent—something hormonal and masculine—blended with the fresh fragrance of shampoo wafting from his hair.

Ugh, I’m acting like a total creep…

Nope.

Not gonna think about it anymore.

Standing beside a familiar landmark, I dazed out for a bit before slowly heading toward the shopping center.

That chat with Shiratori during the break, as expected, was all about Gu Fan’s interests.

I wasn’t really sure what exactly he liked, so I just described him based on my own impressions.

I thought I’d be off the hook after that… but then Shiratori invited me to go shopping for Gu Fan’s birthday gift after school.

“So annoying… if only I could just skip out on this.”

I couldn’t figure out her real intention.

Was she trying to subtly one-up me or push me out of the way?

I mean, I already told her everything I knew.

My thoughts swarmed like mosquitoes buzzing in the bushes by the roadside—noisy, aimless, and totally chaotic.

Maybe because I had nowhere to unload all this agitation, by the time I finally calmed down, I realized I’d nearly reached the shopping center.

My legs ached from walking so fast—probably because I’d been subconsciously speeding up while lost in thought.

Ding-dong~

My phone chimed.

I glanced at the screen.

A message from Shiratori.

She was already waiting by the side entrance of the shopping center—right next to the big tree where I’d waited for Gu Fan just a couple of days ago.

What a coincidence…

I turned off the screen and caught a glimpse of my own reflection in the darkened glass, sunlight glinting off it just enough to show the indifferent downturn of my lips.

Hmm…

I should try to look a little more cheerful.

Even if Gu Fan wasn’t here, I still wanted to carry myself with proper manners and posture—look put together, inside and out.

Digging around in the corners of my mind, I realized I had been provoked by Shiratori.

It’d been a while since I’d felt this kind of competitive spark.

I didn’t want to lose to her.

This is my choice. It’s not for Gu Fan.

Let’s not mess up the order of things.

Giving myself a mental slap on the wrist, I brushed my hair behind one ear, stamped my feet lightly for balance, then finally stepped toward the side entrance.

“Here, over here! I’m here!”

I followed the sound and found Shiratori looking straight at me.

Once she saw that I’d noticed her, she cheerfully waved both arms, beckoning me over.

Her behavior was overly animated, but somehow it didn’t come across as annoying or impolite.

As a bystander, even I had to admit—this bubbly, energetic girl was far more charming than someone like me, who wore a cold, expressionless face like a sheet of ice.

After all…

I couldn’t smile so freely at anyone other than Gu Fan.

It always felt like if I let my guard down, someone would use it against me, mock me for it.

Looks like I still have a lot to learn. In every area, I seem to fall behind.

I stood there frozen for a moment, then quietly tucked Shiratori’s girlish energy away in a corner of my mind—something to study, maybe—before walking toward her with as much lightness in my steps as I could manage.

The moment I reached her, she beamed and handed me a small bag.

I recognized it from earlier—it had been resting on the bench under the tree.

Peeking inside, I saw a cup of mango milk tea.

It was still warm to the touch.

“Here you go! I bought this for you.”

She really is a lot like Gu Fan.

So considerate and thoughtful.

Being with someone like her must be so easy… no second-guessing, no awkward silences—just an effortless mutual understanding.

My gaze lingered on the milk tea, unmoving.

In the back of my mind, something dark and tangled began to stir.

So frustrating. So suffocating.

And yet—I couldn’t even tell why.

It felt like something filthy had clogged my heart, like there was grime stuck inside my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Ever since graduating elementary school, no one had ever physically hit me again—but the number of times I’d been hit by anxiety or melancholy?

That number just kept growing.

The older I got, the easier it became for these overwhelming tsunamis of emotion to rise up and drown me.

Even if it was just a stranger glancing my way, my brain would instantly spiral.

I’d dissect every possible reason for their gaze, filter out anything remotely positive, and then take all the darkest, most extreme possibilities—stitch them together until they formed a massive black beast, one capable of blotting out the sun.

I was still holding the milk tea but hadn’t taken it out of the bag.

Shiratori didn’t seem to notice my change in mood.

She was too busy talking to herself as she headed toward the second floor.

“I asked around just now—they said the camera shop is upstairs. Let’s go!”

“…Okay.”