The bitter truth was undeniable.
Throughout the filming of episode 4, I was being carried by Tae Jin-hwa sunbae-nim’s acting.
“Bada, you’re the problem?”
“After episode 4, I realized I was being swept up by sunbae-nim’s acting.”
I didn’t want to be carried…
Tae Jin-hwa sunbae-nim’s acting prowess was beyond what I could handle.
“Bada-ya.”
Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I looked up.
“You’re not being swept up. But if you can’t bring out your own acting while I’m performing, that could become a bad habit.”
“…A bad habit?”
Tae Jin-hwa sunbae-nim looked at me with a steady gaze.
“Yes. Acting shines brighter when your partner supports you.”
She gently held my wrist.
“You’re still inexperienced. Our Bada has probably only acted alone.”
‘Lack of experience…’
She was right. In my previous life, I rarely had the chance to exchange acting with others. And acting that shakes me up like Tae Jin-hwa sunbae-nim’s was a first.
“Bada, you can do it.”
“…Sunbae-nim.”
Then I have no choice but to act without being swept away. With sunbae-nim cheering me on, there’s no reason I can’t.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Good. Today’s scene will be tough, so don’t overthink. You’ll lose your pace.”
“Yes, sunbae-nim!”
To focus, I lightly slapped my cheeks. My eyes snapped open, and my mind cleared.
‘Let’s do this.’
I can’t lose my acting pace.
“Testing the rain!”
At those words, I stepped aside to check the rain’s intensity. It’s heavy?
“Make it heavier.”
Heavier than this? I glanced at the monitor, and the thicker rain definitely looked better. More visible, too.
‘…Can my body handle it?’
The lines aren’t short, either. Im Hoon has three lines, and I have four.
“…How much does the rain hurt?”
I asked a staff member how painful the rain would be.
“It’ll sting a lot.”
Sting? How much? Yeom Haejin, overhearing, approached with concern.
“You okay?”
“Huh?”
“Your eyes…”
What about my eyes?
“They look like they’re in pain.”
“Really in pain?”
“Yeah. A ton.”
I forced the corners of my mouth up and shook my head.
“It hurts a bit, but I can handle it.”
“Can you really handle it?”
“Yeah, I can do it.”
With so much fatigue built up, it was an environment ripe for collapse.
“If it gets tough, say so. We’ll stop filming immediately.”
“Okay… Don’t worry.”
“Let’s start with rehearsal.”
Since the rain stings, Yeom Haejin suggested syncing up first. I climbed onto the mat and knelt. For upper-body shots, we’d use the mat, but for full-body shots, it’d be gone.
‘Should’ve listened to Seo-eun unnie.’
Manager Min Seo-eun told me to wear knee pads, but I refused, thinking it wouldn’t look real.
After the rain test, Yeom Haejin looked at me.
“Ready?”
“Yup!”
Let’s rehearse and see.
Rehearsal ended.
“This okay? The rain stings.”
***
Watching the rehearsal, Ryubyul seemed worried about the heavy rain.
“I’m worried about that too.”
“…At this rate, you might end up in the ER…”
Could my body hold up? Considering the rehearsal’s pace, filming would take 15 minutes.
But this was the most crucial scene for Yeonwoo’s emotional shift. Yeom Haejin said I could stop if it got tough, but I wouldn’t allow that.
“Hey, Im-sensei, hang in there.”
Out of nowhere, Im Hoon handed me a box of heat packs. A whole box?
“I heard from the staff that if you secure heat packs inside your hanbok so they don’t get wet, it’s fine.”
That’s why he gave them? What’s gotten into him?
“What’s with that look?”
“Just… thanks.”
“Of course. If you mess up, Im-sensei, I’ll have to reshoot too.”
So that’s why he’s being nice. Ryubyul shot him a cold glare.
“Wow, trash.”
“Hey! Ryubyul! If I’m trash, you’re recyclable trash?”
…Isn’t recyclable better? His brain doesn’t seem to get that far.
“Just go.”
“Yeah, Im-sensei, fighting!”
I sighed deeply, watching his goofy retreat.
“I’m going too.”
With Ryubyul’s final cheer, I smiled. With the costume team’s help, I tucked heat packs in various places and steadied my breathing.
“Bada-ssi.”
“Yes, Director.”
On set, I always called Yeom Haejin “Director.” Work and personal life stay separate.
“Let’s do it in one take.”
“If it doesn’t work, we can do multiple takes…”
“Don’t say that.”
As if it was nonsense, Yeom Haejin pinched my cheek. Hard this time.
“No, we’re doing it in one take. I can’t do this twice.”
“This, Director?”
“You can’t handle two takes either.”
True. Acting, delivering lines, and managing emotions while getting drenched?
If the lines were shorter, multiple takes might’ve been doable… But this scene is centered on me. I can’t think selfishly about a drama shoot.
‘It’s not my drama.’
“Still, Haejin-a.”
She flinched when I suddenly used her name.
“Huh? What?”
“If you’re not satisfied, we can reshoot. I don’t want to make the director feel guilty.”
“Wow, that’s touching.”
The director needs an objective perspective. At my smile, Yeom Haejin sighed deeply, as if resigned.
“You’re making my heart ache.”
“Deal with it. You picked this actor.”
“…Blame my past self. Who else can I blame?”
She earnestly instructed me.
“If it’s tough, say so. This scene won’t take much screen time anyway.”
“How many minutes?”
“I’m thinking… three minutes.”
Fifteen minutes of shooting for three minutes. Well, three-minute kare is delicious, so I’ll serve that flavor to the audience.
“I’ll cook a tasty three minutes.”
“What? This kid…”
Yeom Haejin chuckled, then grabbed my shoulder with a worried look.
“Got it. If you say so. But don’t push too hard.”
Watching her walk away, I steeled myself.
‘Like submission.’
Just kneeling in the rain won’t leave a strong impression. But with effort, it could be a memorable scene.
“Ready!”
Im Hoon walked off, holding an umbrella. Clenching my fist to hide my trembling, I watched his back.
“Action!”
Whoosh.
The rain poured down, chilling me before I could feel refreshed. Thanks to well-sealed heat packs, it was bearable.
‘Let’s do this.’
I clenched my fist, steeling myself. No mistakes. I had to run, gazing at the prince pitifully.
“Uh…”
Running without looking ahead, I tripped in a small puddle. Luckily, I stretched out my hands to protect my face, but my knees and hands scraped.
‘I was too nervous.’
Me, messing up? This can’t happen. The staff rushed toward me, alarmed. But I didn’t want to stop here.
I stood up. Let’s show them.
Yeom Haejin, knowing I wouldn’t stop, didn’t call cut.
“Your Highness…!”
***
She killed Sohyun for me. Prince Lee young knows this brutal truth.
I must stop it from spreading. No, I must save my mother from death.
She’s all I have left.
“Your Highness!”
I called out to Lee young, walking away. In the past and now, he always turns his back on me. Despite shouting loudly, the rain drowned it out.
“Your Highness!”
He stopped, as if he heard. Please, please. My desperate cry reached him, and he turned around.
“…Yeonwoo-ya.”
“Your Highness.”
“…You don’t look well. Get up.”
“No.”
My name, flowing from his lips after so long. I should resent him, but I don’t.
“I’m sorry for approaching you so rudely. But I have an urgent request…”
“What request?”
Closing my eyes tightly, I poured out my words without hesitation.
“Can’t you save my mother?”
“…Yeonwoo-ya.”
I know why he said my name first. If it’s not possible, it’s not. If it is, it is. That’s what he’d say.
Before he could refuse, I pleaded, my palms burning. His face crumpled in discomfort.
“…If you do this.”
“I know. I know I’ll die.”
I cried. Tears mingled with rain, streaming down my cheeks.
“No. I can’t lose you too.”
Me? My body went limp, as if shocked. The stinging rain made it impossible to open my eyes. I lifted my head slightly to see his face, but couldn’t.
“Ha…”
Is this the distance between us? Steadying myself, I slowly spoke.
“Not because I love you or like you. In this impossible position, I loved Your Highness. When you were to marry Sohyun, I broke for the first time.”
“…Don’t do this.”
“I never wanted anything. I thought it was enough to be by your side. So I’ll give it up.”
I hate love now. I bowed, pressing my forehead to the ground.
“I don’t want to lose my mother because of me. Please save her.”
‘…Yeonwoo-ya.’
“I’ll tell you the truth you want to know. Everything I know.”
“Yeonwoo-ya…”
“Why Sohyun had to die, who’s behind it.”
My cries didn’t stop.
“So please, save my mother. She’s my last person.”
Watching the mud wash away, I gathered my resolve.
“Yeonwoo-ya, stop this. For the bond we had, I promise it won’t end in death.”
“…..”
“But know this: I’m not promising this because of your subservient, groveling act.”
Subservient, groveling. His words stabbed my heart like daggers. Those watching my tears soak into the muddy ground would realize.
This is the end. The last moment. He’s being considerate. Like dew on petals, not muddy water.
I’ll show him my final act.
“Thank you for your consideration, Your Highness.”
I won’t forget today.
“I was happy while cherishing you.”
I didn’t lift my head, even as Lee young’s footsteps faded.
“…Yeonwoo, Yeonwoo. My daughter! My daughter!”
My mother’s faint voice called. Strange. My body felt heavy, warm. I was shivering from the cold, wasn’t I?
“Yeonwoo-ya!”
A warm embrace wrapped around me, and I smiled instinctively.
“Yeonwoo-ya, my daughter. What’s happened to you?”
“…Mother.”
Clutching her sash, I forced myself to say I was okay.
“…Even if I’m like this, my fate won’t change.”
“You’re my only mother.”
I barely lifted my eyelids to meet her gaze. Her eyes, always heavy and scary, no longer frightened me.
“Love can be rejected, but not you, Mother.”
My vision blurred like fog. I heard the slate clap.
“Bada-ya?”
…My fatigued body, soaked in rain…
“…I feel like I’m dying.”
“What?”
“I’m dying…”
I’m dying!