“Ughhh…”
Pervert, pervert! I’m such a super lewd pervert!!
In the bathroom, I turned my back to the mirror, my cheeks burning like they were on fire. I quickly pulled up my underwear, then grabbed the laundry basket and tossed the clothes inside into the washing machine.
So embarrassing… Whether anyone saw me or not is one thing, but the real hurdle is getting past my own guilt.
Realizing I’d done something so scandalous and improper, it felt like the sky was about to collapse. I could almost see people pointing at me, their disgust unmasked.
My skin’s thick, but not that thick—I can’t completely ignore what others think. Who wants to be seen as a lustful woman?
This is the last time. I absolutely can’t cross that line again. Just… maybe a little touch now and then.
Making excuses for what I just did on the bed, I let out a long sigh, rinsed my fingers under the faucet, and flopped back onto the bed.
“Phew~” My whole body finally relaxed…
The gloom lingering in my chest finally dissipated under the influence of dopamine, leaving only a few stubborn traces in the corners—too dense to affect my normal thinking or bodily functions anymore.
It’s only been about an hour since my shower, but it felt endlessly long. That short hour drained nearly all my energy and spirit.
Right now, I just want to burrow into my blankets and not move an inch. Especially after that little “exercise” earlier, my body’s so soft I can barely muster any strength.
Closing my eyes, I reflected on the events of the past few days.
These past two days, my showers have been anything but peaceful. I keep running into unpleasant things right after changing—yesterday, I caught a slight cold from the chill.
Luckily, Gu Fan didn’t notice this afternoon. As for tonight’s argument with Mom and the whole transfer issue… how should I handle it?
Heh…
Truthfully, Mom’s tactic of retreating to advance caught me off guard. I was prepared to run away from home, but I never expected her, who I saw as cold and indifferent, to back down like a coward.
Since she’s said that, it’s hard for me to find an excuse to leave home early.
But in a sense, our relationship is already broken. Staying under the same roof feels suffocating for both of us. It’s better to start preparing to rent a place soon.
I can’t just talk about living independently while clinging to Mom like a leech.
Hmm, there are still a few days until next week, and exams will last three days. During this buffer period, I need to plan my next steps and move my stuff out the day exams end.
Mom shouldn’t have the legal right to force me to transfer, right?
That’s what I’m most concerned about right now. Other issues I can solve with money.
I opened my eyes, staring at the orange glow of the small lamp on my nightstand.
Sigh… I’m starting to understand how annoying people with strong control issues can be. It’s a wonder Gu Fan has put up with my overbearing moments so many times.
In terms of extreme personalities, Mom and I are pretty much on par.
Objectively speaking, it might be tied to genetics, but I think environment plays a bigger role.
Before Dad’s affair, our home was warm and happy. Mom was the epitome of a loving wife and mother, impossible to connect with the person she is now.
It wasn’t until Dad’s infidelity was confirmed that the strange traits buried deep within Mom were unleashed.
She transformed into a cold, unfeeling cat-girl, throwing herself into work most of the time. I never lacked money, but I also barely received any affection.
For some reason, my subconscious irrationally believes I’m a victim of Dad’s betrayal.
It’s as if facing me brings back those painful memories for Mom. I’ve had similar experiences, so I can somewhat empathize.
But… when you’re the one being neglected, no amount of self-comfort can fully ease the pain, can it?
What’s more, I’m just an ordinary person, not someone with unwavering resolve, unable to escape the influence of my family.
Ding-a-ling~
As I was lost in my thoughts, a ringtone suddenly echoed through the room.
I froze, snapping out of my reverie, and noticed something buzzing on the nightstand.
Oh! It’s my phone. Could it be Gu Fan calling?
I don’t have friends, and over the years, I’ve never met any relatives. It’s no surprise that a reclusive cat-girl mom raised an equally withdrawn cat-girl daughter.
Aside from scam calls or telemarketers, the only person who might call me is Gu Fan.
At that thought, I immediately scrambled up from the bed, lunging toward the nightstand. My chest thudded heavily against the bed’s edge, but thankfully, my ample padding cushioned the impact, leaving only a slight jolt.
The pain wasn’t too bad.
Beep~
“Hello? Gu Fan?”
In my rush to answer the phone, I didn’t check the screen, unsure if it was really Gu Fan calling, so my first words came out with a questioning tone.
“Yeah, it’s me. Good evening!”
“Even… good evening!”
Even though we’d seen each other this afternoon, hearing Gu Fan’s gentle, steady voice again made tears well up in my eyes.
Ugh… am I that pathetic? We’ve barely exchanged a few words, and I’m already on the verge of crying.
Maybe tonight’s events hit me too hard, making my attachment to Gu Fan stronger than ever.
“What’s wrong? Got a cold? Why’re you sniffling?”
The tears hadn’t even fallen yet, but my nose felt all tingly. I sniffled, and Gu Fan picked up on it immediately.
I quickly shook my head, then realized he couldn’t see me through the phone. Why was I making gestures at the screen? A snot bubble escaped as I laughed at myself.
Ugh, so unladylike.
Grabbing a few tissues to wipe my nose, I spoke up to ease his concern.
“No, no, just a little itch in my nose, it’s nothing.”
“Is that so? Take care of yourself, okay? You got chilled last night, and it’s pretty cold today too…”
“Mm-hmm.”
Is it cold today? I’m not sure.
After my shower, I got lost in my own world, overthinking everything. Just when I’d calmed down, Mom upset me again.
I’ve been wearing this sleep dress the whole time, wandering between the living room and my bedroom, probably getting a bit chilled.
“Are you happy with the New Year’s goods?”
“Of course! I love the stuff we bought together, Gu Fan!”
Even though it’s just ordinary small talk, I’m willing to pour all my enthusiasm into it.
These conversations might not be deep or meaningful, but they make me feel fulfilled. Right now, I desperately need this.
I just want to chat with Gu Fan, let the anxieties lingering in my heart fade, dissolve, and disappear completely.