Sweet… really… so sweet.
Silent words drifted across my heart, endlessly describing the sensation brought by that single bite of dried mango.
In truth, my not-so-normal taste buds only detected a faint salty-sandy texture from the sugar coating, and the mango’s natural sweetness. That alone shouldn’t have been enough to stir my heart.
But after being fed so gently by Gu Fan, my chest felt like a flower watered by a gardener—its nectar-filled petals quietly unfurling.
To put it simply, perhaps this is what people mean when they say “sweet to the heart.”
The moment the dried mango entered my mouth, my heart thudded with strength, and my lungs seemed filled with a strange energy, as though someone was pumping me full of air that made me feel giddy and excited.
Despite the storm of feelings inside, I forced myself to maintain an air of composure and dignity.
Only the cat ears atop my head betrayed me, twitching happily with each bite of fruit—almost rhythmically. If Gu Fan noticed, he would definitely tease me for it…
Just the thought made me anxious for no reason. The corners of my lips sank slightly, and the bubbling energy in my chest seemed to gush out through a huge crack, draining away.
If self-sabotage were a science, I’d have already won a Nobel Prize. Moments ago, I was brimming with joy, and now I’m sulking again.
Seriously… can’t I just learn to enjoy myself? At such a wonderful time, why am I still worrying about pointless things?
So what if Gu Fan teases me? Isn’t that actually a good thing? It could even help deepen our relationship…
That’s what I thought at first, but once I seriously imagined the scene of Gu Fan tugging at my cat ears while laughing mischievously, I immediately started doubting myself.
How should I put it… I think I still hope Gu Fan can treat me with a little more seriousness. I don’t want to be just a kitty toy for him to mess around with, or a pet. No matter how special a catgirl is, at the core, she’s still a person.
If I were a girl who was content with whatever life gave me, maybe I could accept being the pet of a boy as dazzling as sunlight.
Just having the chance to get close to him would already be a huge blessing for me.
Back when I was really, really young, and also during the time in middle school when Gu Fan and I cut ties, those were the grayest periods of my life so far.
Strangely enough, it wasn’t like I was bullied by my peers, and others didn’t treat me any differently compared to other times.
But as long as Gu Fan wasn’t present in my life, it felt like the whole world was suddenly covered in a gray filter—dull and unbearably boring.
Most of those memories are dim and blurry. Deep down, I don’t think they’re worth remembering, so I subconsciously just ignored them.
Even now, if I try to force myself to recall them, I’d probably sit there all day and still not come up with much.
Not long ago, while reading other girls’ shared life experiences online, I saw many passionately warning their “sisters” not to become slaves to love. They said we must protect our dignity and interests, fight for our own happiness, and so on.
When I read those, I wrestled with myself for a long time. I can understand their intentions and reasoning, but for me… being with Gu Fan is more important than status, honor, wealth, or even the supreme freedom everyone talks about.
In a sense, being “imprisoned” by Gu Fan could actually be called a kind of happiness. At the very least, it means he’s willing to interact with me.
Hehe… If there’s a downside, maybe it’s just that I can’t control him.
If I were to write down my thoughts and post them online, those other girls would probably look down on me… Sorry, I really am just that selfish and not very smart of a girl.
If only my ambitions weren’t so big. If I could calmly accept the fact that I’m just an ordinary girl, maybe I wouldn’t be so anxious, overthinking all sorts of pointless things right now.
Once greedy desires take root, the cost only piles up higher and higher. I don’t even know how to balance it anymore—it just feels more and more out of my control.
“How about it? Want another bite?”
The dried mango swayed in front of my eyes. I snapped back to my senses, my blurred vision suddenly focusing on the fruit, and the fog clouding my mind cleared away.
Ugh… why did I space out again…
If I just sit frozen like that for too long, once I exceed the “patience threshold” in Gu Fan’s mind, he’ll definitely think the situation has gotten awkward.
Luckily, since my thoughts usually revolve around him, my brain sometimes works pretty fast—I didn’t end up keeping him waiting too long.
Once I reconnected with reality, it was as if that invisible membrane wrapped around me shattered. Air flowed in again, my skin could feel the currents of it brushing past.
I shifted my gaze from the dried mango to Gu Fan’s eyes. He was calmly staring at my face—I had no idea what he was thinking.
“Um… this dried mango is pretty good. Please let me have another bite.”
Though my taste buds aren’t that great—if you asked me to judge food as delicious or not, that would be doing food a disservice. No, I should say it’d be an insult.
I don’t have the talent to be a gourmet, but I can still sense some of the basic flavors. For example, the sweetness in this dried mango—it’s pretty amazing from an objective standpoint.
It should count as a passable piece of dried fruit, right?
After hearing what I said, Gu Fan’s brows relaxed, and the corners of his lips curved into a pleasant smile.
I stared blankly at him, watching as he slowly moved that piece of mango—one I had already bitten a little—toward my mouth… The edges still had my teeth marks, and it even glistened faintly with moisture.
I obediently parted my lips, waiting for Gu Fan to feed me. But then—
Gu Fan suddenly pulled his hand back. In my stunned gaze, he brought it to his own mouth instead, and took a bite right where I had eaten.
“Mmm… sweet. The taste really is pretty good.”
He chewed that piece of mango I had just eaten—still carrying a trace of my saliva—with an utterly calm expression.
He even made a serious little comment on the flavor, showing not a shred of embarrassment. Instead, it was me who began to feel restless in my seat.
“Gu Fan, don’t bully me…”
“Bully? This doesn’t count as bullying, does it?”
He chuckled softly and once again held the mango toward me.
After two bites, what remained was just enough to pop into one’s mouth.
“Here, my dear childhood sweetheart. Won’t tell me you’re feeling shy now, are you?”
Gu Fan tilted his head, his mischievous grin in my eyes twisting into the wicked smile of a demon. A sinister shadow stretched from the ground, wrapping around me.
At that same moment, a sudden surge of desire bloomed deep in my heart. Under the clash of my inner and outer feelings, I instinctively stepped forward—and actively closed my lips around those slender fingers holding the mango.