The sensitive cat ears were being gently rubbed, and through the fine fur covering them, I could clearly feel the lines of Gu Fan’s palm.
It tickled… yet at the same time, it filled me with a sense of warmth and fullness.
I pressed my lips tightly together, desperately trying not to make strange sounds, but the corners of my eyes still brimmed with tears from the overwhelming excitement. They clung there, trembling, about to fall.
It couldn’t be helped… I wasn’t the kind of girl who cried easily, nor was I fragile inside. If blame had to be placed, then it was this body’s overly sensitive nature, acting on its own and displaying all sorts of weak reactions.
Deep inside, I stubbornly thought this way—but in reality, I still allowed Gu Fan to continue stroking my cat ears without resistance.
After all… it felt so comfortable.
I obediently leaned into his palm, rubbing against it slightly. With my eyes closed, I savored the feeling for quite a while.
Only when Gu Fan finally stopped did I slowly open my eyes, forcing the silly smile from my lips back into the usual indifferent expression.
“How about it? Did that give you some confidence?”
“Mm… yes, I feel confident now.”
I answered with a bright, lively tone, straightening my back that had bent from too much comfort, and nodded repeatedly to emphasize my current state.
That said, I still couldn’t help feeling a little reluctant. The tingling sensation from my cat ears flowed through my entire body like water, leaving behind traces that hadn’t yet faded, continuing to provide me with a subtle, indescribable pleasure.
So this… is what they mean by wanting more, even after it ends?
I chuckled a few times under my breath. Luckily, I had deliberately kept the volume low, so Gu Fan only gave me a puzzled glance before turning his gaze toward the nearby classroom windows.
We were on the floor closest to the rooftop. Because the classrooms had been arranged for exam seating, there was no one inside at the moment, though the clock was still ticking away.
“Five minutes left. Let’s stay here for a little longer.”
Leaning against the wall, Gu Fan turned to face me.
“Can you tell me? About the unhappy things that happened to you while I wasn’t around?”
Stunned by his straightforward question, my mouth opened slightly, but I quickly averted my gaze, letting it drift aimlessly across the surroundings. Inside, I was torn.
Would telling Gu Fan about these things even help?
Sure, there was a good chance he’d respond with sympathy. But what if, in that small chance, he actually disliked hearing about complicated family problems?
He was the kind of person who wouldn’t show those thoughts openly, so I couldn’t be certain whether he would secretly look down on me and my mother.
“Uh… it’s nothing really, just had a fight with my mom. Nothing serious.”
After thinking it over, I decided to blur the truth and use this chance to test his attitude.
“Arguments with family, huh…”
Gu Fan folded his arms across his chest, his amber eyes slowly shifting upward. At first, he had been staring at my feet as they kept tapping nervously on the floor, but now his gaze lifted to rest on my face.
I stiffened, determined not to let a trace of the tangled emotions in my heart leak through.
After looking me over for a moment, Gu Fan seemed to have arrived at his own answer.
“After the flower market… could I come to your house for a visit?”
Hearing that, my legs almost gave out from shock. I had to take a deep breath before I could steady myself.
“…Eh? R-really? You actually want to come? Are you sure?” I asked back with a trembling voice.
I truly hadn’t expected Gu Fan to want to come over. Normally, when someone knows a friend of the opposite sex has family troubles at home—especially when there are already deep conflicts and distance between them—they’d choose to avoid the situation, right?
But why… when it came to Gu Fan, he did the opposite, almost half-insistently demanding that I allow him to visit.
I’m a girl who loves to daydream. The instant I heard Gu Fan say he wanted to come, I was first shocked, then left completely filled with joy.
Could it be… that Gu Fan might really be the savior I used to imagine in my fantasies? Or maybe I’m just dreaming?
I secretly pinched the flesh on my thigh—ouch! The pain made me bare my teeth. Looks like this really is reality.
The black-haired boy standing before me, still watching me with that flawless smile, made everything feel dreamy… yet real.
“Of course,” he said lightly. “I just mean a simple visit, nothing too formal. Keep it natural, I’ll only stay for a short while.”
“If Gu Fan wants to come…” I smiled faintly. “I’ll definitely welcome you. There’s no way I could just brush you off casually.”
As I said those words, the surge of excitement inside me slowly faded away, replaced by a faint feeling of self-blame.
Why am I always this quick to let down my guard? Hadn’t I already decided, just a few days ago, that I needed to…
Keeping the matter hidden and trying to resolve it alone—was that really the right thing to do? And now that I’ve dragged Gu Fan into it, what exactly am I hoping for?
As I kept questioning my own heart, I knew the answer was obvious. I just couldn’t accept how quickly the walls of my defenses had collapsed.
A woman like me… if Gu Fan were to grant me even the chance to wag my tail and beg for his affection, I might truly debase myself like a shameless cat.
My awareness of where my bottom line lies has once again shifted further than I expected.
Forget it. Since things have already come this far, I can only go along with it.
“Hmph, well then, I suppose I’ll just accept it gratefully.”
Gu Fan shrugged, showing not the slightest resistance as he accepted.
I secretly let out a long breath of relief, my heart thumping like a restless little deer, brimming with joy.
“So then, should we head to the flower market first, or go home first?”
As a girl aspiring to be a good wife and wise mother, I naturally need to handle all aspects of daily life properly—laying out a clear, orderly plan. A clumsy, scatterbrained woman isn’t worthy of being liked.
“Let’s go to the flower market first. We can buy a potted plant for Auntie as a gift. Zhinian, you should be the one to pick it.”
“Mm… is that so…”
I originally wanted to refuse. After all, I really don’t know what kind of flowers my mother likes. Ever since my parents divorced, she has rarely shown any personal preferences.
As for the long time ago, back before my father’s affair… I think those choices might not have even been her real interests.
Most of the things she bought back then suited my father’s tastes more than her own, and very few reflected what she truly wanted.
From this perspective, my mother and I really are quite alike. Is this what they call heredity? Somehow, it doesn’t feel like a good thing.
If only my personality were more normal, more cheerful, I could openly and confidently stand in the sunlight and date Gu Fan.
Instead of like now—constantly worrying about when I might be kicked out of the house by my mother, forced to rent a place in embarrassment and struggle to live independently.
After chatting idly for a little while longer, the sound of the broadcast rang out, echoing through the teaching building.
“Alright, do your best on the exam, hang in there just a little longer. After it’s over, I’ll take you out for a nice lunch, and then send you home to get some rest.”
Gu Fan spoke as he took the lead, walking toward the stairwell and laying out the rough plan for the day.
I silently nodded, occasionally letting out a soft “mm” in response.
As expected… the only one who can truly heal me is Gu Fan…
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