The day was drizzly, with dark clouds stacked high as if a storm was imminent, yet the rain refused to fall.
I stepped away from the window, slung my old shoulder bag—covered in patches—over my shoulder, took the small pink flowered umbrella Su Xixia handed me, and opened the door.
“How embarrassing.”
“Who told you to lose your own umbrella? A grown man using a woman’s umbrella and carrying that ragged bag… your new coworkers are going to laugh themselves to death, hahahaha.”
Su Xixia patted the floral pattern on the umbrella and couldn’t stop laughing.
She had lent me this umbrella, and the bag was something she had sewn back together just a few days ago.
I really didn’t know how she managed to restore fabric that seemed ready to crumble at a single poke.
“I’ll just brag about it when the time comes. I’ll tell them the one at my place prepared all of this,” I said, holding the bag and umbrella high.
“Fine! You’re so shameless! Go, just go!”
She turned her face away and shoved me out the door, closing it with a *bang*.
The new company was located in the old district.
There were no skyscrapers there; instead, it was filled with small bridges and flowing water, radiating a retro and aesthetic atmosphere.
It was my favorite part of the city.
When I stepped out of the subway, the rain was a light pitter-patter.
I opened my umbrella and looked at the white walls and black tiles on both sides, listening to the crisp sound of raindrops hitting the river.
I admired the scenery, while the passersby admired me.
Strange looks and whispers followed in my wake, making my steps instinctively stiffen.
With the deadline approaching, I finally turned into a small alley and reached the office area behind the retro commercial street.
Large floor-to-ceiling windows replaced the walls, giving the place a slightly modern feel.
The company was very small and didn’t even have a front desk.
Stepping through the automatic doors led directly into the workspace.
The HR representative was waiting for me.
She glanced at my umbrella and bag, letting out a soft chuckle.
“You’re here. Sister You is waiting for you.”
She led me into the department manager’s office.
A woman sitting behind a mahogany desk stood up and walked toward me.
It was the same boss who had interviewed me before.
We locked eyes for several seconds.
Beneath those deep brown colored contacts was a hint of concern.
Her straight nose exuded an unquestionable aura of elegance, and her deep red lips were pressed firmly together, looking mature and beautiful.
Her appearance made me instinctively wonder about her age.
‘Maybe she’s only slightly older than me?’
I was the first to look away.
“Hello,” I greeted her with a bow.
“Hello. Is this outfit some kind of new trend?”
“Uh… what?”
“The umbrella is very pretty, and the bag is quite unique.”
I froze for 1 second after hearing those unexpected words, only then realizing she was joking to ease the atmosphere and accommodate my nervousness.
“Yes. This umbrella, and the bag… the one at my place prepared them.”
I couldn’t let Xixia down.
With that thought in mind, I showed off the shoulder bag and the umbrella.
“Wow, no wonder the craftsmanship is so good. You can tell it was sewn with a lot of heart.”
The HR rep leaned over to inspect the bag, looking quite interested.
The momentary furrowing of the supervisor’s brow did not escape my eyes.
“The one at your place? …Hmm. Are all the documents ready? Give them to HR and then come back to see me. You may leave for now.”
Her tone shifted from gentle to icy, instantly snuffing out my pride.
She turned around, her sleek, smooth ponytail swinging behind her like the tail of an angry horse.
HR looked slightly awkward as she ushered me out.
“Sister You is really something else.”
Once we were in the HR office, she muttered softly and gave me a bright smile.
“Hey handsome, my name is Yu Qian. I’m younger than you, so just call me Yu.”
“Hello, Yu. I’m Li Mingshan.”
Her enthusiastic gaze made me a bit embarrassed.
After all, she had a clear complexion, trendy curly hair, and a petite, cute appearance.
‘Since she’s younger than me, she must be a recent college graduate.’
“Mhm. Give me your materials first, and take a look at the employee handbook. Once you’re done, Sister You will take you to your workstation. By the way, she’s your boss… she’s usually a very good person.”
She hesitated for half a second, offering a forced smile on behalf of her superior.
“Okay, it’s fine.”
Nervousness clouded my brain.
While blaming myself for messing up the meeting with my boss, I mechanically went through the onboarding process.
By the time I came to my senses, I was at my desk.
The hallway was to my left, and my boss sat to my right.
She quickly moved her chair over to my side, and a rich fragrance wafted toward me.
A slender hand with pink nail polish handed me an employee ID card.
It read: “Mo You,” “Manager of Publicity Department,” “Contact Information…”
“Sister Mo You, I’ll be in your care from now on.”
I bowed repeatedly.
“Not at all, I’m the one who will be relying on your skills. I chose you because of your ability; don’t let me down, Li Mingshan.”
“Yes, of course! I definitely won’t!”
“I will only explain the job responsibilities once, so listen carefully.”
She didn’t crack a single smile.
Pulling out a small white board and a pen, she began explaining the work details and the basic knowledge I needed to master with lightning speed.
I had no chance to think about anything else.
Just keeping up with her was difficult enough.
‘If she’s doing this on purpose, she really holds a grudge…’
Near noon, a sudden clap of thunder caught my attention.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a red pen.
The red pen was a bit thick, and she used it to draw a conspicuous red circle on the notebook.
As I noted the content within the circle, a thought flashed through my mind that I had seen this red circle somewhere before.
‘It must be an illusion.’
I forced myself to focus on the work.
***
“See you tomorrow, Brother Li!”
“Goodbye.”
“Say hello to your wife for me, hahahaha!”
It was raining heavily when I left work.
Thanks to the umbrella and the bag, I had gotten along well with my colleagues.
Everyone gathered at the door to say their goodbyes.
On the way back, the *tap-tap* of raindrops hitting the umbrella made me feel restless.
Rainwater seeped into my worn-out sneakers, making the soles of my feet feel cold enough to freeze.
The only person I hadn’t managed to build a good relationship with was Mo You.
The smile she had worn when we first met that morning never reappeared before I clocked out.
Was it the umbrella?
Or the bag?
Or “the woman at home”?
Which point had made her feel displeased?
I still couldn’t figure it out by the time I pushed open my front door.
“Hard work—whoa! You’re soaked through! Don’t come in, I just mopped the floor! Wait a second, I’ll go get a towel.”
As I smelled the scent on Su Xixia’s body and was subsequently wrapped in a warm towel, I temporarily gave up on thinking.
***
Later that evening, I took a bite of a puffed pancake, and a wet, salty taste exploded in my mouth.
What was this?!
“Ugh…”
I couldn’t help but set the pancake down, watching the salty water seep out.
“Oh, right. I added too much water when I steamed them today. Eat it, don’t waste it!”
Sitting next to me, Su Xixia kicked my shin from the side.
It hurt a little.
“Since you made it, I’ll eat it.”
I picked up the pancake and stuffed it into my mouth haphazardly.
“Hmph! Smooth-talker. Who taught you those flirtatious words?”
“I’ve been wronged! Haven’t I eaten all the pancakes you made before? I’m just telling the truth.”
I thought this would resolve her questioning, but she simply moved her chair, turned around, and kicked me hard in the thigh.
*Screech—* My chair scraped against the floor, making a piercing noise.
What was going on?
What was with today?!
Even she was looking for a fight?
Anger flared in my heart.
In a fit of rage, I grabbed her calf and began to rub it.
“Xixia, are you angry?”
“Li Mingshan, let me ask you! Do you like me or not?”
She extended her leg, resting her bare foot on my thigh.
Her rounded toes, coated in beads of sweat, pointed directly at my face, and the heat rose to my collar.
Why was she asking this?
Had she discovered something?
She shouldn’t know about the things between me and An Zhi yet.
Was it finally time to confess to her?
No, I should observe a little longer…
“Cleaning up today must have been hard. I’ll massage your leg more.”
I worked even harder to massage her.
“A leg rub isn’t enough! Hey!!”
She gripped the back of her chair and swung her foot, stepping directly onto my cheek.
A hot, damp sensation mixed with moisture immediately hit the back of my head.
Fortunately, it was just a bit salty.
“You don’t need it?”
I asked, my mouth twisted.
“Since you want to know so badly, then lick it! Wasn’t there an ancient saying about a foot-licking ceremony? Lick me clean! Show me your loyalty!”
“That’s a foot-kissing ceremony… not…”
“I DON’T CARE!!”
The tactile sensation became even more intense.
The constant pressure made my vision begin to distort.
Her fair face started to crumble, and between her parted lips, rows of fangs seemed to appear.
It was just like that time—
She and the other girls had pushed me into a filthy stall in the girls’ restroom.
With a similar smile on her face, she had pressed the sole of her foot—clad in a blackened white cotton sock from gym class—against my chest.
“Does it smell good? You were teased by those boys today because you ran last, weren’t you?! You should thank me, because I took the initiative to punish you on their behalf, so you escaped a beating!”
“Or is being stepped on by a girl’s dirty foot even more embarrassing like this?! Hahahaha—”
She laughed along with the other girls, her mouth open to reveal fangs as she mocked me incessantly.
She left one damp, dirty footprint after another on my white school uniform.
The sour smell that had filled my nostrils back then, a nauseating scent that I had hidden deep in my mind long ago, was being drawn back to the surface by the warm, soft sole of her foot.
“Ugh—*bleargh*! *Gack*—”
I had to get revenge.
This kind of humiliation… I had to retaliate against her!
No matter the method, no matter the consequences… I had to have revenge!
I couldn’t control my racing heart.
A violent surge of nausea hit me, and food residue poured out of my throat.
My entire face felt like it was burning.
“*Vomit*—!”
“Hey! Li Mingshan, what’s wrong! You stingy jerk, I don’t need you to lick it anymore, okay! Hey, calm down! Ah—!”
My whole body was in a frenzy.
I wiped the vomit from the corner of my mouth, not even knowing what I was doing.
When I came to my senses, I had already pinned Su Xixia beneath me, holding her down firmly.
In my vision was her aggrieved face, filled with tears.
“I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
I apologized desperately.
Did I hate her?
I did.
Did I like her?
She was the one who pulled me out of the abyss, so… did I like her?
After being seduced by her, I had done that kind of thing to her again after many years.
Did I like her?
Did I?
In the end…
“It’s okay, I went too far. The things from the past… I thought they were all over.”
She murmured, two tears rolling down her cheeks.
“No! It’s all in the past. It’s just… I’m sorry, I still need time to sort out my feelings.”
Only then did I realize that those old events were still a hurdle between us that was difficult to cross.
The sound of rain didn’t stop until late at night.
Not long after, the returning moonlight filtered through the window, illuminating the side of my pillow.
I quietly pulled the long-hidden photo frame from beneath my pillow.
The photo of An Zhi and me inside was still smooth.
Suddenly, I noticed that the photo was slightly crooked, and the clasp of the frame was a bit loose.
It seemed she had discovered it.
If I had kept it with me, would I have been able to keep hiding it?