“…Liana?”
Cecilia’s startled voice called out to me. Evan and Harkins also stared at me, their eyes filled with disbelief as if they had misheard.
“It’s a total mess.”
I muttered blankly. My face and hands were burning. A faint, stinging pain, like an electric current, pricked at my fingertips.
Ah… As my dazed mind slowly grew accustomed to the silence, the horror dwelling within it finally surfaced.
‘Why… why did I do that?’
I was screwed. It was a slip of the tongue — a massive one!
But it was like seeing a fire and screaming, “Fire!” Looking at this disaster, I couldn’t help but call it what it was. My heart felt as if it had dropped all the way to my toes. A chilling tension wrapped around my body.
However, I couldn’t take back the words I had already spat out. No, I didn’t want to. My entire being seemed to reject the idea of an apology. Whether it was reckless or not, it was the truth!
“You heard right… so there’s no need to look at me like that.”
I needed to stay calm. It was a mess, wasn’t it? No matter if they were at the academy as students, the Crown Prince’s aide was talking back to him, shouting, and ignoring orders.
If a situation where someone is told to stop but causes an even bigger scene isn’t a mess, then what is? Even the capital’s marketplace would be less noisy than this. I completely ignored the sharp gazes stinging my cheek and spoke in a gentle voice.
“Cecilia, is your cheek okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yes… ow.”
Cecilia nodded, saying she was fine, but she winced as she touched her cheek, her face crumpling into a pout.
“I’m glad to hear that. I’ll be heading back now. Take your time resting before you come.”
Everything Harkins had said was utter nonsense. And sadly, there is no way to win against nonsense. Even responding felt like it was beneath me, so I just wanted to leave. I was exhausted, and my head was throbbing. Conversations and arguments are meant to be had with people who actually listen.
“Liana! Why aren’t you saying anything? I know it’s not true, but what if Master Harkins keeps thinking that way…? Master Harkins, Liana didn’t—”
“It’s fine. Why does his opinion matter so much?”
“Liana, why are you talking like that?”
“I’ll be going now.”
“I’ll walk you back. Let’s go together,” Evan said, putting on his coat.
“Is this what you call manners?” Harkins barked.
“Liana. What’s wrong all of a sudden? Hmm? You’re not the type of person to speak so recklessly…”
Cecilia’s voice was wavering on the verge of tears.
“…’All of a sudden’?”
I was trying to ignore Harkins’s pathetic provocation, Evan’s offer to escort me, and Cecilia’s whimpering to just get out of there, but that one phrase bothered me.
Was it really “all of a sudden”? Was I not supposed to act like this? Both before and after my regression, I had simply been enduring everything.
“I see.”
It had been exhausting enough trying to maintain an elegant, detached attitude toward everyone else’s business. Acting as a mere mediator and hovering around while pretending not to crave attention had been the best I could do back then.
Stepping forward like today to resolve things and even getting into a verbal spat was certainly unlike me. After all, I was always the person who endured and never stepped up. That was the version of Liana that everyone knew — the “supporting character.”
Ugh. I felt like I was going to throw up.
“I asked if this is what you call manners! Are you just going to leave with that nonchalant face after saying something as rude as calling this a ‘mess’? Are nobles always this shameless? Because of you, so many people are exhausted—”
“Harkins. Did you not hear me tell you to stop?”
I stayed quiet to see how far he would go, but Evan cut Harkins off. Only then did Harkins’s thin lips quiver as he fell silent, staring at Evan’s frozen, cold expression. Still, his cheeks trembled as if he had just eaten something disgusting. He looked like he was ready to spit out more words at any moment. He looked like a venomous snake.
Why…?
‘Is Evan walking on eggshells?’
It felt like Evan was being cautious.
“…Both of you, stop. Harkins, didn’t I tell you not to mention it?”
“T-That’s right, Master Harkins… I’m fine. Liana, you stop, too. Okay? Why are you so angry? Is it because of the mistake I made earlier? I’m really sorry. I won’t cause you any trouble.”
“What do you mean, ‘so many people are exhausted’ because of me?”
They were definitely hiding something. Evan’s anger clearly had something to do with whatever they were keeping secret. Did it involve the fact that he asked Harkins to look after Cecilia?
“You said you were best friends! How can you talk about causing trouble or not?! Lady Cecilia agonized so fiercely for your sake, Lady Liana!”
“Master Harkins! Stop it, please…! That’s not it!”
Harkins looked like he couldn’t take it anymore. My heart, which had dropped to my toes earlier, began to throb as if it were finding its place again, and my blood began to pump through my veins.
Tolerating the dizziness that now felt familiar — a byproduct of my regression — I opened my eyes wide. Harkins’s one-sided accusations echoed in my head.
Had I ever faced a conflict so clearly? Strangely, at this very moment, I felt most vividly that I had truly returned to the past. This unfamiliarity felt against my skin, and this confrontation — similar yet different in its dynamics — seemed to shatter the vague peace I had felt, reminding me that this was reality.
“What on earth do you think of Lady Cecilia! Lady Cecilia did everything for you—”
“Master Harkins! Don’t say it. We agreed not to mention that matter!”
Cecilia’s panicked voice cut him off. She looked at me, appearing completely at a loss.
‘What matter, exactly?’
I couldn’t follow Harkins’s excessive emotional display. The anger that flared up moment by moment seemed to freeze cold as I listened to the words he spat out in his excitement. It felt strange, as if I were detached from the situation. Like I was watching a play… It was bizarre.
“Damn it! Lady Cecilia, don’t you see? Why are you just taking this!”
“Harkins, stop! What a pathetic display.”
Evan raised his voice for the first time. At his powerful warning, Harkins finally shut his mouth. His shoulders heaved as his agitation had yet to subside.
“I don’t know what you supposedly did for me, but…”
My voice came out steady and refined, without any highs or lows.
“I find this highly unpleasant.”
So this was why Evan’s gaze kept drifting toward me earlier. What kind of conversation had the three of them had about me? But why would that be for my sake? Was I just an excuse they needed for their conversation?
Suppressing the sharp feeling rising within me, I looked at Cecilia.
“Cecilia, will you tell me?”
“Liana…”
Cecilia bit her lip and shook her head as if she couldn’t say. Her tear-streaked face was pitiful and heartbreaking, but more than that, I felt a deep sense of wrongness. The strange feeling I had been sensing all day swirled around my feet. It felt like it was slowly rising to swallow me whole. But I didn’t know what it was.
“Say it here! There’s no need to hold back!”
‘Fine! Say it here. Let me in on this great secret of yours.’
Behind Harkins’s exploding voice, the sound of Evan stomping his foot echoed loudly.
“Harkins. Seriously, how many times do I have to say it? I told you to stop.”
“But—!”
“…….”
Harkins recoiled under Evan’s murderous gaze. However, he still looked aggrieved, as if he believed he was right until the very end.
Wow. I was getting pissed off. Should I just hit him?
Ugh….
What was that? Just now, something in my hand….
*Beep— beep—*
Wait… things have been strange for a bit. Didn’t I just hear a sound?
“But, Lady Cecilia—”
“It is not a story to be mentioned so recklessly.”
The unyielding Harkins was still arguing with Evan. Cecilia was quietly wiping her tears. There was no end to the bickering. Especially when with these three, even a light situation never ended easily. At this rate, we might spend the whole night in the infirmary.
‘I need to clean up this mess.’
I clenched and unclenched my hands, staring straight at Evan, who had a complicated expression.
“Your Highness.”
A heavy fatigue seemed to cling to every part of my body, but strangely, my mind was becoming clearer.
“One of the things I hate most—”
I gazed into Evan’s eyes as if exploring them. I didn’t know what you all discussed among yourselves, but making assumptions and acting on my behalf, claiming it’s for my own sake?
“—is people making assumptions and acting on my behalf, claiming it’s for my own sake.”
That’s all just for your own self-satisfaction.
Evan and I looked directly at each other. Unable to contain his anger, Harkins gripped the bed railing as if he were going to break it. Before Evan could even respond, Harkins opened his mouth.
‘Oh, honestly.’
“Why would you take someone’s sincerity—”
Seeing Harkins, whose pale face was turning red as he tried to argue until the end, made my head spin.
“Harkins.”
“……?”
“Why do you keep butting in?”
The sudden drop to informal speech made Harkins flinch.
“Who do you think you are?”
I didn’t stop.
“Who the hell are you to meddle in my relationship with Cecilia?”
“Liana?”
Cecilia looked at me with a startled voice. I didn’t look at her; I only stared at Harkins. Jumping in the middle, saying things I couldn’t understand, criticizing me, and cornering me. Why did he keep making a mountain out of a molehill?
“Speak up. I need to hear the reason why you’re doing this.”
“…….”
Harkins couldn’t answer. He looked shocked and somehow flustered.
‘He was so good at picking fights just a moment ago, so what’s with him now?’
“Enough, Liana. I’ll explain.”
Evan called out to me. A brief flash of surprise crossed Evan’s eyes, soon replaced by an apology. His complexion looked a bit better than before as he sighed. He took his hand away from his temple and tried to stop me.
Harkins kept his mouth shut.
“Prince Evan……!”
Cecilia shook her head and called his name, as if pleading with him not to speak. Her watery, blue eyes wavered as if they were about to swallow him whole.
‘Ugh. Again… what is this?’
My palm stung. I wondered if the blood wasn’t circulating because I was too tense, so I hid my hand behind my back and massaged it.
“Your Highness.”
I caught his attention. If he stared too long into Cecilia’s eyes, which possessed a strange power to enchant people, it was obvious Evan would change his mind immediately.
“You can’t hide it forever, can you? Especially since I’m the one involved.”
At my cold voice, Evan finally managed to pull his gaze away from Cecilia.
“Right. We can’t keep it hidden forever.”
Evan reached out his hand as if suggesting we go outside to talk.
“Harkins.”
“……Yes.”
“I will reprimand you for today’s events.”
“Yes.”
“Take Cecilia back safely.”
Evan’s gaze lingered on Cecilia for a long time.
“…Yes.”
Harkins’s delayed response echoed through the infirmary. I stared at Evan’s hand for a moment before shifting my gaze to Harkins, who was helping Cecilia up. When I looked at him, Harkins stopped and stared back. His face was set as hard as a rock.
“Harkins.”
“……What is it.”
“I apologize for speaking informally. However, this is your responsibility as well, so I hope you’ll be careful in the future.”
“…Careful of what?”
“Stop being so rude. Otherwise, I’ll have no choice but to treat you the same way, won’t I?”
After finishing with a bright smile, I turned around sharply. The hem of my dress dragged noisily across the infirmary floor.
“Let’s go.”
As I turned away, there was neither a smile nor even a hint of warmth on my face. I ignored Evan’s hand and brushed past him, walking out of the infirmary door first.
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