Chapter 1: You Die at Thirty-Five

I stare at the trophy in my hand.

My full name is engraved on the gleaming Best Actor trophy.

On the happiest day of my life, I carried that trophy and headed for the rooftop.

As I climbed the stairs, a thought kept repeating in my head.

‘See? You survive, and it works out. So you should’ve lived. You shouldn’t have died.’

You stupid bastard.

*****

‘Our Yeohu is a genius!’

‘Looks like Yeohu is destined to act his whole life. He loves acting this much.’

‘Actor Jeon Yeohu’s talent is top-tier in this country. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a child actor this good.’

I debuted as a genius child actor and swept awards, but public affection was fleeting.

No matter how good your acting was, surviving in this industry required the perfect trio—projects, luck, and mass appeal.
It seemed I didn’t have that luck.

A project I had prepared for years was never released due to controversy, wasting several years of my life.
The next opportunity I got—after a long wait—collapsed when the writer quit midway.

The shining moments passed like an arrow.
My agency abandoned me, and the money I’d saved disappeared entirely due to my parents’ business failure.

Ironically, when I was doing well, those same people said my happiness mattered more than acting.
But once the money was gone, they wanted me to succeed again.

They wanted me to make money again—no matter how.

‘You don’t have to say it. I’ll act on my own. So please stop.’

‘I earn all the money I need through part-time jobs. Please….’

It wasn’t exactly because of them that I didn’t quit acting.

I had never once thought of abandoning acting in my life.

No matter how much I was ignored, no matter how no one looked for me, I couldn’t give it up.

‘I’ll do it! Please give me the role!’

‘Should I bring you an ashtray? No, I’m fine. I couldn’t possibly use the director’s.’

‘No! We can reshoot! Please let us reshoot! I’m begging you!’

I worked myself to death.
I acted like my life depended on it.

If something had to be discarded in the process of success…

Fine.
I discarded people.

That was only natural.

People had discarded me the same way.

Marketability.
In the entertainment industry, that’s everything.

Because that’s what makes money.

And besides—

That’s how society works.

After clawing my way to the top, I even gave acting advice to rookies trying to follow me.

I was harsh—but to survive in this industry, you needed that level of mental toughness.

‘Your acting isn’t even remotely interesting. I don’t understand what people find entertaining about it. You’re fucking terrible.’

‘Want me to say it again? You have no talent. I don’t want to work with someone untalented like you.’

I only repeated what I’d heard countless times myself.

I said whatever I wanted, just like I had experienced—

and spat people out the same way.

Whenever controversy arose, I spat them out again and again.

Even when it was Jung Yoonwoo—someone I’d filmed dramas with and stayed close to for years—I acted no differently.

A person should be consistent, after all.

‘Yeohu, it wasn’t me. You know that. You have to believe me.’

‘I get it. I do. But there’s no evidence. Honestly, who would believe you just because you say so?’

‘Jung Yoonwoo, if you’re making money, stop whining.’

‘What…?’

‘Enough. Lay low and don’t contact me. People are trying to tie you to me now. Thought you were clean. Oh—and change your number. You don’t need to give me the new one. That way I can honestly say I don’t know your number.’

The look on Jung Yoonwoo’s face back then is still vivid.

Even though it was years ago.

‘Hey. You—you can’t do that to me. Did I ever ask you for money? Ask you to pull strings for me? We were just friends!’

Friends. Friendship. Colleagues.
The words Yoonwoo chanted like a mantra.

How important is that in society?

How helpful is it, really?

‘Friends, huh. You say it so easily. So what if we’re friends? If your precious friendship ruins my life, will you take responsibility then? Because we’re friends? You’ve got nothing, but your mouth sure works.’

You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, and friendships that bring no benefit should be broken.
Even family—the kind people say blood is thicker than water—lie and deceive each other over money. That’s reality.

I was the pathetic one for being friends with a kid who didn’t understand reality.

Me.

• ○○ found dead at home…
• Funeral completed; bereaved family says, “No one believed us. And even now…”
• “He wasn’t that kind of student,” classmates finally speak out after ○○’s death

So the emotions that surfaced after learning the truth were something I could ignore too.

You should’ve handled things better from the start.

You should’ve made excuses.

You should’ve said just one more thing—anything—to make me believe you.

‘Others are fine. They don’t know me. I don’t care if they misunderstand. But Yeohu—you shouldn’t have done that. You knew me. And you still threw me away.’

‘Is my word really that hard for you to believe?’

‘If I say it wasn’t me, can’t you believe me just once?’

In a society where kindness has no reason to exist, consideration and gentleness are nothing but hypocrisy.

So I was right.

I raised the trophy I’d received today high into the air.

It sparkled brilliantly—one hell of a thing.

I’d run this fiercely just to get this.

On impulse, I shouted,

“Best Actor—Jeon Yeohu!”

The most prestigious award given each year to the best leading male actor in South Korea.

“See? I was right, Yoonwoo. That’s why you died—and I lived.”

You chose a profession that sells its face.
You should’ve protected yourself.

That was your choice.

You didn’t even have the courage to deny it—that’s your fault.

And—

“Hyung, Mintae. Look at this too. Thanks to the role you got me, I gained popularity and became a super star. A super star. Aren’t you happy?”

Casting director Park Mintae.

I was able to succeed again because of him.

Even if things fell apart between us at the end.

‘Hyung, what did I do wrong? I don’t get it. He messed up first.’

‘How could you… he’s just a kid.’

‘This is insane. This is my fault? This is how society works, hyung. You know that. You wouldn’t abandon me either, right? If I fell into the gutter, you’d cut ties too.’

‘I regret bringing you back into this industry. I think I ruined you.’

Regret? For what.

“I don’t regret anything, hyung. I succeeded like this—what regret is there? And I lived. I… won.”

And yet, something presses hard against my heart.

Like a massive stone crashing down on it.

“So yeah. I survived.”

…I should be happy.

Because I was right.
Because I was correct.

“I should be.”

The rooftop of the building.

Staring at the grand prize trophy in my hand, I muttered quietly,

“Fuck.”

I covered my face with both hands. I didn’t know what expression I was supposed to make.

What expression does the me who isn’t acting wear?

“Honestly, what did I do wrong? You were the one who messed up first.”

Why do old memories keep resurfacing today?

‘School violence? Abuse of power? Do I look like someone who’d do that?’

‘Why does that matter? It’s your fault for becoming gossip over something like that. If you’d lived better, would this have happened?’

‘…You really think that?’

‘They got exposed too? So what? Why are you taking care of them? Do they make you money?’

‘There’s nothing left if you live like this? You bastard. You’ve never failed, have you? Fail once and you’ll see. When you’re ruined, no one helps you. They just throw you away.’

‘If I help them, can I keep acting? If I want to be a loved actor, I have to ignore them. Help them? Why would I? You want to get marked by the public?’

And yet—

So what?

“What was I supposed to do in that situation?”

Blindly take your side?

Wouldn’t that have been worse?

‘What’s right, then?’

Thud.

I dropped the cigarette butt onto the ground and crushed it.

I hadn’t been a smoker originally.

I started after one colleague died.
When two died, I started drinking.

After that, I stopped counting.

Counting wouldn’t change anything.

They say alcohol and cigarettes help you forget pain.

That’s bullshit.

Alcohol and cigarettes shove the pain deeper in.

I already know.

I know what I should’ve done back then.

‘But even that was my choice.’

People don’t change.

Human nature doesn’t change.

A bastard stays a bastard until death.

So I’ll keep being right—

and keep being a piece of shit.

As long as I don’t die.

The award I received today.

‘Does this one trophy prove that my life wasn’t wrong?’

I looked around.

On the day I received my award, the rooftop was empty.

There was only me.

Yeah.
Alone here—like the dead.

Thud.

The cigarette I was smoking fell from the rooftop.

‘Yeah. I’ve achieved everything. Through acting.’

That day—

Actor Jeon Yeohu fell from the rooftop like a cigarette burned to its end—

“Kyahhh—!”

—and died.

…

……

………

[ &(@#!(A new opportunity is granted to one deceased individual.) ]

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[Main Quest: Become a national act&*or wi□◁th▽▼out dㄷㅏying.]

[!System Error Detected!]

[Investigating cause of error.]

[Subject Jeon Yeohu will die before the age of 35 if he continues ‘acting’ even after regression.]

[For the regressor’s survival, the regression objective will be forcibly altered.]

[Due to side effects of forced alteration, the subject will return to age 0. All memories prior to regression will be sealed until system errors are resolved.]