Chapter 24: I Don’t Like Receiving Help

Why did I just hold my breath? Huh?! I wanted to kick off the blanket in embarrassment.

Evan reached his hand out to me again.

Just like asking for an escort at a ball.

“It’s alright.”

My chest rose and fell rapidly.

When I gently declined with a smile, Evan frowned. It was so subtle that others wouldn’t have noticed.

“I was just thinking.”

“?”

“You really don’t like receiving help, do you?”

“……”

Was he really curious, or was he annoyed because I turned down his kindness? I couldn’t read him at all.

“Hmm?”

Evan pressed for an answer.

‘Help… I’ve never received any, nor do I expect to.’

Suddenly receiving kindness that I’d never known before I returned… How was I supposed to adapt to that right away? Especially when it could vanish at any moment.

What if I start to like it, and then it disappears? Who takes responsibility for the loss? Me! I’d be the one who has to bear it!

He shook his outstretched hand, as if urging me to take it.

‘Annoying.’

“Is it necessary to always be thankful and just accept it whenever someone helps you?”

I kept my smile as I questioned him.

“What?”

“Isn’t it possible to not like receiving help?”

‘The time I actually needed help was in the carriage! When I was dying!’

No, Liana, calm down. In, out. In, out.

Evan’s eyes widened in surprise, then returned to normal.

“Why?”

‘Why, he asks?’

I smiled, my eyes shining.

“Because I don’t like it.”

“Hah.”

“Shall we go now?”

“That’s just stubbornness.”

“Is that so.”

“Because of that stubbornness, when you actually need—”

“Sir Evan! Liana! Aren’t you coming in?”

Just in time, Cecilia interrupted Evan. She stood outside the shop, shivering, waving for us to hurry over.

“Let’s go, Cecilia’s waiting!”

“Hah.”

A strong wind blew, and Cecilia’s long blue hair whipped around her. She tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing her face once more.

“Why did you come out?”

“You weren’t coming in, and it’s cold, so I was worried.”

Cecilia’s eyes glistened.

“Your clothes are all dirty.”

“Right.”

Now I noticed the hem of her skirt was covered in dust. Even after brushing it with a handkerchief, it didn’t come off easily. Earlier, Hawkins’s robe had covered her, so I hadn’t seen it.

“Wear the robe—”

“Sir Evan! Aren’t you cold? Hehe.”

“Go inside. Hmph.”

“What’s wrong? Ah! Liana, sorry. I think I just interrupted you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Liana, are you upset?”

“Hm?”

Evan was looking over Cecilia’s appearance. Just then, Hawkins came out holding the robe.

“Why aren’t you coming in.”

At this point, Hawkins’s bluntness was more familiar to me than anything.

Gentle Hawkins must be dead now.

He was always kind in front of Cecilia, but now he’s decided to only be gentle with her?

“Shall we head to the salon?”

“Liana.”

Cecilia called for me again.

Evan, who had been looking at Cecilia’s dirty clothes, finally turned his gaze to me.

What’s with that look! Like he’s interrogating me….

A similar scene came to mind. The person was different, but—

‘Lady Margareta… I’m sorry.’

‘What? Ha! Why are you apologizing all of a sudden? I told you to just go.’

‘Are you angry?’

‘…….’

‘I’m sorry…….’

‘Mentheson. You really get on my nerves…’

‘You’re angry again.’

‘……Evan?’

‘Sir Evan…!’

‘Margareta. Why are you angry again?’

‘I’m not angry…!’

‘You’re angry, though.’

‘Ah, no. I made Miss Margareta angry… It’s my fault….’

‘Aaaah!’

I didn’t know the exact situation. That day, Cecilia had left first, and I was looking for her. Hawkins asked me where she went, and on our way, I witnessed that scene—Cecilia apologizing, Margareta angry.

Margareta was almost always angry, so I’d just thought the two clashed again. But maybe Cecilia had stirred up more trouble.

Even if she didn’t, or even if it was alright, it still left me uneasy!

I thought it over. The pressing gazes felt like they were boring holes in my face, but I dragged out the time a bit.

I deliberately avoided Cecilia’s eyes. If I looked into those watery eyes, I’d end up apologizing before I knew it. I really didn’t want that. It wasn’t that I hated it, but… there was a strange reluctance that made it hard to speak.

‘…At times like this.’

“I know a salon nearby. Let’s go there. There should be plenty in Cecilia’s style, so it’ll be easy to choose.”

‘Just ignore it!’

I smiled brightly, as if I’d just remembered, and explained where the salon was.

“You were thinking about something else again.”

Evan agreed easily.

“Liana, really~ Were you thinking of me? Thank you.”

“Let’s hurry, then.”

Hawkins draped an outer garment over Cecilia.

“Thank you, Sir Hawkins.”

*****

After buying a dress at the salon and entering the café one by one, an employee seemed to recognize Evan and rushed over. Just as he was about to greet us loudly, Evan waved him off and gave a discreet smile. It meant to quietly show us to a seat.

“Please, this way.”

The staff was polite but looked nervous as he led us to a window seat.

“Miss Cecilia, please sit.”

Hawkins naturally pulled out Cecilia’s chair.

Evan looked at me.

‘I don’t need that, you know?’

I smiled, as if to say so, and sat next to Cecilia. Cecilia’s full skirt brushed against me.

This is so unsettling! I already felt awkward sharing a room with Margareta.

‘Evan. Is this alright? Buying a dress for Cecilia like that. What about your engagement to Margareta!’

Before I returned, the engagement went smoothly through the first year, but for some reason, I felt uneasy.

Wasn’t the engagement in the fall of first year? As the years went by, things got worse with Margareta, and they were on the verge of breaking it off.

This time, I’m worried they might not even have the engagement ceremony.

‘This is exactly what drives girls up the wall!’

I couldn’t tell if Evan was clueless or just… well, should I call him naive, stubborn, or bold?

Cecilia, now in an ivory dress, looked pure itself. With her neatly braided hair and the dress chosen by the madam, she looked like she was attending a tea party, not out shopping for Academy supplies. Well, she was a young lady, after all, but still!

“Cecilia, you look beautiful.”

As I genuinely admired her, Evan, who was chatting with Hawkins, burst into laughter.

“Tea for me.”

“I’ll pass.”

Hawkins said so and fell silent.

His mysterious, swamp-colored eyes kept casting worried glances at Cecilia. Cecilia lowered her head bashfully.

“Coffee for me. Cecilia?”

Evan called her to order. “I’ll have the same,” Cecilia answered shyly, smiling.

For a moment, Evan’s eyes returned to their usual state.

That is to say… he was trying to hide his yearning for Cecilia, but it slipped out in his gaze.

“I really want to thank you both. Truly, it was almost a disaster. Sir Evan, this dress too… It’s so beautiful. Is it really alright for me to accept it?”

“It suits you.”

The attendant arrived with the tray.

I started dumping sugar cubes into my tea.

‘Whether they get engaged or break it off, what do I care….’

I stirred my tea slowly with the teaspoon.

The voices of the three filled the table.

It was fun when it was just me and Cecilia.

Just because I was used to being left out didn’t mean I liked it. It wasn’t as awkward as before I returned, but… now I found myself getting angry at odd moments!

“A flowerpot?”

“My friend asked me to get one.”

“What kind of flowerpot? Who’s your friend?”

‘Is he talking about Benjamin…?’

Just thinking about him was frightening. The bad memories from before my return started to creep up, and I wanted to leave first.

But after all that commotion, if I tried to leave now, they’d surely stop me. Then there’d just be a fuss.

“Liana?”

Oh. I was drumming my fingers on the table. I’d been doing it so hard my nails ached.

“What’s wrong, Liana?”

“What are you thinking about so deeply?”

“Liana always thinks a lot. Ah! Do you want to try this?”

Cecilia offered me her cup without hesitation.

It was coffee, untouched.

“Miss Cecilia, please drink it yourself. You must still be shaken.”

Hawkins pushed the cup back toward her.

‘Hasn’t the shopping already calmed her down?’

“……”

‘Besides, I never said I wanted to drink it. I wasn’t even thinking about it.’

Annoyed for no reason, I nearly stomped on Hawkins’s foot under the table, but stopped myself.

Phew. That was close. How could I act so improper now, when I never did before my return!

My whole body rejected rudeness! Let’s just forget about drumming on the table. Yes, forget it!

See, everyone else is sitting all relaxed and loose, but I’m the only one sitting up straight.

“Liana, really, you can drink it if you want….”

“I’ll have tea.”

I said firmly, and Cecilia nodded.

Yes, this is how it should be. The two of them should focus on Cecilia. And I just sit here smiling like a sack of barley.

‘Honestly… it’s not like I minded.’

Evan’s gaze brushed past me.

On a nice day like this, I was wedged in with them again. I was tired of repeating the same thoughts.

“Extra, extra!”

A cold wind swept in. The door banged open, and in came a boy wearing a baker’s cap. He took off his hat and greeted us, then shouted loudly.

“Extra! Extra!”

The boy wove between tables, calling out, and the young men bought newspapers from him.

“Over here.”

I raised my hand too.

“Thank you!”

As I tossed him a coin, the boy handed me a newspaper.

“A skilled lad.”

“Is he?”

I brushed off Evan’s reply and opened the paper. We’d probably be here for a while, so reading was better than sitting around bored.

But before I could finish reading the headline, a hand snatched it away.

“Your Highness?”