Chapter 48: The Rice Cake Pounding Bachelor (1)

The Sprout Fairy was so cute I turned my gaze away.

“Hey, CatMan, got anything to say?”

Even if cats are cold, they’ve got some affection, right?

[Give it up, or you’ll lose your spice.]

This jerk.

***

From October to November, before the college entrance exam, I’m planning to make a killing with taffy and glutinous rice cakes made by RiceCookerMan.

After eating the King Slime, my body naturally emits a fragrance, and it’s not too bothersome.

It subtly infuses the rice drink, making it tastier.

Fragrance LV15 is honestly a slot waste.

But since I broke level 200 and can equip 20 traits and skills, I can afford to keep one for fun.

And elderflower-scented glutinous rice cakes, makgeolli, and taffy might actually be competitive?

“Man, no matter how I think about it, the capacity’s too small. Should’ve bought a bigger rice cooker.”

[What?! What does that mean?!]

He’s reacting like he’s been struck by lightning, worried he’ll be outdone by another appliance.

“No, no, not like that. Can you, like, multiply?”

[Whaaat?!]

Yeah, obviously not possible.

It’s just wishful thinking after tasting money.

Running production all day isn’t practical either.

If I could block the gate with a microwave and use the rice cooker for production, I’d make more profit.

“No, no, no. Anyway, I’m steaming rice cakes today.”

Haaah.

CatMan’s yawning, looking sleepy.

Since I’m using the rice cooker, I didn’t send him to fetch.

He’s got the easiest life.

Just then.

Rumble rumble.

“Ugh, so annoying.”

I’m following a glutinous rice cake recipe video, and the gate starts shaking again.

It’s a signal that a pretty strong one’s coming. When it shakes like that?

“Crap, if I get interrupted while following the video, the food’s gonna suck.”

With new recipes, sticking to the instructions is crucial.

Otherwise, a cooking newbie like me with clumsy hands might create some hellish flavor.

I think back to wasting rice while figuring out what steamed rice was for rice drink…

And getting scolded by RiceCookerMan, who’s neither my mom nor my wife.

“Hey, CatMan.”

At least I’ve got CatMan, who I didn’t send to fetch.

He’s resting his chin on his versatile front paws, watching TV.

Living the high life, huh?

Still, CatMan’s the core of my active defense strategy, the hammer to RiceCookerMan’s anvil.

Now’s the time to give battle orders.

[Roger that.]

What’s with this crazy guy?

He was lying beside me watching TV, making all sorts of noises.

Guess it was fun.

“Take care of it. Don’t let it live.”

CatMan and RiceCookerMan, my pet and ego spirit, automatically grow at half my level gain.

That’s the minimum, apparently.

Thanks to that, CatMan’s over level 130 with his own boosts, and RiceCookerMan’s probably similar.

RiceCookerMan still has data I can’t read with my Intelligence, but I bet he’s growing about the same.

If the invading monster’s over level 256, I’d have to fight myself, rice cakes or not.

But if it’s lower, I’ll leave it to CatMan.

[Krr, my wild instincts are awakening.]

This cat’s got some grandiose vibes for a feline.

But I’m also getting caught up in the lofty goal of saving the world.

The biggest enemies in this room, King Slime and White Dragon, were about CatMan’s size, not bigger.

From the gate, one beam of light falls, then another, and a third.

The three beams start merging.

“Wow, look at that entrance. Big guy, huh?”

I’m kneading rice cake dough and mixing in sugar-heavy red bean paste, but monsters with that kind of entrance aren’t small, so I got a bit tense.

I’m thinking of pounding the expensive glutinous rice I bought into the monster.

Honestly, these rice cakes are probably doomed with all these interruptions, so maybe I’ll just cover the monster in dough and make monster rice cake?

But it’s not steamed yet, so it should be fine.

“Ugh, I think I added too much water watching that.”

The blog said it should be stickier than this.

<Cerberus LV195>

The hellhound with three heads.

Can split its body into three through magic.

Three dogs jumped out of the gate, but the lights merged into one body with three heads.

From the description, it can do the reverse too.

“Grrr.”

“Krrr.”

“Woof, woof, woof, woof!”

High level, small body, but their barking is no joke.

Still, their level’s lower than mine.

In cases like this, tossing it to CatMan is the move.

Compared to fruit flies, flies, or mosquitoes, these guys are pretty bulky.

[You can issue commands to your pet!]

[You can order it to fight.]

Battle orders, huh.

Annoying.

All I know are Lightning and Lightning Dash.

Is Fetch a combat skill?

“Hey, I’m pounding rice cakes, so you take care of the dogs.”

[That’s hardly fair.]

What’s he saying?

I was about to just let him handle it, but a thought struck me.

Wait, I kinda want to try something.

“Go, CatMan. Lightning.”

CatMan, who was showing his back and tail to the enemy, sighed, turned around, and grumbled.

[Ugh… just do a meow-meow, right?]

“Make it snappy. I’ll throw in extra cockles and mackerel sashimi.”

[Meow-meow!]

This guy acts like he doesn’t want to but does it anyway.

So endearing.

CatMan unleashes a Meow-Meow Punch powered by Lightning at the three-headed dog.

The dogs try to dodge.

Zzzap!

CatMan’s front paws are faster.

Even though they dodge, the dogs get hit by the lightning’s edge and twitch like they’re electrocuted.

“Woof-woof-woof-woof.”

“Yelp.”

“Kyu, kyu.”

?

One of them sounds weird.

Why’s a dog making chick noises?

[Next?]

“You only have two skills anyway.”

[Got it.]

CatMan’s fur crackles and stands on end, tail shooting up.

All standing.

Can’t see it from here, but it must look fierce.

Then.

He vanishes, leaving only an afterimage.

[Lightning Dash!]

“Yelp!”

Cerberus flies and crashes into RiceCookerMan.

CatMan’s attack is so fast they can’t dodge and get hit.

“Whoa.”

Cerberus splits into three dogs.

“Nice.”

I must’ve underestimated CatMan after he got beaten by White Dragon’s clone.

CatMan can grow to leopard size, and with Swordmaster passive, he’s faster than me.

Plus, his lightning skill emits something black.

Is that dark magic?

CatMan probably got dark magic from eating a rat that ate a necromancer.

A black magic-using black cat. That’s rare.

His black fur makes him look like that black cat from Kiki’s Delivery Service.

One of the separated dogs gets hit by CatMan’s Meow-Meow Punch and flies.

“Kying.”

It’s not dead but whimpers pitifully.

“Yelp-yelp, kying, kying, kying.”

The other Cerberus dogs resonate, as if in harmony.

“Woof, woof! Grrr.”

“Woof-woof!”

[Noisy.]

They bark and get hit by CatMan.

“Yelp.”

“Kyu, kyo.”

The more CatMan pummels them, the more these otherworldly dogs whimper pathetically.

It’s almost pitiful.

CatMan plays with them like a typical cat toying with prey.

The dogs keep crying out in pain.

CatMan doesn’t seem likely to lose, but the barking’s loud, so I gave an order.

“CatMan, finish them. Any more is animal cruelty.”

CatMan turns back with a sulky expression, saying nothing.

What, you punk?

After all the love I give you?

I order cockle bibimbap, give you all the cockles, and eat plain rice myself.

While getting nagged by RiceCookerMan.

“I think of you like a brother, CatMan. I treat you like a person. Hey, don’t shake your head. Give those guys peace.”

[These mutts?]

“You’re cussing in front of your big bro?”

[If I can’t call mutts mutts, then maybe the term ‘mutt’ fits you two-legged types better.]

“This guy, such a smooth talker. Cute. Go get ‘em!”

[Tch, no choice.]

And CatMan got wrecked.

“Woof, woof! Woof, woof!”

Even though CatMan took down two of the Cerberus heads, they sprout back into three and split again.

“Whoa, what? That’s gross.”

The three separated dogs form a formation and just bark.

The noise is unreal, and it’s not just noise—it’s dealing actual damage.

CatMan’s covering his ears with his front paws, rolling in pain.

“Hey, CatMan! You okay?”

[Buy me AirPods…]

No matter how advanced animal welfare is, I doubt there’s wireless earbuds for your ears.

“Grrr, woof-woof!”

“Ugh, seriously. We’re done. Shut up! This is a studio tel, you mutts!”

I couldn’t stand it, so I rolled up a newspaper and swatted…

“Kying-kying! Woof-woof-woof! Kying!”

They whimper even more pitifully.

Man, the Succubus Queen is something else.

They’re getting info from our side, aren’t they?

The three dogs CatMan bit to death are now launching a “social attack” on me.

The landlord grandpa’s voice comes over the building’s intercom.

[Huff, huff. Whose dogs are barking like that!? I said you need permission to keep dogs, not cats! Dogs…]

“Woof! Woof-woof! Woof-woof-woof!”

[…I clearly said no dogs bigger than small breeds. If you left them and went out—]

“Woof-woof! Bark-bark-bark, woof-woof-woof!”

[…I’ll personally sue for violating animal welfare laws. Just you wait.]

“Woof-woof-woof-woof!”

“Aang!”

“Woof-woof?”

“…?”

This is driving me nuts.

Now other dogs in the building are barking too.

After the landlord grandpa’s first broadcast, the barking didn’t stop—it got worse.

[Huff, huff. Come on, do something about those dogs! Huff, huff, animal welfare be damned, I’m calling the dogcatcher. I warned you!]

“Woof! Woof-woof!”

[Room 504, why aren’t you picking up? Sounds like your Maltese or whatever’s doing this!]

“Aang-aang-aang!”

[The dogs…]

…

“Woof-woof-woof! Grrr, woof-woof! Woof-woof-kwal-kwal-kwal!”

[Hey! Stop the dog barking!]

The landlord grandpa’s furious broadcast is now blaring across the entire studio tel.

His voice is getting louder—he might barge in with his traditional hanbok and cane.

Grandpa…

He might turn into the studio tel cane-wielding murderer.

Luckily, for some reason, the dogs in this building—especially the Pomeranians and Maltese—are yapping and resonating with each other, so they can’t pin it on my place.

Cerberus seems impossible to kill unless you take out all three at once.

For enemies like that, there’s a special death sentence: trap them in the rice cooker.

But I’m in the middle of kneading and steaming rice cakes, so what’s this mess?

“You mutts, get ready to become dog rice cakes. CatMan, get out of the way.”

[Meow.]

The barking was so intense it overwhelmed CatMan, who’s using his front paws to cover his ears.

“Kying!”

One distracted Cerberus near CatMan couldn’t dodge the rice cooker.

Inside the rice cooker’s pot was the glutinous rice dough I was kneading, and it merged with…

<Dog Rice Cake>

Thanks to RiceCookerMan’s synthesis ability, it literally became dog + rice cake.