Chapter 132: He is My Gu Fan

My originally light footsteps became heavy the moment my mother looked at me.

I paused for a moment, suppressing the impulse to turn my head toward my mother, and forced myself to keep walking toward the entrance.

“Dressed up so beautifully—who are you going to meet?”

As expected… no one understands a woman better than another woman. My unusually refined outfit, so different from my usual style, immediately aroused my mother’s suspicion.

Since only the two of us were present, I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t heard her words. I had no choice but to stop, turn properly to face her, and answer.

“I’m going to the flower market with a friend. Is there a problem with that?”

“A friend? Are you sure it’s really just a friend?”

So annoying. Just responding a little is already the limit of my patience—why does she have to keep pressing the matter?

I furrowed my brows. The sweater that was already tight against my chest made it even harder to breathe.

“So what if it’s not a friend? Whoever I want to go to the flower market with, I’ll go. If you care so much, why don’t you just come with me and see for yourself? Nagging on and on like some old lady on the street—what’s the difference?”

After replying coldly, I lowered my eyelids and carefully studied my mother. Seeing her face remain as calm and still as deep water, seemingly unaffected by my words, I felt a little disappointed.

I had thought my words might make her ashamed and angry—or that maybe she would actually be willing to spend some time and effort to accompany me to the flower market.…But clearly, when it comes to hiding her true feelings, she’s still far better than I am.

Sharp words aren’t really my hobby anyway. The negative emotions I wanted to vent are already spoken.

As for how my mother would reply, I had little interest in knowing.

I just went straight to the entrance, slipped on the new little leather boots I had bought recently, tied the laces, and pulled on the handle of the front door.

“Clack, clack—”

The bolt made a few dull noises, but the door did not open as smoothly as I had expected. It was locked from inside.

Having long been used to living alone at home, I didn’t react right away. I stood frozen for quite a while before realizing that it was my mother’s doing.

Feeling slightly anxious, I didn’t rush to confront her. Instead, I first searched near the entrance for the key I had placed there.

It was gone. Most likely, my mother had taken it away.

The front door of this house is a bit unusual: once it’s locked, it can only be opened with the key. There’s no other way.

That meant I was, in the truest sense, placed under house arrest by my mother… Not like the few days before exams, when she only sat in the living room to monitor me.

My eyes narrowed dangerously. I faintly heard footsteps behind me, but I didn’t turn to look. I kept my gaze fixed on the dark brown door in front of me.

“Do you find this kind of thing amusing?” I asked.

My mother spoke calmly:
“During the exam days, I didn’t want to give you pressure, so I didn’t lock the door. You behaved well then—didn’t sneak out while I wasn’t watching. But now that the exams are over, it’s about time you cut off your relationship with your boyfriend.”

“…Boyfriend? Who told you he was my boyfriend? He’s just someone I’m closer with, that’s all.”

Being mistaken for already being in a boyfriend–girlfriend relationship with Gu Fan—logically speaking, I should have felt happy.

But in this situation, I strangely felt as if my mother was using it to humiliate me—
You two have done so many intimate things together, and yet you’re still not officially dating?

I still haven’t gathered enough courage to take that step forward…

More importantly, I don’t even know what kind of attitude Gu Fan truly holds toward me.

Does he just see me like a stray cat by the roadside, someone he teases for fun from time to time?

Or does he really regard me as someone worth marrying, and seriously want to develop a relationship?

I’ve never had any foundation in romance; I don’t even really understand what love truly is.

The familial love once given to me by my father and mother vanished like a shooting star—so fleeting that I hadn’t even had time to savor it before it disappeared completely.

I don’t dare to casually decide what Gu Fan’s feelings for me are.

I’m afraid… afraid of becoming another version of my mother.

Though, honestly, even if things really did develop that way, I think I would willingly accept it.

Still, deep within me, there’s a lingering pride that keeps reminding me:
I must protect the one I love.

Love should belong to only two people for a lifetime.

How could I ever allow a third person to intrude?

“Heh… So in the end, you two aren’t even a couple. You haven’t even confirmed the relationship, yet you bring him into the house? You’re really bold.”

Hearing me deny that Gu Fan was my boyfriend, my mother let out a cold nasal laugh, seizing upon that weakness and mocking me mercilessly.

Even though there was no mirror in front of me, my sharp body awareness let me feel it clearly—
my cat ears curled up in anger, the tail wrapped around my waist suddenly bristled and shot upright, making the sweater around my chest puff up.

Even though I had already mentally prepared myself, hearing those words come directly from my mother still made anger surge up from my chest, burning my throat.

“So what if that’s the case? In the end, all that ‘officially dating’ and ‘getting married’ stuff is just a matter of formal identity.

At the very least, I don’t need those things to bring him into our home. Look at it this way—our bond is already far better than many couples who are constantly at odds with each other.”

Perhaps, compared to other catgirls whose features mostly resembled cats, the place where I most resembled a cat was in my temper.

Clenching my teeth tightly, I turned around and locked my cold gaze onto my mother, who was slightly taller than me—like a cat with bristled fur, trying to intimidate in return.

“…I used to think the same way as you. But once you step into society, you’ll realize that what you believed to be deep, steadfast love is nothing more than a joke.”

The sharp standoff I had imagined never came to pass.

My mother’s tightly furrowed brows, as though provoked by my words, suddenly relaxed.

She froze in a daze for a few seconds, the prickly, thorn-like aura around her body dissipating quickly.

By the time she regained herself and once again wore that familiar mask of indifference, the mask already showed visible cracks.

Seeing her like this, I couldn’t bear to keep glaring fiercely at her any longer. My own aura softened slightly as well.

“No matter what, he is my Gu Fan. The time I’ve known him is no shorter than the time you spent with Father. I trust the person he is right now.

That’s why I need to invest more time and energy to preserve who he is, to make sure that even when he encounters strange temptations in the future, he’ll still resolutely walk toward me.”

Words buried deep in my heart—if I just bring them out and arrange them simply, they can be spoken aloud. But all of this requires the right atmosphere, one that allows me to say them naturally.

For the first time, I revealed my true feelings to my mother. Seeing her lower her eyes in thought, offering no response, my body suddenly felt heavy.

I couldn’t help but feel… if I stayed here any longer, she would strike me down mercilessly again.

Why did I even expose my weakness to her? I regretted it deeply. What’s the use of saying such fragile words to my mother? Without relying on her, can’t I still move forward on my own?

Silently reproaching myself, I said nothing more. I turned straight toward my room, went in, and locked the door.

I needed to send Gu Fan a message—tell him that I couldn’t go out for the time being, and… somehow, think of a way to apologize.

After all, we had clearly agreed to go to the flower market together. But now I had suddenly broken my promise.

If I put myself in his place, even I would despise a disgusting, unreliable woman like me.