“Why are you being so stubborn? Do you really have to suffer a loss before you can understand my good intentions?”
“I don’t need it. You normally don’t even bother with me—so why do you think you can interfere with my life now?”
The atmosphere was tense, needle against needle. I did my best to suppress my voice, making sure not to be too loud.
Even though raising my voice would give me more presence, I personally dislike people who make a fuss, so naturally I restrained myself from doing so.
Mother seemed to think the same way. Her brows were tightly furrowed, her voice colder than usual, yet her expression and tone remained quite controlled.
Heh… interesting. Other people’s arguments are always noisy and explosive, but the two of us—this catgirl mother and daughter—just sat on the sofa, staring coldly at each other.
The words we exchanged sounded as if they had been processed countless times, stripped of any obvious emotional fluctuation.
“I’m not transferring schools. I won’t sign any of the paperwork either. Tomorrow I’ll go talk with the school myself. You just go to work, alright?”
Finishing my barbed words, I closed my eyes for a moment, then tossed the yogurt cup I had been holding into the trash.
There was still some left inside, but I no longer had the mood to drink it.
My hands were sticky with moisture—I couldn’t tell if it was condensation from the frozen yogurt container or sweat from my nervousness.
Staring at my mother’s face, the tenderness I once longed for had long since vanished, leaving only a coldness as unyielding as polar ice.
Maybe a child’s ability to imitate really is strong? I don’t know when it began, but just like my mother, I too started wearing a cold mask when dealing with others.
I’ve run away far too many times. When I was little, all I could do was softly beg my mother to change. But now… I’ve already given up on the idea of changing her.
All I want is to stay with Gu Fan, to live a plain and simple life together until we grow old.
Any obstacle that appears in this process, I’ll fight against it relentlessly. Even though my mother and I share blood, I won’t let myself be bound by those so-called traditional moral values.
I’ve already crossed over to another world once… so now, I just want to follow my true heart, to step toward the dream I long for—even if it costs me my life, it won’t be in vain.
My fingers clutched tightly at the hem of my nightdress. The once-soft, delicate fabric was scrunched into wrinkles under my grip.
“Do you think I’m telling you this today to discuss it with you?”
Mother’s chest rose and fell noticeably. She narrowed her eyes and spoke each word with force.
“…so?”
The cat ears on my head instantly pressed down, nearly flat against my scalp. My body had already sensed the danger in her words.
“Tomorrow, you must go with me to the school. If you don’t, then don’t even think about leaving this house.”
“Heh… you think that will work?”
I had thought she was about to say something shocking or earth-shattering. I didn’t expect her plan to be so crude and laughable instead.
Slowly, I relaxed the furrow in my brows. But because I had been suppressing my surging emotions for so long—without venting them through words or violent gestures—my chest felt heavy, stuffed full of negative feelings, making it hard to breathe.
“You should know you don’t have the right to lock me up at home. You’re just using this as an excuse to try and threaten me, thinking I can’t live independently.”
I paused for a moment, then revealed the confidence I had been holding back.
“But… what you probably don’t know is, I’ve already found a part-time job. The money I earn each week is enough to cover my basic living expenses. So your plan has failed.”
Mother’s face darkened. She didn’t say anything at first—just glared at me viciously. After a long while, she finally spoke.
“I’ll give you a few days to think it over. The final exams are just around the corner anyway. Stay home and study these next few days. After the exams, you can tell me whether you’ve come to your senses.”
With that, Mother stood up and walked straight into her room without looking back. A moment later, I heard the door quietly shut—and then lock.
Sitting on the sofa, the moment I heard that lock click, I unconsciously let out a breath of relief, as if I had just come back to life.
Even though she had backed down for now, the stress of the confrontation had already taken its toll on my body.
My chest felt suffocated… my whole body was so exhausted I was on the verge of collapsing into sleep.
I leaned weakly against the sofa back. It was the middle of winter, yet inside me there was still a piercing chill.
Strangely, though, the chest that held my heart was burning hot.
The clash of heat and cold made my stomach spasm slightly. I pressed my lips together, feeling as if I were floating above storm clouds—with a scorching sun burning right beside me.
After Mother left, the emotions I had been suppressing finally found a chance to burst out.
My head felt like it had been ambushed by an assassin lying in wait for years—suddenly, everything went blank.
I lost control of my body, only realizing afterward that I had stood up, grabbed the cushions and stuffed toys from the sofa, and hurled them with all my strength against the floor and the walls.
Not enough! Still not enough!! The suffocating gloom in my chest showed no sign of fading. I let myself continue venting for a while longer before I finally managed to regain control over my body.
“…So annoying.”
Looking at the mess scattered all over the floor, I sighed and obediently picked everything up one by one.
But this time I didn’t have the mood to arrange them neatly again. After tossing them carelessly onto the long sofa, I went into my own room and locked the door behind me.
I collapsed onto the bed and covered my face, letting out a few muffled “ah ah” sounds.
I hate violence, yet when I’m in a bad mood, I choose such a rough, destructive way to try and calm myself down.
Doesn’t that mean, subconsciously, I believe that smashing and breaking things can actually defeat the suffocating negative emotions?
That kind of mindset… really isn’t a good one.
I couldn’t help feeling like such a hypocrite—always finding excuses to indulge myself, forgiving all the messy things I do.
But when it comes to Gu Fan, I pile on high standards, wanting him to be flawless, to patch up every flaw in my heart… and even to give me more on top of that.
Unconsciously, I bit down on the blanket, my teeth rubbing lightly against it, trying to ease the pressure inside me that still hadn’t been completely released.
At the same time, my hand—moving without my conscious will—began to wander across my body.
“…What am I doing?”
By the time I realized it, my hand had stopped on my chest.
I gave a light squeeze—there was a tingling, numbing sensation. Compared to touching my cat ears and tail, it felt strangely new and different.
Mmm… yeah… why didn’t I ever notice this before?
For some reason, I suddenly laughed. It felt like I had discovered another way to vent my dissatisfaction…
Curling my body up under the blankets, I pressed my legs tightly against the quilt. In the depths of my mind, images of Gu Fan began to surface, replacing the disgusting memories left behind by my argument with Mother.
Haa… what a refreshing feeling, as if I were already in Gu Fan’s arms, quietly receiving his gentle comfort…