The light shimmered on the water beneath the South Ring Bridge.
The normally calm river rippled in the cold wind, shattering the golden light cast by the sun into dancing waves that occasionally became blindingly bright.
Su Xixia fumbled her way out of the subway exit near the bridge.
‘It should be here,’ she whispered to herself to ease her fear.
Stepping through a gap in the corrugated metal fence, she walked forward one step at a time.
She had been near this area before, but she would always lose her way as soon as she got off the bus.
The low roar from the thick, hard steel cables of the bridge used to terrify her.
After coming here once with Li Mingshan, she finally knew the general direction and immediately found an opportunity to return.
After walking a short distance inside, she saw a photo studio building that was noticeably more luxurious than the surrounding structures.
‘Is this the place?’
She peered inside from the entrance.
“Hey, beauty, do you need something here?”
A rough-looking security guard stepped out from the guardroom.
“Wah!?… That… um… is there a Practice Room here? The kind for streamers?”
She steadied her voice and asked.
“Practice Room? Yeah, it’s on the third floor. Sorry, Miss, but we aren’t letting anyone in for now.”
The guard’s face was piled with a smile, his eyes unconsciously drifting downward.
“Beauty? How about we add each other on WeChat? When you can go in—”
“That An Zhi is right inside. Good…”
Su Xixia muttered to herself and turned to leave.
She didn’t need to listen to the guard. In her eyes, there were countless ways to get inside if she really wanted to.
Trying to negotiate with a security guard was the height of stupidity.
As she quickly walked back toward the subway entrance, an unconscious smile played on her lips.
‘I should go buy groceries now, just like before,’ she thought, her pace becoming light.
***
As afternoon approached, I ran all the way home from the subway entrance, unable to stop panting heavily.
Now was not the time to rest.
I had to find Su Xixia and demand an explanation.
I twisted the doorknob, and it let out a creak.
‘Is the door locked?’
I opened the door with my key and found no one inside.
The slight sunlight shining in couldn’t suppress the chill; it was nearly as cold inside as it was outside.
I was one step too late.
Su Xixia must have gone to buy groceries.
There was nothing I could do about that.
After sitting on the bed for a brief rest, I surveyed the room and stood up to search the places I usually didn’t touch.
Under the bed, in the desk drawers, in the inner side of the wardrobe, and the gap behind the refrigerator—I pulled everything out, leaving the floor in a messy heap.
As time passed, I scoured every place I could think of in the house.
To my surprise, these nooks and crannies were exceptionally clean.
They were all marked by Su Xixia’s cleaning, with almost no dust to be found.
Thinking about it, Su Xixia had already cleaned the entire house while she was here.
Could there be any place left?
I took out the paper You had given me and spread out the newspaper to check the positions corresponding to each word.
Under the article for “Longing,” there was an account of an International Relationship couple meeting again and giving each other a valuable gift.
‘A valuable gift…’
Looking further down, there was an article about the South Ring being “closed,” followed by a “recommended view” and a promotional piece about the opening of the “end” of the subway line…
‘This must be the lead-in for the Recruitment Information later.’
I thought about it, but I could hardly find a clue.
The place in my house with the deepest connection to An Zhi…
Whether it was a “closed” drawer or whatever the “end” might represent, I had searched the depths of every space…
Could I still not find it?
I wandered around the cramped space until my head felt heavy and dizzy.
Thinking I would go out to catch the cold wind, I stepped out and took my old shoes from the shoe rack.
A bit of dust drifted out from inside…
The amount of dust wasn’t much.
It seemed that although Su Xixia had cleaned it, it had been a while since the last time.
In an instant, a thought flashed through my mind.
I reached my hand deep into the shoe rack and felt a small drawer on the side.
‘Right! How did I not think of that? This shoe rack is also part of my home!’
And inside that drawer… was where An Zhi used to keep her dance shoes.
Because the shoes were expensive, she had specially installed a small lock.
Both she and I had a key.
I pulled the handle of the first drawer and found it wouldn’t budge.
I felt a mix of shock and joy.
While pulling the keychain out of my pocket, I tugged on the second drawer.
At that moment, a harsh *clack* rang out, and the drawer swung wide open.
Inside were An Zhi’s white dance shoes.
Even after nearly 6 months, there wasn’t a speck of dust on them…
‘Is the lock broken?’
Seeing the metal catch of the lock bent inward, my heart jumped into my throat.
‘Did someone… force this open? The shoes have been moved, too…’
I hurriedly used my key to open the third drawer.
As dust billowed up, the mess of red paper piled inside made me lose my focus for a moment.
These were… all hundred-yuan bills.
It was an amount I had never seen before…
The so-called valuable gift brought by “Longing” was right here.
In the place with the deepest connection to An Zhi…
I turned on a flashlight to inspect the interior and found torn yellow wrapping paper scattered around the bills, along with a bow made of red ribbon.
‘What happened? Was this opened by someone?’
Su Xixia’s face immediately surfaced in my mind.
I remembered what she had said before about using the money her family gave her to buy groceries…
‘Could these bills be the real source of her money?’
My state of daze shifted into rage.
I flipped through the bills and finally found a single hair tucked between the layers.
Its length matched Su Xixia’s shoulder-length hair exactly.
It really was her… Just how much had she taken?
She had intentionally kept me in the dark for so long, silently taking the money An Zhi had left for me.
She knew about the past relationship between An Zhi and me—she knew!
Saying she couldn’t remember the circled words was likely a lie, too!
Her mouth was full of lies.
From the moment she arrived until now, just how many lies had she told?
How many more had I not seen through!?
And I had been immersed in her lies, becoming closer and closer to her.
I thought that after I accepted her, she had confessed all her lies, but I never expected her to hide the most critical part.
And she still said she liked me?
That love was fake too, and everything she did for me was just to cover up her lies!
‘She just wanted to find someone to support her after escaping her hometown!’
‘No, maybe even the things about her hometown were fake. That Family Heirloom too… Was that Family Heirloom even real?’
‘Damn it, which parts are even true? What is she…’
I collapsed onto the floor, my mind filled with everything that had happened between us during this time.
‘That’s right, she and I formed a twisted relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. I enjoyed her care and left marks on her body countless times.’
‘I… while being betrayed by her, I also betrayed An Zhi.’
The deeper she hurt me, the more distorted the image of An Zhi became in my mind.
An Zhi…
She always had me in her heart.
She was always looking out for me and never gave up on me because of company regulations.
The bills in this drawer were undoubtedly enough to pay all the rent she had missed, with plenty left over.
Even excluding the portion Su Xixia had taken, this money was enough for me to live on for a very long time…
Naturally, it was also enough to pay back the Family Heirloom Su Xixia had pawned for me.
‘It’s so cold…’
Slumped in the apartment hallway, my hands and feet grew so cold that I began to lose sensation.
I would rather freeze to death right here.
I had fallen into despair, been seduced by Su Xixia, misunderstood An Zhi on my own, and betrayed her.
I carried a heavy burden of sin.
The sense of guilt intensified through the cold wind, like sharp blades leaving deep scars all over my body and soul.
‘So cold…’
Even as my tears poured out like a broken dam and my trembling lips called out something unintelligible, it couldn’t ease this agony.
My soul was being scourged.
I didn’t know how much time had passed.
The patch of sunlight spilling into the hallway gradually grew and then began to disappear.
The air grew even colder.
My tears had run dry, and my throat could no longer make a sound.
Even my body had lost sensation and could no longer move.