Chapter 39: Han Hanhan’s “Well-Worn Undergarment”?!

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At dinner time, Xiao’s mother had prepared a table full of dishes.

Tomato scrambled eggs, sweet and sour ribs, stir-fried seasonal vegetables—all home-style flavors.

The tomato scrambled eggs were placed closest to me, a steamy heap of red and yellow.

I sat next to Xiao Yan, with my bowl and chopsticks set out and my glass filled to the brim with sour plum drink.

I stood up on my own to help bring the dishes out.

Xiao’s mother came out of the kitchen carrying a soup pot, and I followed behind her, holding a plate of stir-fried greens.

The plate was a bit hot, so I shifted my grip, pinching the rim with my fingertips.

“The food you made is really delicious, Auntie.”

I set the dish on the table and said quietly.

Xiao’s mother smiled even brighter, her eyes curving into crescents.

“Then come over more often if you like it.”

During the meal, Xiao’s mother kept piling food into my bowl.

Sweet and sour ribs, tomato scrambled eggs, greens—my bowl was piled up like a small mountain.

She’d picked out the best pieces of ribs for me, and all the big chunks of egg from the tomato scramble ended up in my bowl.

“That’s enough, Auntie, I can’t eat that much.”

“Eat more, look how thin you are.”

Xiao’s mother said, placing another rib on the edge of my bowl.

Xiao’s father, meanwhile, was telling stories about Xiao Yan as a child.

He picked up a rib, took a bite, and chewed slowly, as if reminiscing.

“She once secretly ate spicy strips, and the heat made her cry so much she chugged a whole bottle of cola, then kept hiccuping nonstop.”

He put down the bone and wiped his hands.

“We asked her if it was spicy, and she kept crying while saying it wasn’t.”

I burst out laughing, almost spraying my rice everywhere.

I quickly covered my mouth, my shoulders shaking a couple of times.

Xiao Yan shot her dad a glare, her ears turning red.

Without a word, she sneakily added a piece of scrambled egg to my bowl.

The tip of her chopsticks tapped the edge of my bowl with a soft clink.

“Eat more, so you can grow big and strong.”

She muttered quietly, her gaze flickering to my chest.

I looked at the egg in my bowl, feeling a warmth in my heart.

Lowering my head, I took a big mouthful of rice.

After the meal, Xiao’s mother pulled me over to the sofa to sit with her.

She asked me all sorts of questions:

What colors I liked, what season I liked best, what I liked to do on weekends.

I answered them one by one, my voice slow, no longer trembling like it had been when I first walked in.

I told her I liked blue, I liked autumn, and I liked to hole up at home watching anime on weekends.

Xiao’s mother nodded with a smile, saying that Yan Yan also liked blue, and that all her clothes were blue when she was little.

But being stared at by an elder for a long time still made me a bit uncomfortable.

My fingers started picking at the sofa cover again.

As I fiddled, a thread got caught under my nail again.

The sofa cover was dark gray, the fabric a little rough.

I’d secretly worked a small patch of fuzz loose.

Xiao Yan stood up from beside me and brushed off her pants.

“Mom, I’m going to take Xiao Han to my room to show her my collection. You two watch TV for now.”

“Go on, then.”

Xiao’s mother waved her hand, giving me a smile with a knowing glint in her eyes.

Xiao Yan took my hand and led me toward the bedroom.

Her palm was warm, her grip firm.

I followed her, my steps a little hurried, almost stepping on the back of her slippers.

Once the door was closed, I let out a long sigh and flopped down onto the carpet.

The carpet was a light gray, fluffy, brushing against my calves.

I buried my face in my knees, my voice muffled.

“I almost couldn’t hold it together. Your mom is way too warm.”

Xiao Yan crouched in front of me and reached out to ruffle my hair.

Her fingers brushed through my strands, tickling.

She didn’t say anything, just kept rubbing, from the top of my head down to the ends, and then back up again.

“She likes you.”

After a long pause, she said, the corners of her mouth turning up.

“Really? But I’m still nervous.”

She let out a small laugh, then fell silent.

She stood up and walked over to the bedside table.

It was the smallest drawer in her room, the very bottom one, which I’d never seen her open before.

She hesitated for a moment, then crouched down and pulled it open slowly.

The drawer’s rollers made a soft sound, as if it wasn’t used very often.

From inside, she pulled out a neatly folded white sports vest.

The fabric wasn’t the bright white of new clothes; it was a soft, off-white, the color of something aged by time.

The collar was loose, and there was a little pilling at the edges, a few tiny balls of fuzz clinging to the surface.

The moment I saw it, my face flushed bright red.

It started at the tips of my ears and spread all the way to my cheekbones, down my neck, and to my collarbone.

That was—

It was the one I’d worn on the very first day I transformed into a girl!

That morning, I’d woken up to find I had turned into a girl.

In the mirror, I had long hair flowing over my shoulders, soft features, and I was wearing oversized pajamas.

I frantically rummaged through the closet, but the underwear was too small, and I didn’t have a bra.

I was dripping with sweat from the panic.

In the end, I found this sports vest at the very bottom of the drawer.

It was white, with a slightly loose collar.

I wore it the whole day, from morning until night.

Later, in the club room, when Xiao Yan helped me change into the sailor uniform, I’d taken this one off and carelessly tossed it over the back of a chair.

I forgot to take it with me.

I never even thought about where it might have gone.

I never expected she had picked it up, washed it, folded it, and kept it hidden all this time.

“W-why did you still keep this?!”

I reached out to snatch it back, my voice going squeaky.

My hand shot out halfway before retreating, not knowing where to put itself.

She held it higher, out of my reach.

Xiao Yan held the vest in her hands, looking down at it.

Her fingers slowly rubbed against the fabric, from the collar to the hem, then back up again.

Very gently, very slowly, as if she were touching something very precious.

Her thumb kept stroking the elastic band at the collar, which had already become a bit warped from washing.

“This was the first piece of clothing you wore as a girl. It has your scent.”

Her voice was very soft, very careful, as if afraid of disturbing something.

Her eyes were so tender—not her usual mischievous, teasing kind of tenderness, but something I couldn’t quite name.

“Before, I was always scared.”

Her voice dropped, so low I had to strain my ears to hear.

“Scared that one day you’d just disappear. Scared that you’d turn back into a boy, and then… then I’d never see the cute you again.”

My throat tightened instantly.

“You know,”

She looked up at me, her eyes shining, bright as if they held water.

“In those first few days after you transformed, I couldn’t sleep at all at night. I’d toss and turn in bed, and all I could think about was you. I loved it so much, but I was so terrified!”

She pressed the vest to her chest and hugged it.

She held it tightly, her fingers clenching the fabric until her knuckles turned white.

“When I missed you, I would hold it in my arms. I’d press it to my face and take a deep breath.”

Her voice trembled a little.

“It was like you were right there with me.”

My eyes suddenly grew hot.

My nose tingled, and my throat felt blocked, unable to speak.

“The smell’s long gone…”

I mumbled softly, my voice thick and nasal.

“Yeah, it’s gone.”

She smiled, her eyes crinkling, the corners a little wet but not spilling over.

“But that’s okay.”

She placed the vest on her lap and smoothed out the wrinkles with her palm, one by one.

She aligned the edges, straightened the collar, and flattened the hem.

Her movements were slow and meticulous, as if she were putting away a precious collectible.

Then she opened the drawer and put the vest back inside.

As she closed the drawer, she paused, her palm pressing flat on its surface, her head bowed, lost in thought.

After a moment, she stood up and turned around.

She yanked me up from the carpet, a little too hard.

I stumbled a step before she pulled me toward the bed.

She sat me down on the bed, then sat down herself, the mattress dipping under the weight.

“It’s not that important anymore.”

Her voice was laced with laughter, her eyes bright as she leaned in close, her nose almost touching mine.

“Because the real thing is right here!”

The moment she said that, she pounced.

She straddled me on the bed, her hands braced on either side of me, her wrists sinking into the covers.

The mattress bounced, and the pillow tilted to one side.

Her hair cascaded down, hanging by my face, the ends brushing my cheeks and making them itch.

She buried her face in the crook of my neck, her nose pressing against my collarbone as she nuzzled.

“That tickles!”

I shrank my neck, hunching my shoulders.

“Don’t care.”

Her voice was muffled against my neck, carrying a smile and a slight nasal quality.

She kept nuzzling, like a clingy big dog.

Her hair tickled me unbearably.

I tried to laugh and squirm away, but she wrapped her arm around the side of my head, not letting me escape.

Her hand slid from my shoulder to my waist, giving it a light squeeze.

“Stop it~”

I gasped.

“Not stopping.”

But then she suddenly went still.

I immediately looked at her.

She was lying on top of me, her hands propped on either side of my head, looking down at me.

Her hair fell, brushing my cheeks. A single strand landed on my lips.

I blew it away gently, and it floated up before falling back.

Her eyes were bright, my face reflected in her pupils.

Red-faced, messy-haired, with a tiny sheen of grease from the tomato scrambled eggs still at the corner of my mouth.

Her breath fell on my lips, warm and rhythmic, coming in rapid bursts.

My heart was pounding faster and faster.

Thump-thump-thump-thump, like it was about to leap out of my chest.

I could feel her heartbeat speeding up too, through two layers of clothing, pressed against my chest, beating in the same rhythm as mine.

I thought she was going to do something.

I thought she was going to lean down and kiss me.

I closed my eyes, my lips slightly parted, ready.

Her lips were so close to mine, close enough that I could touch them if I just lifted my head a little.

But she didn’t.

She just stayed still.

Then, a single warm tear fell onto my cheek.

Another one.

It trailed down my cheekbone, reaching the corner of my mouth. Salty.

I was stunned.

Xiao Yan was crying?

She never cried.

That night at the homestay, she had held me, her eyes red and the tip of her nose flushed, but she hadn’t shed a tear.

In the changing room, she had teased me, grinning mischievously, not a single tear in sight.

At the observatory, when she thought I was going to take on an adventure alone, her voice had changed from panic, but still, she hadn’t cried like this.

But now, she was crying.

Lying on top of me, her tears fell one after another, landing on my face, my neck, my collarbone.

Her shoulders were trembling slightly, her teeth biting her lip to keep quiet.

But she couldn’t stop the tears.

My eyes grew hot too.

I reached up and gently wiped away her tears.

My thumb brushed across her cheekbone.

It was wet and cool.

Her skin was burning hot, but her tears were cold.

“Don’t cry.”

My voice was a little hoarse, like it had been scuffed by sandpaper.

She didn’t say anything.

The tears kept falling, one after another, landing on the corner of my mouth, on my chin, in the hollow of my neck.

I wiped them again.

This time, my fingers lingered on her face.

I didn’t pull away.

My palm rested against her cheek.

Her face wasn’t big, and my hand nearly covered half of it.

“I won’t turn back into a boy anymore.”

My voice was soft and steady, each word spoken clearly, like I was reciting a very important vow.

“I’ll always be by your side.”

Her lashes trembled, tears clinging to the tips, sparkling.

They quivered for a moment, then fell.

I opened my arms and pulled her into a hug.

She was quite a bit bigger than me.

Her frame was wider, her shoulders broader, she was a whole size larger than me.

Holding her was like holding a large dog.

My arms wrapped around her back, my palms resting on her shoulder blades.

Her hands were braced on either side of me, supporting her weight so she wasn’t completely pressing down on me, afraid of crushing me.

My hand patted her back, slow and gentle, moving from her shoulder blades down to her waist, and then back up.

“Really?”

Her voice was muffled in the hollow of my neck, thick with tears, soft, nothing like her usual self.

Her usual voice was always laced with laughter, with mischief, with an effortless composure.

Now, it was soft as cotton candy, ready to crumble at a touch.

“Really,” I said.

She lay on my shoulder, her shoulders shaking slightly.

I held her tighter, my fingers clenching, gathering the fabric of her clothes into wrinkles.

After a long while, she lifted her head.

Her eyes were red, the tip of her nose was red too, tears still clinging to her lashes.

There were two faint tear tracks on her cheeks, glistening in the light.

She looked at me and suddenly smiled.

It wasn’t that mischievous grin, not that teasing smile.

It was a very, very light one, her eyes curving, like the first ray of sunlight peeking through the clouds after the rain stops.

“Then you have to comfort me from now on.”

She sniffled, her voice still thick with tears, muffled, like she was acting coy.

She pinched my cheek, not hard, like she was kneading dough.

Her thumb rubbed against my cheek, wiping away the tear tracks.

“Okay,” I said.

“Every single time.”

“Okay~”

“Don’t get annoyed.”

“Okaaay~”

She stared at me for two seconds, pressed her lips together, and then buried her head in the hollow of my neck.

“It’s so good to have you.”

Her voice was muffled.