After the misunderstanding was cleared up, I still didn’t get to chat with Gu Fan as much as I had hoped. After just a minute or two, he found an excuse to hang up.
Before ending the call, though, he repeatedly reminded me to keep warm, drink some hot ginger water, and take care of myself.
Mmm… If he really cares about me that much, wouldn’t it be even better if he came over to my place to look after me?
I really wanted to say that, but the call ended too quickly—almost as if I were some kind of ferocious beast. I didn’t even get the chance to open my mouth.
Clicking my tongue in disappointment, I reluctantly put down my phone and returned to the bathroom.
Without hesitation, I changed out of my bathrobe and slipped into a thick sweater and cotton pants. My body finally started to feel warm again.
With the blow dryer on low heat, I lazily dried my hair, my eyelids drooping as I stared at my expressionless reflection in the mirror—only to suddenly laugh without reason.
It really feels like… I’m becoming more and more like a wicked woman. Unmotivated, always trying to drag the upright, top-performing Gu Fan down with me—even thinking up shady tricks like asking him to skip class together.
Maybe in the eyes of society, what I’m doing has already crossed a lot of people’s bottom line. But… I don’t think Gu Fan is as shallow as those people… right?
My hand holding the blow dryer froze. The hot air tousled my hair, brushing against my soft cat ears.
I lowered my gaze, looking at the perfect curves outlined by the sweater tightly wrapped around my body. A heavy stone seemed to fall in my chest, and I felt strangely reassured.
Somehow, lately I’ve felt much more satisfied with my figure. Unlike before, I no longer treat it as if it were an enemy.
My waist, my chest—little by little, as I’ve learned more and more common sense, I’ve come to realize just how important they are for winning Gu Fan’s affection.
Thinking back to Gu Fan’s warm and calm voice on the phone, and then imagining the unconscious swallowing motion he makes when being teased by me, my whole body suddenly went soft and numb.
Am I… actually expecting something to happen?
I really wanted to throw myself onto the bed, turn into a wriggling worm rolling back and forth, and by the way, clamp the quilt between my legs to rub a few times.
Whenever I feel empty inside, I usually do this—it provides a barely passable sense of comfort.
Mmm… better not go crazy again. Just obediently dry my hair.
Pointing the nozzle of the hair dryer toward my face, the hot wind blew against me, forcing a large amount of air in such a short time that I felt a little suffocated. I held my breath, my eyes narrowing slightly.
After blowing on myself like that for a while, I felt much more refreshed, and all the distracting thoughts in my head were blown away too.
Once I had tidied myself up, I left my room intending to get a glass of water in the living room—but unexpectedly, I saw someone I hadn’t seen for a long time.
A tall catgirl with light makeup was sitting on the sofa in a uniform. Her beige trench coat was casually placed to the side. At this moment, she was calmly flipping through a stack of documents on her lap.
Perhaps she heard the sound of my footsteps. My mother shifted her gaze toward me, and we looked at each other for a moment.
In the end, it was still my mother who calmly turned her eyes back to the papers.
Come to think of it, I still don’t know what kind of job my mother does. After the divorce, when she took me away, she seemed to have changed jobs many times.
In the past, I could occasionally hear her talking about her own matters, but nowadays, we barely communicate at all.
I twisted my ankle slightly, let out a subtle sigh, and pretended that I was the only one at home. Naturally, I walked to the coffee table and poured myself a cup of warm water.
It doesn’t matter anymore. I can already earn money and support myself. After all these years of stalemate, it’s not something I can fix just by wanting to repair the relationship.
Besides, for me now, as long as I have Gu Fan, that’s enough. My mother is only more important to me compared to others, nothing more.
When I returned to my room with the water cup, there was a faint sense of loneliness, but it only made me more determined to lock Gu Fan firmly by my side.
Noise—chaotic and jumbled—rolled in from all directions like rippling layers, pressing down on my ears. The cat ears on top of my head trembled helplessly under the torment.
Right now, I only hated that I couldn’t fully master control over my body—if only I could make my cat ears curl up on their own without the help of my hands, they could at least block out some of the outside sounds.
Although I can do “airplane ears,” that requires strong emotional fluctuations to trigger. If I try to force it normally, it just feels strangely awkward.
“Hmph… I really want to take leave and go home to sleep. Home is the quietest place. Mother should’ve already gone back to work at the company, right? Did she only come home yesterday because the New Year is coming? Kind of curious.”
I shifted my hips. Lying on the classroom desk and chair, I had to constantly adjust my posture to ease the stiffness in my body.
Once next week’s exams are over, this semester will finally be finished. Plus, with the big matter of class reassignment coming up, my classmates were all taking the opportunity to chatter away excitedly.
The teacher tried to keep order but found the students’ enthusiasm hard to suppress, and eventually couldn’t be bothered to lecture too much. The downside, though, was that I couldn’t get any sleep at all.
My hearing is just too sensitive… Sure, it’s convenient when I secretly listen for information about Gu Fan, but in such a noisy environment, it’s impossible not to feel overwhelmed from receiving too much useless information.
My head started to hurt.
Forget it, since I can’t sleep, I might as well study—just take it as adding some leverage for acing the exams.
I pulled out a workbook and quietly started doing exercises, but my mind still drifted off on its own.
School will end soon… According to what we said yesterday, after the midday dismissal I’ll go directly to the parking lot to wait for Gu Fan, and then he’ll take me to find a restaurant to eat.
Once we’ve solved the hunger problem, we’ll start preparing to buy New Year’s goods.
As for New Year’s goods, I really don’t have much of an impression… I don’t even know what’s better to buy. Do clothes count as New Year’s goods? Or is it only food that counts?
I let my thoughts wander for a while, but my hands didn’t really stop moving.
The cost of splitting my focus was that I made a lot of small mistakes on the questions I wrote. Although there weren’t any big problems, that still wasn’t a good excuse for being distracted.
… From now on, when I’m doing exercises, I should take it a bit more seriously. The foundation I’ve built up from before isn’t a reason to slack off. Even arrogance needs capital.
In the end, I only really worked hard during my third year of high school, and if I mess up this exam… then I’ll have to wait until subject-streaming before I can be in the same class as Gu Fan.
When I imagined those possibilities, I shivered in fear, quickly shaking my head to throw out those distracting thoughts.
Then I tightened my grip on the ballpoint pen in my hand, repeatedly bouncing between absentminded daydreaming and brief bursts of hot-blooded determination.
For Gu Fan’s sake, even if I’m not the type cut out for studying, I’ll grit my teeth and endure for a while—at least this time, I have to end up in the same class with him.