The moment the cold wind brushed against my face, I felt as if I could finally breathe again.
Perhaps it was the same for Evan, as I heard a heavy sigh from above my head. Peeking at him, I saw him pressing his fingers against his temples, as if a lingering headache still plagued him.
‘Ah. I forgot to return it to Margaret.’
I fiddled with the shawl Margaret had wrapped around me.
The sun was setting. The grass was stained reddish, and the leaves were scorched by the sunset. The cold wind ruffled the hem of my skirt.
“That belongs to Margaret,” Evan said, walking beside me, sounding a bit surprised.
“She lent it to me.”
“The shawl? Ah. Your coat must still be in the garden, Lyanna.”
The wind rattled the leaves of the trees.
“Let’s head that way first.”
“Yes.”
I followed him, assuming he wanted to finish our conversation there. For a while, only the sound of our footsteps echoed.
Early-blooming Puschkinia trembled, boasting its six-petaled blue leaves. Soon, spring flowers would break through the frozen earth and fill the garden. Flowers that had bloomed on their own, without the help of magic.
My heart still felt as if it were pounding.
‘Stop being so rude.’
Recalling the words I had just hurled at Hakins, the resentment I had been harboring seemed to ease, if only a little.
It was when we entered the small labyrinth garden that Evan finally spoke.
“Why did you bring Margaret?”
I thought we were going to talk about the ‘secret’ that had sparked our debate in the infirmary, but Evan’s question was unexpected.
Unlike his soft voice, his gaze was cold. Evan’s deep green eyes looked dark as the sun went down. Like a forest submerged in shadows.
“I didn’t want the relationship between the two of you to be ruined.”
Evan’s intense stare seemed to ask, ‘Is that all?’
“… Your Highness.”
“You are calling me ‘Your Highness’ again.”
“Do you believe that everything that went wrong in the garden today was Margaret’s fault?”
“……”
Evan didn’t answer.
He surely knew. He knew that anyone would find such a sight unbearable, and given Margaret’s personality, the fact that she had endured it for that long was remarkable.
Therefore, he also knew that he should have stepped in sooner.
“Your Highness. If the two of you truly get engaged after spring passes, Cecilia won’t be the only one in a difficult position. I thought it would be best to avoid creating uncomfortable situations between one another, and I believed that if Margaret apologized, the situation would be resolved. However…”
I didn’t expect to see such a sight.
My own face felt hot and embarrassed just thinking about it. So how must Margaret have felt?
I paused for a moment before continuing.
“I didn’t realize you and Cecilia were being so affectionate. Naturally, Margaret was angry… and the outcome I had envisioned was ruined.”
I didn’t hide my regret as I decided to ask the question I was curious about.
“Your Highness.”
“……”
“Do you… like Cecilia?”
My low question was cast into the labyrinth.
Even though I knew it was rude, I had no choice but to ask. My exhaled breath trembled. For a second, I felt ridiculous for being so nervous.
Perhaps the simple reason for this tension was that I had been treated like a side character. Because he liked Cecilia, and because he only had eyes for her. That was why it was natural for me to be pushed aside by everyone.
In truth, I already knew the answer without hearing it. However, the reason I asked so abruptly was because Margaret was on my mind.
“I wonder.”
It was a draining answer.
Was the engagement with Margaret going to proceed just like it had before my regression?
Their engagement hadn’t been broken back then. I didn’t know if it was because Margaret had been extremely patient, or if the Imperial Family simply hadn’t allowed it.
Or perhaps he intended to keep Cecilia only as a lover?
Margaret as the wife, and Cecilia as the beloved mistress…
It wasn’t an unheard-of story among the nobility, but it was a despicable and unpleasant one.
“Your Highness.”
“What answer do you want to hear?”
His voice sounded annoyed. He pressed his eyebrows together as if his head hurt. It felt as if a new wrinkle had formed on his forehead.
“I am merely worried as a member of a noble family. Isn’t it better to avoid unnecessary gossip?”
Evan closed his eyes and pressed his forehead for a long time.
“… Is your headache severe?”
His complexion was pale enough to be concerning. Evan, who rarely showed signs of pain, seemed to complain of headaches strangely often since I returned. Had his headaches been this frequent before the regression?
“I don’t like it when people change the subject.”
“……”
Evan took his hand away from his face and looked down at me.
His expression seemed to maintain a certain distance. His smile, as smooth as a mask, felt colder than ever.
Ah. He was always this kind of man.
The kind of person who rarely let anyone inside his boundaries. I was likely someone standing far outside those lines, both then and now.
Blinking slowly, I put on a polite smile.
“I apologize, Your Highness. I asked a presumptuous question. It is none of my business… I will refrain from such comments.”
“… Lyanna Credere.”
A crack appeared in Evan’s cold smile.
He froze and stared at me. At a glance, it almost looked like he was glaring.
‘Let’s just ask what I need to know.’
“What is it that Cecilia said she did for me?” I asked self-deprecatingly.
“……”
“The ‘secret’ you mentioned must be related to me as well. Please tell me.”
I was curious about what taking good care of Cecilia had to do with me.
“Lyanna.”
Evan sighed, hesitating as if it were difficult to speak.
“If it’s because of me, I can explain to Margaret on your behalf…”
“Stop!”
I flinched in surprise.
Seeing my reaction, Evan looked as if he realized his mistake, then narrowed his brows and let out a deep sigh. A rare anger was etched on his face. I just blinked, not knowing the reason.
“Lyanna, are you always like this?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did I ask you for a favor? Or did Margaret?”
“What… “
Evan took a step toward me. He leaned down and looked at me intently.
The sun had set, and the labyrinth was dark as the light didn’t reach it well. Evan’s expression was hard to see in the shadows. Only his burning gaze, fixed on me, was vivid.
“I’m asking if I requested a reconciliation.”
“… No.”
Ah, he’s angry because I interfered. I lowered my gaze.
“Ha.”
His low sigh brushed against the crown of my head.
“Lyanna. Look at me.”
“……”
I slowly raised my head.
Evan’s eyes followed me obsessively. I couldn’t understand the meaning behind that look.
“Lyanna. You still don’t understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you only interested in those around you while being so indifferent to yourself?”
“?”
‘What is he talking about? I’ve been thinking of nothing but myself since I returned.’
“Haaa. This is driving me crazy.”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“I can see why Cecilia was worried.”
“… Cecilia?”
Worried? What reason would Cecilia have to worry about me?
We were clearly talking to each other, but it felt like we were oddly out of sync.
“Fine. Since I decided to tell you.”
“……”
“What should I tell you first?”
I wouldn’t know even if you asked me that.
“Right. It’s better to start with what you might be curious about. It is true that the gist of my request to Hakins was to ‘take good care of Cecilia.’ To be precise, it was, ‘Cecilia is worried about Lyanna, so you, Hakins, take good care of Cecilia so she doesn’t overexert herself.'”
“… I have no idea what that means.”
“……”
“Is there any reason for Cecilia to be concerned about me? And… is there even less reason for the three of you to discuss that?”
Evan wiped his face. He began to speak with a much calmer expression.
“The riding accident was suspicious. Everyone thought so.”
“The riding accident?”
“Professor Brianna investigated, but she couldn’t find the exact cause.”
“……”
“We thought someone might have pushed you, or that you might have fallen on your own. Nothing could be seen through the dust.”
I didn’t remember what happened then. I had been excited, enchanted by the thrill of a fast-galloping horse, but then I lost consciousness and woke up in the infirmary.
“Lyanna. When you were unconscious, Cecilia said… that you… “
Why was Crown Prince Evan, who usually spoke so fluently and softly, hesitating like this?
“… that you had made ‘that’ sort of attempt.”
“… Who? Me?”
Ah. So this was the reason for his hesitation.
I felt hollow at the carefully spoken words, but I also felt a surge of anger.
“Me? That I made ‘that’ kind of attempt?”
I pointed at myself and laughed, and Evan reached out as if to grab my hand.
“Lyanna. Calm down.”
I took a step back and avoided his hand. When I glared at him, Evan’s face hardened into a mask.
I had died once, but I had never made ‘that’ sort of attempt. I felt like I needed to return to the dormitory and ask Cecilia what on earth she had been saying.
“And so?”
“It’s nothing much. We just decided to keep a close eye on you.”
“So Your Highness believed it too? That I would make ‘that’ sort of attempt… Without knowing anything about me, you just made an assumption.”
“I was only worried.”
“Then don’t worry! Because I want to live more than anyone else. Ah, I suppose you also guessed that I would find this extremely unpleasant?”
These weren’t the kind of words that should come from someone who would leave a dying person in a carriage. It was laughable.
“I had no choice but to worry. Not just because of that incident, but because you, Lyanna, seemed excessively sensitive.”
“……”
‘A person who cares this much about others would leave a dying person behind?’
For a moment, I wanted to forget everything and grab him by the collar. I wanted to ask if Cecilia was the only one he could see. He had acted as if only Cecilia existed in the infirmary, so why was he doing this now!
“I am originally prickly and sensitive.”
“Lyanna.”
“Oh. I also love bossing people around.”
I remembered the time we met when I went on an errand for Madam Pelorten. Evan’s eyes had sparkled with interest as he said, “You’re different from the rumors.”
“Lyanna. Have you been holding onto those words?”
“Who knows?”
I might be holding onto much more than that.
I felt like no further conversation was necessary.
“I’ll be going now. There’s no need for worry, so if you need a topic of interest, read a magazine. It might be less interesting since it’s not about fellow Academy students, but it should be perfect for killing time.”
In the capital, he had looked pale while telling me not to read scandalous articles, but now that he was at the Academy, it was disappointing to hear him speak of ‘such things.’
“Are you saying I brought this up just to chew on some juicy rumor?”
I could feel suppressed anger in Evan’s calm voice.
“Your Highness. Whether it’s true or not, it has nothing to do with me.”
“Lyanna. You are too defensive. You refuse to accept even the smallest bit of help. I can’t tell what you’re thinking behind that smiling face.”
“There is no need for Your Highness to know that.”
“Let me ask one thing. Are you certain you really have no intention of doing that?”
Evan, who had been rubbing his eyebrows, took his hand away and asked. In the dim shadows of the garden, only his eyes seemed to glow brightly. Evan was serious.
“I… want to live more than anyone else. I don’t know why I have to say this to Your Highness, though.”
“Right… then I’m relieved.”
Evan wiped his face as if he were truly relieved.
“Do you know what kind of person is the most frightening?”
His face contorted briefly as if in pain. It was a minute change in expression that anyone else might have missed.
“It’s the person who says they’re fine every time. Because those people are never actually fine.”
His voice was low and damp, as if soaked by rain.
“Like my sister.”
Standing right beside me, Evan carefully reached out and gripped my arm.
I thought I was just unpleasant and angry, and that I was fine… but my body was trembling minutely, as if it had reached its limit.