“Gu Fan—”
I was so happy.
I really wanted to blurt out my feelings to Gu Fan just like that, but with all the gazes from the people around us, I held it back. To avoid causing unnecessary misunderstandings, I swallowed those words.
Instead, I used a gentler tone:
“Shall we find a quieter place to talk?”
I blinked, keeping my eyes fixed on Gu Fan’s expression. He didn’t show any noticeable emotion—just nodded calmly and answered with a soft “Mm.”
“Alright, follow me.”
After speaking, Gu Fan turned his head toward the surrounding onlookers.
I saw his facial expression shift instantly—the familiar perfect smile appeared once more, as if it shattered the dissatisfaction in everyone’s hearts.
Smiling, Gu Fan said:
“Sorry, I’ve got something to take care of, so I’ll be leaving first.”
He dipped his head slightly in place of a bow, then took hold of my wrist and led me toward the empty top floor of the teaching building.
I obediently followed closely behind him, clearly feeling the eyes of those people pinned to our backs. The corners of my mouth curled upward on their own.
This feeling… it was exhilarating.
I don’t usually play games, but after all, I grew up in modern times. I’d had at least some exposure to competitive games, and this feeling—it was just like that indescribable rush you get when you win.
Right now, I have this illusion that I’ve won.
After gaining Gu Fan’s affection, I was able to personally remove all obstacles, leaving only myself to enjoy his gaze and his care.
I really am greedy.
It’s not enough for me to simply be valued by Gu Fan—I also want to possess him completely, one hundred percent.
When I’m with Gu Fan, the restlessness in my heart feels as if it has been frozen by a spell, suspended in place, and clarity slowly returns to my eyes.
Many classmates brushed past us in the corridor, but I never once shifted my gaze away from Gu Fan’s back.
These past few days, I haven’t been able to indulge in my fantasies. Now that I’ve finally gotten the chance, my mind eagerly produced a series of vivid and enchanting imaginings.
I want to lean on Gu Fan’s shoulder, breathing in his unique scent.
I want even more to hold his waist—those perfectly arranged abs must feel amazing to the touch, right?
I don’t know if this craving is simply a longing for skin-to-skin contact, or if it’s my desire to deepen my bond with Gu Fan.
The only thing I am certain of… is that I may already be unable to live without him.
I realized this a long time ago, but I didn’t dare admit just how hopelessly dependent I’ve become on Gu Fan.
Looking at it this way, I should even thank my mother.
It was she who pushed me forward, forcing me to walk this one-way bridge with no turning back.
I have no choice but to give my all to become Gu Fan’s girlfriend, and in the end, his wife and the mother of his children.
Any other possible life is not one I want.
“Zhi Nian, are you okay?”
Gu Fan’s gentle voice echoed beside my ear. I slowly returned to my senses and lifted my head to look at him.
Facing Gu Fan, who gave a faint smile, his eyes lowered as he stared at me.
“You don’t look like you have much energy these days. Have you been staying up late studying?”
“…Mm… something like that.”
I lowered my voice, mumbling vaguely, trying to brush it off.
For a split second, I had the urge to tell Gu Fan the truth, hoping to gain his sympathy and affection.
But thanks to the mental preparation I’d been building up these past few days, I managed to hold myself back.
“There’s an old saying—family shame shouldn’t be made public…” That saying has some truth to it.
I don’t really care about what others think, but I do care about how Gu Fan sees the messy relationship between me and my mother.
Such ugly matters… it’s better if Gu Fan never knows.
Even if Gu Fan himself wouldn’t mind and would continue treating me the same as always, how would his family see me?
If I put myself in their shoes… suppose Gu Fan and I have a child in the future, and we raise him to adulthood.
If that child then chose a partner like me—someone with a family background that’s a complete mess—would I really approve?
Just thinking about it made me shiver. I know how dark my heart can be, and of course I wouldn’t want that kind of girl with my own child.
…Heh. Guess I really am pretty double-standard.
Clenching my right hand, my neatly trimmed round nails still dug into the flesh of my palm under the pressure, stinging with pain.
“Gu Fan…”
“What’s wrong?”
After cutting off my messy thoughts, I hesitantly called out to Gu Fan, but for a moment, I couldn’t think of what to talk about.
To be honest, I didn’t really have a topic in mind. The things I wanted to say—I couldn’t bring myself to say them yet. As for asking for a hug or anything like that… that was even harder to say.
Lowering my gaze, I made a nasal “mm” sound for a long while, before finally forcing out a topic I could at least talk about for now.
“Um… how was your exam just now? Do you feel confident about it?”
“Not bad. I’d say I performed about average. What about you, Zhi Nian?”
Suddenly being asked back, my whole body stiffened.
“Ah… it—it was fine. I think I did okay too. If so, then… we’ll definitely be in the same class.”
Honestly, I’d already almost forgotten what I had written on that exam just ten minutes ago. My attention had been completely scattered, filled with random thoughts, and I’d just answered everything on instinct.
Tsk… I really feel like I’m playing with fire. Since I want to be in the top class with Gu Fan, I have to give it my all.
“Hm, then let’s work hard together,” Gu Fan said.
After speaking, he slipped his hands into his pockets and fumbled around for a while. Then I saw him take out something wrapped in plastic.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for you. Have a mint candy—it might help you feel more refreshed. You’ve been a little absent-minded these past few days.”
“…?”
Taking the mint candy he handed me, I gently rubbed the surface of the plastic wrapper. There were words written on it…
The densely packed English letters on the package looked very delicate, but compared to that, I cared more about whether, in the past few days of texting Gu Fan, I had accidentally revealed too much of my poor state of mind.
Gu Fan nodded seriously, then unwrapped a new mint candy and tossed it into his mouth before replying.
“You seem like you really want to tell me something, but you’re too shy to say it, secretly hoping I’ll notice and ask you first. Isn’t that right?”
My thoughts had been seen through completely…
I widened my eyes, slowly pulling my gaze away from the floor, only to fix it tightly on the two curves hidden under my school uniform.
Really… it’s all your fault for stealing away all the nutrition, making me dumber than before—so much that I can’t even hide such small thoughts anymore.
Grumbling inwardly, I still didn’t dare look directly at Gu Fan, afraid of seeing that teasing expression all over his face.
“What do you think, Gu Fan? Do you find this kind of awkward personality really annoying?”
My cautious probe quickly got a response—he chuckled softly, and then I felt a big hand completely cover my cat ears.
“Silly girl, can’t you be a little more confident?”