Since fleeing from my old home until now, my stagnant and decaying mind has been forced into a complete upheaval by the impact of new things.
Now, even when I imagine scenes related to Gu Fan, I no longer feel as anxious and timid as before, only daring to fantasize a little about what he might do to me, but not daring to imagine what might come next.
If I had to use a word to describe it… I suppose I’ve become much more determined?
I don’t constantly deny my true desires anymore, or shrink back so much that I’m even afraid to hold Gu Fan’s hand.
The message my father sent about Grandpa was like an eagle ruthlessly pushing its chick off a cliff.
Although the danger is great, it has indeed forced me to learn how to fly on my own.
Perhaps a cowardly catgirl like me really does need to be restrained and forced with tough measures, or else I’d never step out of my comfort zone—just circling the same place endlessly, stubbornly refusing to leap from the cliff to catch my ‘prey.’
With my previous mentality and thoughts, I probably would have chosen to maintain the status quo with Gu Fan, stuck in that ambiguous relationship that’s more than friends but less than lovers—able to hold hands and hug, but unable to kiss or go any further.
As I quietly pieced together my thoughts after this epiphany, I set my phone on a nearby rock, slipped my feet back into my shoes along with the tissue, and sat up, stretching lazily.
At some point, my tail had slipped out from under my undershirt, standing upright in a mischievous way. The tip hooked onto a branch drooping from the big tree beside me, not at all afraid of getting scratched by the wooden barbs.
I rubbed my cat ears, which were sore from too much movement. Today’s emotional rollercoaster had been too much, leaving even the muscles connected to my ears feeling a bit numb and tingly.
Just as Grandma said, a catgirl’s senses are several times sharper than an ordinary girl’s, but her endurance hasn’t improved much. If her emotions fluctuate too wildly, she can easily be overwhelmed by the shock and either become dumb or faint.
Come to think of it, my mother and father were once such a loving couple… I don’t think Mother was attracted to Father just for his looks.
Before Father became successful, he must have had some shining personality traits that won Mother over, convincing her to marry him despite his less fortunate family background.
But… after Father went to Huacheng to make his fortune, in those years he was completely changed by the vast tide of profit. It’s fair to say that only after he gained enough money and power did he show his true nature.
Whenever I think about how Mother and Father used to be so inseparable, only to turn into two cold, distant faces in just a few short years, I can’t help but feel a little anxious.
It’s not that I want to go back and change them—I’m not that naïve. Just being given a second chance by the heavens is already something I’m deeply grateful for.
I just worry about my childhood sweetheart. Will he, like my father Mr. Lin, abandon his wife and daughter after making it big in business, choosing a younger, prettier maid or a wealthy young lady instead?
“Mmm, can I really compete with them?”
I pulled out my small pocket mirror and opened it, gazing at the black-haired catgirl inside, her brows slightly furrowed.
My blood-red eyes looked especially deep and mysterious under the shadow of the trees, and at the corners, there was a faint rosy tint like my father’s, the upward curve carrying a hint of flirtation.
Looking at my own reflection, I could never really judge just how attractive I truly was.
Luckily, I didn’t need to rely on mirrors to find my advantage. All I had to do was look down, and I’d see the feature that gave me a clear edge over girls my age.
As long as I keep exercising and maintain my figure, I should definitely be able to win Gu Fan over, right?
Thinking back on how Gu Fan’s eyes always lingered there, and that one time at his house when I accidentally witnessed a certain natural reaction—those proved that no matter how composed and smart Gu Fan acted, at his core he was just an energetic teenage boy.
Hmph, looks like I can prepare all sorts of interaction tricks now.
Once I get back, I have to find an opportunity to invite Gu Fan out, get him nice and drunk, then take the chance to confess my feelings and leave him with no choice but to accept me.
It just so happens that soon, our coastal county will be celebrating its 500th anniversary, with festivities at both the old and new squares lasting for days.
Though I don’t like crowds or bustling scenes, and dislike them even more thanks to the cotton ball effect since becoming a girl, I have to admit this is the perfect opportunity to ask Gu Fan out. If I book a hotel in advance… gulp…
Before I realized it, I swallowed, my tongue rough with little barbs, salivating on its own. I took a deep breath and forced those floating, bubbly thoughts down for now.
The future that hasn’t come yet can wait to be enjoyed slowly. For now, I need to handle the trouble my father brought.
I picked up my phone to check the time. It’s been about ten minutes since I left home—I wonder how Mother and Father’s conversation is going.
After thinking it over, I decided to head back and check on things. There’s no use running away—sooner or later, I’ll have to face them. Might as well get it over with and speak my mind.
I put my jacket back on, buttoned it up to cover my pale undershirt, smoothed the hem of my skirt, used my little mirror to tidy up the bangs on my forehead, then turned toward the main road.
That alley was only for special occasions—when I was a child chasing friends, not afraid of getting dirty.
Now that I’ve grown up—and am even a little ‘plump’ in some areas as a girl—it’s more appropriate to go home properly by the main road, at least to maintain a dignified and neat image.
On the way home, I wondered what Father would make me do if he really brought me back to Huacheng to be raised.
Take over the family business? I don’t think that’s likely. After all these years, he’s probably remarried, and with his profit-driven personality, his wife’s status must be impressive.
He probably has a son by now too, and he’s still in his prime, good for decades yet. He wouldn’t need to bring back a useless catgirl like me just to split his inheritance.
I never bothered to check the news or online encyclopedia entries about my father. Mother, to keep him out of our lives, would only ever buy things online or offline from the same brands, never switching.
Not long ago, she sold the TV cheap on a secondhand site and replaced it with an ad-free smart TV, so we could only watch dramas and documentaries.