Mom completely ignored my resistance.
Her hand rested on her leg, clad in a tight denim skirt, her cold gaze fixed on me, the curve of her lips unchanging.
“You’re so young. You probably don’t realize that feelings at your age rarely last.”
“You’re you, and I’m me. So what if it’s hard to hold onto? Even if our time together is short, I’m willing to accept it. I’m not going to give up just because it might not last.”
Mom’s expression finally shifted. She narrowed her eyes, and her cat ears curled unhappily.
Though she didn’t openly show her emotions, I, being so similar to her, knew she was angry.
Heh… that’s exactly what I wanted. I wanted to make her mad. Why should I be the only one fuming?
I’m not agreeing to the transfer.
Seeing Mom’s furrowed brows and displeased expression, the corners of my lips couldn’t help but curl upward. I felt delighted.
I said those words deliberately to provoke her, subtly mocking the situation between her and Dad.
Maybe it’s a bit cruel, but I don’t care anymore. The moment Mom arranged the transfer without considering my thoughts or opinions, we stopped being bound by a simple mother-daughter relationship.
Besides, what kind of normal mother and daughter barely exchange five sentences a month, only keeping the relationship alive with money?
Mom lowered her gaze, her thick lashes hiding the emotions in her eyes.
“High school romances… they’re nice. But you should know, your father and I… we also met and fell in love in high school. Back then, I was just like you, believing our pure love would last forever, until we grew old or died.”
It was rare to hear Mom’s voice turn so low. She didn’t lift her head, her short, shoulder-length hair falling across her face, a stark contrast to her usual polished appearance.
“That man was truly perfect—not just in looks and charm, but in how he carried himself. If I hadn’t accidentally bumped into him, sprained my ankle, and been carried to the infirmary, I might never have had the chance to get to know him.”
For some reason, Mom started recounting how she and Dad met and fell in love. I could sense a faint trace of joy in her voice, as if she were reliving those moments.
I don’t hate Mom; I’ve just grown numb to her usual coldness. Seeing her show more emotion now, I decided to patiently listen on.
“In high school, I was a very gloomy, withdrawn girl. Hardly anyone wanted to be my friend. I was incredibly anxious, desperate for someone to talk to. I even secretly took money from my mom to buy books on how to dress up, studying them for ages.”
Hearing this, I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I never imagined Mom was like that in high school… it feels like she was even more of a “bad kid” than me.
Hmm… thinking back to middle school when Gu Fan and I were estranged, I realized I’ve never really been interested in connecting with others.
The desire to connect only applies to Gu Fan. With everyone else, I’m indifferent, treating them as dispensable.
Compared to Mom’s anxiety in high school, I’m a bit more at ease. Maybe it’s because I’m so focused on Gu Fan, always thinking about how to grow closer to him and create more happy memories.
Thinking about it, though, I guess I’m pretty anxious too. Sometimes, feelings of inferiority exhaust me mentally and physically.
“Luckily, when I first met your father, I learned how to make myself look prettier, so I wouldn’t be outdone by others.”
Watching Mom murmur almost to herself, I suddenly realized where my obsessive personality came from.
“But… in the end, he still abandoned us. Once men enter society, they change so much. You remember, don’t you? In the two or three years before the divorce, there were already signs.”
As Mom spoke, I gradually recalled childhood memories related to Dad.
“His temper got worse and worse. When he spoke to us, there was always a sharp edge, like he couldn’t stand the sight of us. Sometimes he’d suddenly be nice again, taking us out to have fun. I just thought he was stressed from work.”
At this, Mom let out a cold laugh and fell silent.
Knowing the full story, I mentally finished what she left unsaid.
Dad had been cheating for a long time, secretly seeing a well-connected female colleague from his company. He seemed to have some conscience, torn about whether to tell us the truth.
Later, probably pushed by that woman, he started distancing himself from us, testing the waters to see if Mom would bring up divorce first.
But Mom was too good at enduring. If I hadn’t seen Dad kissing his mistress with my own eyes, she might’ve kept pretending everything was fine.
“So, Zhinian, give up on that boy. I’m a living example. I don’t want you to end up like me.”
Mom finally lifted her head, brushing aside the hair on her cheek. Her ruby-like eyes shimmered with a faint wetness, staring directly at me.
She’s right—I’ve worried about the same thing. What if Gu Fan goes to university, graduates, and starts working? Will he, like Dad, develop a wandering heart?
Even if I temporarily bind him with marriage and a child, making him care for us out of guilt, societal pressures would still weigh on him.
I’d either have to swallow my pride and accept a third party, muddling through life, or, like Mom, reach a breaking point, take the child, and leave the heartbreaking city, letting Gu Fan live with his lover…
That’s why, earlier in my room, I was so anxious I nearly fainted, my tears almost cried dry.
But… I really don’t want to talk about the consequences of failure before even fighting.
It’s not that I’m overly confident or think I can’t lose. I just want to try, to keep pushing forward.
What if Gu Fan is truly as sincere as he seems, treating me as his lifelong love, and even if someone forced a relationship with him, he’d cut it off without hesitation?
“What happened with Dad can’t be changed anymore. I hope you can move on, Mom.”
Taking a deep breath, I slowly straightened my back, looking at her solemnly.
“As for my matters, I won’t let you interfere.”
“…It’s exactly because things can’t be undone once they happen that I want to stop them before they do. Do you understand?”
The trace of emotion on Mom’s face vanished instantly, replaced by the cold mask she usually wore.
An unyielding aura radiated from her, and I quietly restrained my own expression, meeting her with the same resolve.
“I’ll say it again: I am me. I won’t give up out of fear of failure. And I believe Gu Fan isn’t the kind of hypocritical coward Dad was. I’ve known him since we were kids—my understanding of him might be deeper than yours was of Dad.”