Although I managed to rein in my increasingly deranged fantasies just in time, I still honestly felt I needed to spend more time with Gu Fan.
Only three years left…
Even if I can’t compare to the other girls, I still want to create more fun memories with Gu Fan.
I’ve tried so many times to be generous—to share Gu Fan with his other friends who are funnier and more charming than me.
But deep down, it’s always left a bitter taste. I’m not willing to just hand him over like that.
So, I decided to come up with more fun things for us to do together.
I want to be the one who brings him joy—not anyone else.
Ding-ling-ling~
Before I realized it, we were already in the last class of the day.
When the bell rang, I slowly exhaled the stale air from my lungs and downed half the water from my thermos.
Better rest a bit.
Once school’s over, I’ll go find Gu Fan.
Ever since I ran into Shiratori in the cafeteria that day, I haven’t dared ask Gu Fan to have lunch with me again.
But this time, I’m gathering my courage to ask him to eat with just me.
My plan to monopolize Gu Fan starts now.
I’m fully prepared—for the next three years, I’ll cling to him constantly. Even if I have to talk to other people to do it, I’ll make that sacrifice.
With my goal set, the chaotic thoughts that had been fluttering in my head were pulled back down by a heavy gravity.
They sank quietly into the soil of my battered inner world, becoming nutrients for the heartland they had ravaged.
And then came the drowsiness—so thick it was almost like fog.
It clouded my eyes, blurred my vision, and crept into my consciousness like creeping ivy, settling into a tangled root system of rainbow-colored sleepiness.
I finally felt calm—or rather, I realized I’d been running on overdrive this whole time.
I glanced at the blackboard.
I still remembered the content up there, so I didn’t need to pay attention again.
Alright then… just a short nap.
I can’t afford to be a brain-dead mess later when I’m trying to make conversation with Gu Fan.
I don’t want to just fumble through it with ‘mm-hmm’ and ‘uh-huh’.
I blinked a few times, my hazy vision struggling to clear.
Then, without resistance, I collapsed onto the desk—sinking into the mist, completely losing my bearings.
* * * * *
“Gu Fan? Can you talk to me for a bit? Please don’t just stare at your phone all the time.”
“…Later. I have something to take care of.”
It was a room I’d never seen before, but someone familiar was inside it—Gu Fan.
He sat there, fixated on his phone, not sparing me even a glance.
“What is it? Can’t you tell me at least? You’re always hiding things from me…”
“Don’t get in the way.”
“……”
Was that supposed to be a joke?
Gu Fan would never say something that cruel to me… right?
“We’ve known each other for so many years, and this is the first time you’ve spoken to me like that…”
Tears fell from my eyes before I could stop them.
My voice trembled with bitterness, and I had to grit my teeth just to keep it steady.
But Gu Fan didn’t even try to comfort me.
He kept tapping away at his phone like he was messaging someone else.
As soon as he finished, he stood up and walked toward the door.
“I’ve got something to do. Stay home and be good, alright?”
Heh… what am I, your pet?
Just supposed to stay home and behave?
I wanted to snap back at him, but my throat was too dry.
The words wouldn’t come.
All I could do was watch him leave—he didn’t even bother looking back as he shut the door behind him.
It felt so unfair.
I wanted to know what could possibly take Gu Fan away from me like that.
Was it some important matter?
Or… another woman?
If it’s the latter, then I guess I’ll have to use special methods.
A disobedient man… needs to be locked up.
Clutching that dangerous thought, I staggered to my feet, bracing myself against the wall, then pulled the door open and ran out.
Mngu…?
So noisy…
Footsteps, bells, conversations, and the rustling of bags being packed—those noises mixed together like some chaotic stew and slammed into my hypersensitive hearing, jarring me awake with a wave of nausea in my chest.
Woken up… again.
I kind of hate how sensitive I am to the sound of the school bell.
Rubbing my dazed cheeks, I sat up and looked around the classroom while taking slow, small sips from my thermos.
Didn’t sleep well—probably because I woke up too suddenly.
Plus, staying up all night didn’t help. If only I could drag Gu Fan back home to nap with me…
Forget lunch—sleeping properly is more important than skipping a meal.
Still groggy, I stared at the clock beside the blackboard, sighing at how little time there was left.
I downed the rest of the water in one gulp, grabbed my almost-empty bag, and hurried toward the bathroom.
First, take care of my bodily needs. Then I’ll go wait for Gu Fan outside his classroom.
I don’t want to end up having an accident just because I got too nervous…
And also, it gives me some buffer time—to think about whether I really just dreamed something outrageous.
I vaguely remember something about… locking up Gu Fan?
Probably a muddled memory.
I’m not that kind of awful woman—there’s no need to go to such extremes.
The thoughts I had this morning were all over the place, and after the nap, most of them had faded.
I could barely recall why I was even thinking like that, or what kind of emotions I had felt at the time.
Now I finally understand those posts online about what it feels like to stay up all night—my brain definitely feels duller, more sluggish.
It’s like I unconsciously walked myself straight into all sorts of extreme scenarios, inventing imaginary enemies out of nowhere.
After taking care of business, I cheerfully washed my hands and pulled out the small mirror I always carried with me.
Hmph~
Nothing strange on my face, and my hair’s not messy either.
Just a plain old ponytail.
After confirming there was nothing wrong with how I looked, I walked out of the bathroom and picked up the pace toward Gu Fan’s classroom.
I did dawdle a bit…
I hope he hasn’t already slipped away.
Nervousness urged my steps to quicken as I fixed my eyes on the classroom at the far end of the corridor, scanning each figure emerging from it one by one.
Just as I was about to reach the classroom door, a familiar figure stepped out.
His slightly long hair was neatly tied back into a small wolf-tail at the nape of his neck.
His amber eyes, calm and gentle like flowing water, gazed straight ahead, unshaken by the presence of anyone around him.
The moment the person I’d been yearning to see since yesterday finally appeared, my heart soared and hung suspended in midair.
My throat tightened.
I wanted to say something, but no words would come.
Too absorbed in watching Gu Fan and thinking about what to say, I didn’t realize my feet hadn’t stopped moving.
Before I knew it, I had already dashed up to him and grabbed the hem of his shirt without even thinking.
“Gu Fan…”
“What’s wrong?”
My sudden approach caught Gu Fan off guard. He looked at me, stunned, and then gently wrapped one arm around my waist.
But because there were still other students nearby, he didn’t do anything more than that.
Tilting my head slightly to meet his lowered gaze, I saw the moment our eyes met—like a pebble dropping into a still lake, ripples spread outward, and in the trembling surface, I caught the blurred reflection of myself.
“Gu Fan… I missed you.”
I said it in a whisper, barely audible, clutching tightly to the hem of his shirt.
Even though I’d longed to fall into his arms, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I just… couldn’t.