Today’s weather was a bit gloomy, so it felt a bit cold.
I only wore one jacket; underneath I still had a T-shirt and shorts.
The cold wind made me shiver involuntarily.
Walking to the parcel locker at the neighborhood gate, I took out my phone.
“Speaking of which, Lingyin.
“I recently used the money I earned to get a new computer, and then I want to save up a few more commissions to buy a pen display. That way I can draw directly on the screen just like I used to draw on paper. Isn’t that amazing?”
Amid the click, I took from the locker a parcel wrapped in a dark green woven sack.
I stroked this heavy package and could not help murmuring to myself.
“The newly bought books have arrived too. I’ll take them to the library right now and leave them for you.
“There’s a big bookshelf at my house. Lately I packed up all my dad’s books and put them in my parents’ room, so I can put some books you want to read on the shelf.”
“Lingyin.
“I have a place that belongs to me now, but you’ve never come even once.
“Although sometimes when I’m lonely I recall the time I lived at my uncle’s, although Uncle and them occasionally come to my house when they have free time, bringing me chicken soup, braised pork, crayfish…
“It would be nice if you could taste it sometime too. Auntie’s cooking is getting better and better.
“Oh right, soon my cousin will take the college entrance exam and go to university too. They’ll definitely get better and better, smoother and smoother from now on.”
Some ordinary household talk.
Lingyin and I would chat about these things from time to time.
But just like now, a lot of the time it was only me talking about these things.
As for Lingyin’s family, I had actually never heard her mention them.
But she always listened very carefully.
I was actually quite happy.
Even without Mom and Dad, without Sister, I still had Uncle, Auntie, and my cousin.
More importantly, I still had you.
Every day spent with you gradually healed the pain in my heart.
I gradually stopped being so afraid—of these days of walking alone.
What about you?
Are you happy?
Are you glad?
Do you feel lonely?
The bus hummed as it drove along the slightly damp road.
I did not know whether it was because it had rained, or because the morning sprinkler truck had passed.
Pedestrians on the street were always in a hurry, weaving beneath the trees along the sidewalk.
Flashing traffic lights made the bus give that feeling of pushing against my back.
I turned to look out the window.
Cool wind through the gap in the window struck my face; it was a little dry.
It was just a route I had traveled I did not know how many times.
Turned a corner, then passed through an intersection.
When the trees on both sides of the road gradually grew denser, the white roofs carried a few shades of gray under the gloomy sky.
I watched from afar the approaching blue rain shelter.
Today, once again, I was the only one who got off the bus here.
Walked up the slope, through the lobby, stepped onto the stairs, arrived in front of the reading hall.
I set the parcel in my hands on the counter.
Looking up at me was an administrator with neat long black hair.
“Donating new books again?” The girl’s voice was very clear, also carrying a somewhat delicate feeling.
She looked down at the dark green parcel on the counter, then took a pair of scissors from the drawer under the counter and, looking very practiced, opened the package.
“Mm.” Actually I did not talk with her all that many times.
But she seemed to be the administrator I had seen the most times.
Although it was not necessarily her on duty every day, still… it seemed she had been here since a long time ago.
Since when…
Since I stopped seeing that auntie with the permed curls, I supposed.
There were more young people in the library now; the older generation was gradually seen less.
The one who took books from my hands the most times was actually this girl.
Every time she carefully checked these books one by one in front of me.
With those slender fingers she stroked the special writing on these special books.
No extra words; she only said each time, “Thank you so much.”
Red labels were carefully stuck onto those books.
Opening the title page, stamping the library seal on it, hiding an unremarkable metal strip in some corner of the cover—the intake work was finished like that.
Perhaps in her eyes I was also a very strange person.
Besides often coming to donate some braille books, many times I came here not to read, but walked straight to that table in the corner and sat down, then opened the shoulder bag I carried and started writing and drawing.
Lingyin.
When I sat down here, it was as if I could still smell the faint floral scent on you.
Lowering my head, picking up the pen in my hand, it was as if I could still see you.
Quiet was the unchanging atmosphere here.
Only this time when I sat down here, I faintly heard the sha-sha ticking of a quartz clock.
Following the sound I could not help looking up at the wall beside me.
At some unknown point a quartz clock had been hung above the window.
A quartz clock with a reddish-brown frame, simple black hands, simple numbers, a white face.
No extra decoration, no extra functions; it was just a quartz clock hanging there.
[9:50]
Nine fifty, huh.
Somehow, watching that second hand ticking quietly, I actually froze there in a daze.
Until from one side came the sound of someone’s footsteps and the friction of a cart’s wheels on the floor.
I looked back.
It was that young librarian.
Our gazes met for that little while.
Then she smiled faintly at me.
After that, as if noticing my confusion, she turned her gaze toward the quartz clock above my head and said, “Ah, this was brought a few days ago by a lady who asked for it to be hung here. She said the library didn’t even have a single clock, and sometimes it made her forget the time.”
“I-is that so…” Someone who could stay in the library until they forgot the time must be someone who really loved reading, right?
But why hang it here?
Before I could speak, Miss Administrator continued, “She also liked sitting here a lot, so I thought, since it has to be hung, I might as well hang the clock here.
“Anyway, not many people come usually.”
***
So that’s how it was.
Besides me, was there someone else who sat here?
It made me rather curious, so I called out to Miss Administrator who was about to go put the books I had just donated in the braille section: “Speaking of which, can you tell me what kind of person she is? You’ve made me a bit curious.”
She thought for a moment, then said, “Mm…
“Someone… not easy to describe.”
“Not easy to describe?”
“Yeah.” When she said this, Miss Administrator showed a bit of difficulty.
But quickly, as if she remembered something, she stretched out a hand and gestured at her chin. “About this tall, I guess.
“She always wears a white hat every time, so you can’t see her face clearly at all, but looking at her build, she should be a girl.”
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