Chapter 60: The Love Guru (1)

S-rank Hunter.

A class as strange as Porter, with absurdly strong combat abilities against people.

Even though the HP system applies, the punching power is abnormally painful.

His combat sense is exceptional, almost alarmingly so, and he’s incredibly quick on the uptake.

He fights well, whether it’s grappling or striking, and he handles any weapon skillfully, regardless of what it is.

His evasion and agile movement are so overwhelming, he leaves afterimages in his wake.

It was like standing before a monster that couldn’t be caught.

“Even ganging up on him doesn’t work.”

“Uncle doesn’t care about being outnumbered. In fact, allies just get in the way.”

Once, Kim Inho and Kim Taeyang attacked him together. But it was useless.

“I’ve seen him play foot volleyball sometimes, and even then, his athletic ability seems monstrous.”

“He’s always hated losing, so he’s been pro-level at sports for a long time.”

Among office workers who would play a casual game of foot volleyball after lunch, Lee Hyunbin was a legend.

Because he was the first person who played Seopaktakro instead of foot volleyball.

“Ambushes don’t work either.”

“Even if you ambushed him while he’s sleeping, I bet he’d react.”

He’d seem distracted, and you’d think you could pounce, but you’d be the one pounced on.

“We even tried games, but that didn’t work either.”

“Didn’t you say he got an offer to become a professional gamer in high school?”

“Knew it.”

Turns out, Lee Hyunbin was secretly a monster. Even outside of combat, he was meticulous at anything he did.

“Oh, right. I think he really likes organizing and tidying up.”

Living together, they’d seen Lee Hyunbin clean often.

Even the way he folded clothes, and how he hated seeing things out of place.

Whenever he had spare time, he’d meticulously tidy everything again.

“Oh, that’s it!”

Kim Taeyang’s eyes gleamed.

“Let’s make a mess on purpose! As soon as he organizes it, mess it up again! And again! If we keep doing that, Team Leader will get worn out!”

Kim Taeyang grinned as if he were Zhuge Liang himself, having discovered a great strategy.

Seohyeonji, finding it amusing, eagerly agreed, while Kim Inho felt a sense of unease.

Only Seoyeon, who had been quietly listening, wore a sad expression.

“Rolling with the right hand, rolling with the left hand.”

We’re about to raid a high-level Dungeon soon, so I’ve been pushing the team hard in training, and it feels good.

Not because I have any kind of S-mentality. Definitely not.

It’s just nice to see Taeyang’s durability improving every day. And Inho, now able to dodge one out of ten hits, makes me happy.

Seohyeonji, taking a break from her entertainment career, is building up her body, and I’m pleased to catch her throwing glances my way.

Even Karin’s stamina stat has gone up a bit.

“Lulu~”

I entered the Training Room, thinking about how to, ahem, train the kids for the afternoon session.

“Hm.”

Something felt off.

Surprisingly, everyone was training on their own. Seohyeonji and Karin were running on the treadmills, Kim Taeyang and Kim Inho were working on their lower bodies and triceps.

‘It’s peaceful?’

Did they still have some energy left? I thought I’d pushed them to the limit.

‘Good, I can push them a little more.’

I smiled contentedly, but something felt off. The kids kept sneaking glances at me.

What’s going on?

That’s when I saw the Dumbbells, which had been neatly arranged, now in total disarray.

These Dumbbells, born to benefit muscles everywhere, used to be lined up by weight in perfect formation. I’m sure they were.

Now, they were a chaotic mess, sizes and weights mixed with no rhyme or reason.

For some reason, my chest felt tight.

“Who….”

“Huff, huff!”

“Huff, huff!”

Everyone was so focused on their training that I felt bad disturbing them.

Well, can’t be helped.

I put down all the Dumbbells. Then, in order, I neatly rearranged them.

“Hm.”

Even after putting them in order, I wasn’t satisfied.

The Stanchrome Barbell and Urethane Barbell were arranged on the right and left, respectively—should I swap their positions?

People usually prefer urethane, but I like the stanchrome type more. Look at how it shimmers under the lights.

The very light of muscle itself.

I put all the Dumbbells down again and started sorting them.

When the lighting matches each Dumbbell’s finish, it’s even more pleasing to look at.

“There.”

I’d spent a lot of precious time that should’ve gone to my dear team members.

Since I need to focus on their management now, I couldn’t waste any more time.

But then, a nagging feeling tapped at my neck.

The source was the Rest Chair.

‘What’s this?’

I saw snack crumbs scattered on it.

Was it Karin? No, Seohyeonji kept snacking, saying she didn’t need to watch calories while on break from showbiz.

She had such a lean body that putting on some weight wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Anyway, time to clean.

But I didn’t see the broom anywhere.

Strange, I’m sure I left it nearby.

“No choice.”

I took the Cleaning Brush from my personal bag.

“Why do you carry something like th—mmph!”

Turning at the odd sound, I saw Kim Inho clamping a hand over Kim Taeyang’s mouth.

They sure have a lot of energy left. Playing weird games, huh.

Looks like I’ll have to sap some of that energy out of them. Thoroughly.

I picked up a sheet of A4 Paper and used the brush to sweep up the crumbs.

A clear and healthy body is home to a clear mind. That’s why your surroundings should be clean, too.

Even in martial arts novels, the masters train under a waterfall to focus their minds and refine themselves.

It’s the same logic.

Clack. Roll, roll.

Then, something rolled on the floor.

“Oh, whoops. I accidentally knocked over the trash—can.”

Kim Taeyang awkwardly delivered his lines.

Crash!

“Oh my, what, Dumbbells aren’t dominoes.”

“….”

The sacredly arranged Dumbbells had collapsed in random directions thanks to Seohyeonji’s hand.

“No broom…what do we do?”

“Guess we’ll have to organize the Dumbbells later. Training comes first right now.”

Kim Taeyang and Seohyeonji’s way of speaking was oddly stiff.

Ah. So that’s what’s going on.

I let out an incredulous laugh. Cute.

Remembering something, I dug into my Inventory and caught Kim Inho’s gaze—he started trembling.

That guy always gets like that when I smile. If I even frown, he’d probably run for it.

I took out a spare Power Suit. Then, I stuffed as many Dumbbells as would fit into the pockets.

“Seohyeonji.”

“Yes?”

“Put this on.”

“…Huh?”

Seohyeonji blinked as I helped her into the Power Suit.

“What are you—urk!”

Suddenly, she collapsed onto the floor under the heavy weight.

Seohyeonji, usually cast as the innocent heroine, now sprawled out like a crab, was quite the sight.

“I, I, can’t take this off?”

“You seemed to have trouble choosing a Dumbbell. I have that problem sometimes too—urethane or chrome, even if the weight is the same, the grip feels different. Depending on the mood, I get indecisive. So I specially put them all in for you. Hahaha.”

“It—it’s so heavy!”

“It is, isn’t it? It should be! That’s the will of the Dumbbells. Remember those guys who went around collecting seven balls? They wore heavy stuff like this and boosted their power levels sky high.”

I turned from the suffering Seohyeonji and looked at Kim Taeyang.

Taeyang flinched, glancing around for a place to escape.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“W-wait a second, Team Leader.”

“I only need a second, too.”

“No, I can’t—”

“Come on, just a sec.”

No broom, so what could I do.

Whoosh.

I grabbed Kim Taeyang and held him upside down, using his hair as a makeshift broom.

Swipe, swipe. Not bad for sweeping.

Before I knew it, Kim Inho had brought over an A4 Paper to use as a dustpan.

Inho’s a sharp guy, after all.

“….”

“…….”

After the commotion, things quieted down.

“Hey, Kim Inho, you… the dustpan….”

“Survival comes first.”

“…….”

Kim Taeyang bowed his head.

Just once—just once, he wanted to fluster the Team Leader.

But somehow, no matter what he did, he’d end up caught in the crossfire.

He couldn’t back down like this.

“Seoyeon….”

“Yes, Broom Oppa.”

Kim Taeyang’s face twitched. But for the sake of a greater goal, he had to endure.

“Team Leader, does he really have no weaknesses?”

If you poked carelessly, you’d just get counterattacked. He wanted to find something Hyunbin couldn’t do.

Seoyeon pretended to ponder at Taeyang’s question.

Since she lived with him, maybe Seoyeon knew at least one or two weaknesses.

They’d just learned about his obsession with tidiness—even if it had landed them broom duty.

“It’s not that I want to boss him around or anything.”

Kim Taeyang muttered.

“I just want to be equals. So that neither of us can be without the other. A relationship where we can’t be without each other!”

As Kim Taeyang spoke, Seoyeon’s expression subtly changed.

“I’m too hungry to think….”

At her words, Taeyang, as if waiting for this, handed over a Choco Bar.

Seoyeon glanced, then unwrapped the Choco Bar, popping it into her mouth and chewing.

“I’m still hungry.”

Taeyang handed over another Choco Bar.

Crunch, crunch. Seoyeon wolfed down the Choco Bars, but there was no way that’d fill her up.

“Take this, too.”

“Ahem.”

Seoyeon smacked her lips at the sight of the Chicken Coupon Taeyang offered. It wasn’t just one, either.

Satisfied, Seoyeon tried to stash the coupons in her shirt, but Taeyang stopped her.

Seoyeon glared in response.

“You really don’t remember?”

Taeyang prompted. Seoyeon, acting smug, spoke.

“Uncle is probably….”

Back when Hyunbin was a hero—

Little Karin had seen countless women approach him, but each time, his expression would turn pale, and women would stop coming near.

“He’s hopeless at romance.”

“Huh…?”

The unexpected answer made Taeyang blink.

Hopeless at romance? If anything, he seemed familiar with it. He’d even made the proud Seohyeonji melt with sweet talk.

“No way.”

“It’s true, though?”

Seoyeon’s words made Seohyeonji, watching from behind, snort.

“Yeah, right. That guy teases and flirts like a pro. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Taeyang was lost in thought.

Everyone has something they can’t do. Like people avoiding certain foods.

But for romance to be his weakness…

How could they exploit that…?

“Oh, that might just work.”

An idea flashed through his mind.

Taeyang grinned with satisfaction.

These days, my appetite is off the charts.

Probably because I get to see my team members every day and, ahem, train them.

I’m not doing this for myself.

Back in school, my mom would say, “Do your homework! Are you doing it for me?” Of course, she’d benefit from it, but still.

“Thank you for your hard work today, everyone. Anyone up for another round…?”

As I entered the Training Room, everyone was gathered in the Rest Chair area, focused on something.

“I know we’re done for the day, but is anyone up for another round? I was thinking, maybe some Jujitsu this time… What are you doing?”

No one answered, as if they hadn’t heard me. That was a first.

“Whoa, you’re like a love master! Amazing!”

What were they doing in front of the computer?

“Taeyang, you’re unexpectedly good at this kind of thing, huh?”

A 2D character on the monitor was blushing.

Soon, a “Success” message filled the screen, like fireworks going off.

“What’s this?”

“Oh, Team Leader. We’re just taking a break to cool off.”

To cool off, huh?

Looking closer, I saw what they were doing.

A so-called Romance Simulation Game.

I don’t play these, but I get the gist.

It’s content filled with vain delusions and desires, seeking virtual girls you can’t meet in real life.

Training was over, so I couldn’t really say anything. But a blond, tanned punk playing a Romance Simulation?

Does he even realize how out of character that is for him?

“Taeyang. Inho.”

“Yes.”

“Why are perfectly normal guys like you playing this? Go outside. Find real girlfriends. Right?”

“…….”

“…….”

The two stared at me, as if asking if I had any conscience.

Ah, come to think of it, I was the one who wouldn’t let them out. Dragging them out for morning runs at the crack of dawn…

“Team Leader, this is all the rage nowadays.”

“It’s got a VR Function that syncs with real-time, and the characters are so realistic and varied that it’s huge on SNS. There’s a female version and a male version, so the possibilities are endless.”

You really like this stuff?

The girl on the monitor was raising her clasped hands to her chest, looking expectant.

“Didn’t you say you were almost a professional gamer? No wonder you were good at strategy games before. This is the latest trend—aren’t you good at these, too?”

What does being a professional gamer have to do with Romance Simulation Games?

Different genre entirely.

But as a gamer, I was a little curious.

[Where should we go now?]

1. Maybe just a little longer…? Will you stay with me?
2. Want to go out for ramen?
3. It’s late, I’ll call you tomorrow.

Is this supposed to be a trick question? The answer is obvious.

“It’s number three. It’s late. You should get home before you lose muscle gains.”

[You’re mean… I was looking forward to it…]

Huh?

The girl character turned away with a deeply disappointed face.

“Ah… Team Leader, the best answer there is to go out for ramen.”

“Wait, it’s past 11 PM and you want ramen?”

I must have looked truly baffled.

Kim Taeyang and Kim Inho exchanged glances.

At last, they’d found something their Team Leader couldn’t do.