Chapter 56: The Bathroom Ghost

Thanks to the wall I patched up, I got myself into a mess.

Right now, my only option is to use the Confuse skill to temporarily alter perception.

It worked like a charm on 202 before.

I didn’t want to pull such a shameful stunt and mess with someone’s mind, but what choice do I have?

I’ve got to survive, don’t I?

Otherwise, I’m just a pervert who broke in with the passcode, stripped naked next to a sleeping woman.

“Ughhh.”

202 fumbles with her phone by the bedside, turns off the alarm, and rolls toward my room’s wall.

Then falls back asleep.

Phew, dodged a bullet.

“Uh, ugh? 203 oppa…?”

Oh crap.

I’m prepping Confuse, ready to spout some nonsense like, “I loved you! My twisted heart… please forgive me!”

“If you’re not gay, that’d be nice… mmm.”

202 just mumbles, rolls over, and makes those mmnya mmnya sounds.

Grind, grind.

Her teeth are grinding.

“Phew.”

I let out a sigh.

If she was awake and pretending, she wouldn’t grind her teeth.

Women are sensitive about being seen sleeping, so she wouldn’t fake it, right?

Let’s get out while I can.

Her pale legs stick out from the blanket, and it looks like she’s in underwear—felt too guilty to stare.

The worry is the front door’s beep-beep-beep is loud when it opens.

Would it be better to open the balcony window and escape that way?

Or should I just yell, “Princess! Save me!” right now?

Bzzt, bzzt.

Ding-dong, da-da-dong.

Gah!

If you’re sleeping so soundly, turn off the alarm, you idiot!

No good—I bolted back to the bathroom.

Sleep again, 202. Please.

Just pass out. Please, please!

“Ughhh.”

202 turned off the alarm but stretched, sounding like she’s waking up.

This is bad.

The bathroom door’s slightly ajar, so I pretended it was the wind, closed it, and locked it.

Please, go back to sleep. Snore away.

I want a sleep spell.

I want a hypnosis spell.

I want proper Space Teleportation.

Maybe I should just yell “Princess!” like it’s coming from this room.

Make it confusing whether it’s from here or my place.

But while I’m debating calling the Sprout Fairy…

Click.

“Hm?”

Click, click.

“Ugh, what? Why’s the door like this?”

…

Sorry, 202.

I’ll bring you rice drinks, sticky rice cakes, anything. Just bear with me now.

Since our walls are connected, I could break through to escape.

If I broke the wall, that is.

“Ughhh. Gotta pee. Ugh.”

Looks like she needs to empty her bladder from last night.

Fair enough, gotta do what you gotta do.

But the door’s locked for some reason.

Can’t you use the convenience store bathroom?

Please, just go!

I’ll open the door and escape while you’re gone. Okay?

Sorry, so sorry. I’ll atone for this sin. I’ll go to church with you if you want. Call me gay, whatever. I fixed your wall, didn’t I?

I clasped my hands, praying.

“Gotta grab a coin.”

Oh no.

Bathrooms don’t have exits or vents, but some locks have a slot you can turn with a coin.

What do I do?

I need an excuse.

Why am I in her bathroom in just underwear?

I’m totally screwed, but if I had to squeeze out an excuse…

“My bathroom’s backed up, water won’t flush, and I was desperate, so I came here. Sorry.”

How do I explain the underwear?

“I always strip completely to poop.”

Would that make me seem less crazy?

“Hm? Why’s it locked again? What’s this?”

No way to salvage this—I locked the door again as she tried to open it.

“What the hell?”

202 tries the locked door, and I lock it again.

If someone saw this from an open stage, it’d look like a Tom and Jerry slapstick gag.

“What the hell!? Why’s it broken? Ugh, it’s happening again? Hey!”

Gah!

She yelled “Hey!”—did she spot me?

“Wanna watch me pee!? Pervert!? I’m not scared! I’m not showing you!”

Caught? Am I caught?

“Ugh, damn it. I hate the convenience store. Ugh.”

A while back, instead of lazing around, I wrote detailed reviews for cat food and a seafood restaurant.

Not because I wanted to.

The cat did it. The cat, I swear!

CatMan reviewed the food himself.

Not for an event—just because he can use his front paws freely.

Posted photo reviews with thumbs-up and spread paws.

Those got thousands of comments, growing in real-time.

She hung a rosary on the bathroom doorknob before leaving?

Says she saw a ghost—must think it’s a ghost’s prank.

Her reaction suggests this isn’t the first time.

Time to open the door and bolt.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

“Crap!?”

The door’s beep-beep-beep-beep sounded as I opened it, so I slammed it shut and locked it again.

Luckily, she’s too desperate to care about the bathroom door.

“Didn’t wear a bra again, ugh. Crazy girl.”

Haha, yeah, right, gotta do that.

Not saying she’s crazy.

Then 202 rings my doorbell.

[Um, oppa. 203 oppa. Can you help me out for a sec?]

Now’s my chance.

Like last time’s infiltration route, I climbed over 202’s balcony window and pipes.

Back to my room.

Floating made it safer—bonus.

Blink. Real Blink.

Choosing flight over Blink after catching that giant mosquito is my eternal regret.

[Oppa’s not here? Ugh, I hate the convenience store.]

Normally, I’d grumpily tell her to buy cigarettes at the store and use their bathroom.

But since I’m why she can’t use hers, I hurriedly dressed and opened the door.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Hi, uh, my bathroom door’s broken, broken, broken.”

“Oh, you’re in a rush. Use mine.”

“S-Sorry.”

“Want me to fix your bathroom door?”

“No, no, I’m sorry, so sorry.”

“It’s fine. The passcode’s your birthday, right?”

“Y-Yes. Oh, the lid. Uh, yeah. The door, please.”

“Sure, sure.”

202 pushed past me, paused at the toilet lid, lowered it, asked me to close the door, and then…

“The day Jiwon broke up!”

She suddenly sings.

Why’s she singing?

And like it’s a military anthem, belting it with vigor at the end.

Last time, we accidentally made noise in the bathroom together, and she sang while banging the wall.

To cover my tracks and make her think her door’s really broken, I went to her place and opened her bathroom door.

Didn’t drop anything since I was naked.

Maybe some water footprints, but they won’t CSI that, right?

Back from 202’s, she’s lingering at my front door.

“Uh, so.”

“Hey, I fixed your bathroom.”

“Really? T-Thank you. Uh, I’ll buy you food.”

No, 202.

I’ll give you rice drinks, sticky rice cakes, everything.

I’ll buy the food.

“I’ll buy.”

“What? No, you lent me your bathroom, why would you buy?”

Since I blocked her bathroom door, and I’m pretending to fix her mistake when it’s mine, the only way to smooth this over is to claim I’m into her.

“Didn’t I tell you a few times?”

“No, don’t do that. Only when you’re normal. Flirting too much and acting all interested in a girl like that’s a bit much.”

Problem is, thanks to that damn Sultan Boy Band bromide, her first impression of me is locked in defense mode.

It’s not a big deal to keep this stalemate, but…

“I’m not gay.”

I almost hit 202’s bathroom wall but stopped, scared it’d break.

Hit the door crack instead.

So much for tough wall-banging.

“Huh?”

I’ve got five more Space Teleportation practice runs.

No guarantee this won’t happen again.

Thought her singing was crazy, but it’s just her not wanting her bathroom noises heard—natural.

Not that crazy, so my aversion to her lessened.

Gotta clear the misunderstanding.

“Not cool. Think it’s fun to keep pushing that on someone who says no? Does it feel good to mess with people’s perceptions?”

I infiltrated a woman’s room naked, controlled her bathroom, and made her use mine embarrassingly.

Yet I’m the one getting mad.

Like the farter blaming others.

“N-No, I didn’t mean—”

Why’s she looking at the bromide again?

Blaming the bromide now?

This time, I put up a bromide from Noble Lady Academy with three girls.

202 points at it.

“That one… it’s a cross-dressing guy, right?”

“What?”

The new bromide’s the cover of Noble Lady Academy with three long-haired girls.

The prettiest blonde in the middle is a guy?

No way, it’s clearly a girl character!

“Make sense, please.”

“What? You’re lying because you think I don’t know? I read that novel. So you like guys like that…”

No way!

I searched on my phone, and it’s really a guy.

This is nonsense!

Drawing a girl and calling it a guy—what’s that about?

“Convince me with some sense. And… I feel bad for you. I’m not joking, if you really like me and can love me convincingly, go for it. Don’t say it like a joke.”

…

“If that’s the case?”

“Huh?”

“It’s a ridiculous misunderstanding. What if I’m trying to improve? What then?”

This time, 202’s cognitive dissonance is forcing the issue, giving me room to push back.

From gay to cross-dresser to normal—progression’s possible, right?

…

Her eyes widen.

“I-I’ll buy food later. Thanks for always helping. I’m going.”

202 bolts like she’s scared.

Was she freaked out?

No way she’s calming herself by labeling me gay to hide growing feelings, right?

Anyway, I infiltrated a girl’s room naked and got her to buy me food.

“What’s with that alarm…”

***

Gotta buy a new cordless vacuum.

Finally time to get that robot vacuum I held off on because it was pricey.

Opened online shopping and saw thousands of notifications.

This town links portals and shopping, so emails are tied in.

I delete spam and useless alerts to keep things clean.

Thought it was spam, but…

“Whoa?”

A while back, instead of lazing around, I wrote detailed reviews for cat food and a seafood restaurant.

Not because I wanted to.

The cat did it. The cat, I swear!

CatMan reviewed the food himself.

Not for an event—just because he can use his front paws freely.

Posted photo reviews with thumbs-up and spread paws.

Those got thousands of comments, growing in real-time.

One comment stood out:

[Hello! This is XXX. Thank you for reviewing our product.]

[Your cat photos, UlMomConstipationKing, are so popular we’d like to use them for promotion.]

[Our team wants to meet the cat and take photos with permission. Please reply.]

“…Well, damn.”

I knew CatMan had income potential.

I don’t care for personal streaming or posting, just vaguely thought about it.

Never tried it.

Didn’t post CatMan’s toilet antics, though I knew they’d get views.

But with thousands of comments proving his popularity, it’d be weird not to use it.

“Hey, CatMan. How about being an ad model?”

[This human ate dog food or what?]

“Wanna eat dog food starting today?”

[The moment I bark, you won’t send me to a psych ward?]

A cat talking about psych wards.

“Rabies, maybe. So, model?”

[Even so, modeling’s too much.]

“Rock-paper-scissors?”

[Fine.]

CatMan can do rock, paper, scissors with his grip, spread, and thumbs-up.

But…

[Cheater. Only throwing paper?]

His paw structure makes scissors tough, so paper’s almost a guaranteed win.

“You lost, right?”

[Even a rat’s less sneaky than you.]

“Lost, so go. Make money.”

He even pulls a sulky cat face.

So cute.

“I’ll take you to Noeun-dong fish market.”

[Insulting me with a fish market?]

“It’s shrimp season.”

[Where else could I serve a master like you?]