Chapter 55: Tissue Man

Finally, my Magic broke 100, and I achieved Space Teleportation.

Among the dragon’s gifts, there’s a book related to Space Teleportation, said to help level it up.

“Princess? They say this book can raise my level, right?”

“You need more levels!”

According to the Sprout Fairy, that’s the deal.

Space Teleportation LV1 requires practicing with my body, but after that, the book can help level it up.

I might even be able to read it now.

Since acquiring Sage of the Attic, I’ve started understanding otherworld languages, and synthesis item descriptions are visible.

But…

“Where do I get a microscope?”

Even if I understand the language, the book’s too tiny to read—Sage of the Attic or not.

The monsters’ small bodies already make their translated descriptions hard to read, and this book’s even smaller.

For now, I’ll raise Space Teleportation from LV1 to LV2 to remove the “base-only” and “no equipment” restrictions.

First, I checked for vacant units in my one-room building through real estate sites.

“No vacancies?”

Nothing on the internet or at the agency.

So I visited the landlord grandpa directly.

He lives separately but keeps a base on the top floor of the building.

Must be nice owning so many properties.

“None available.”

“Really?”

“Probably not till February. This place is popular. You can see the university gate from here, right?”

I thought small-town one-rooms would have plenty of vacancies, but nope.

Checked real estate forums too—this place is in demand.

As the grandpa said, you can see the university gate.

It’s pricier than the one-rooms near the university district, but the neighborhood’s quiet and safe, so a lot of women live here.

Most people I pass entering the building with the keypad are women.

Across the ecological restoration stream is the old hot spring entertainment district.

Cross the main road, and it’s the university area.

Both have lots of one-rooms with cheaper rent, but for a calm environment, this spot—near academies and the main road—is ideal.

“But why do you need another room? Got someone moving in?”

“No, no. Don’t you ever open the rooftop?”

“Nope. Hey, bachelor, you’re not thinking anything weird, are you?”

If there’s no vacancy, I considered using the rooftop as a base.

But with tall buildings around overlooking it, and a 10-hour cooldown with no way back…

It’s getting chilly—I don’t want to freeze naked on a rooftop.

“You’re in 203, right?”

“Yes.”

“You know what the girl in 202 does?”

“Not really.”

“The girl in 201’s complaining about wall-banging noises. That’s not you, right?”

Skull training?

She still hasn’t stopped that headbutting practice?

“It’s loud enough to reach there?”

“Nah, not really.”

If vibrations from 203 reached 201, I’d blame the building’s design and construction.

I hinted at that, and the grandpa quickly dismissed the suspicion.

Landlords and tenants always clash over noise—building’s fault vs. people’s fault.

“Oh, by the way.”

“Yeah, what?”

“They say 202’s haunted. Was it always like that?”

“What? No way. Haunted? You, a young guy, scared of ghosts? A man?”

Men can be scared of ghosts too, you know!

But the grandpa’s reaction was a bit odd.

It’s not actually a haunted unit, is it?

202’s vibe screams exorcist-level.

“Only normal guy on the second floor’s you. Anyway, got it. If someone moves out, I’ll let you know.”

“Any chance you’d sell a unit?”

“Buy one? You making some money, bachelor?”

“I like it here. If I make enough, I’d buy.”

“Get a car first, then find a wife.”

Where’s this idea that a car gets you a wife come from?

“But 203.”

“Yes?”

“You… got a dog?”

Whoa, that look in his eyes…

Like he’d kill whoever’s responsible.

Cold sweat ran down my back.

“No, no dog.”

“Really?”

“Why do you ask?”

Dog food’s stored, not raised.

“It’s just, some dog was barking like crazy recently. Thought it was 504, but their dog’s tiny—can’t bark that loud.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Checked other units, heard barking from the second floor, so I wondered. Really not you?”

“Of course not.”

He’s half-suspicious.

Didn’t want to die by his cane, so I deflected.

“But, uh, I have a cat. That okay?”

“They’re fine unless they’re in heat. Not like a baby crying.”

Pretty lenient for an old-timer.

Rare guy.

Cats don’t have much loyalty, though.

“Heard that.”

“Some people complain about noise, so get them fixed. Even bachelors raise cats these days?”

“Better than them crawling into car engines and blowing up.”

“Where’d you pick it up? Still, better to find a wife and raise kids than cats. And don’t hit on the girls here.”

“Yes, yes.”

“And, uh.”

“Yes?”

“Watch those Japanese videos quietly. People keep saying they hear it in the hallway.”

“What? That’s not me!”

“I heard my song too. That suki suki suki daisuki yo. Suki means like, right?”

“Isn’t that 204?”

“Maybe? Suki suki daisuki.”

Grandpa’s… pretty open-minded.

Why’s he humming and shrugging his shoulders?

By the way, 204, that jerk.

Still no earphones?

Blasting audio like that—I don’t get the vibe.

Audiophile thing?

Good thing I didn’t punch a hole in that direction.

Compared to 204, 202’s just thick-headed and kind of cute.

“Sigh. Where do I train Space Teleportation?”

Hearing there’s no vacancy left me deflated.

Waiting until February’s an option, but I don’t want to.

Since I need to start naked from my base, practicing 10 times is tough.

If it weren’t for the base issue, I’d have options.

There are old hot springs nearby—train in them at times seniors don’t go, teleporting east to west naked wouldn’t be impossible.

But right now, I can only start from my base, which is my home.

My head slowly turned to the next unit.

202…

If I got close enough to 202 to be okay naked, problem solved, right?

“Nah, bad idea.”

I’d get brutally rejected.

But it did cross my mind.

She tensed her thighs when putting on pants, then relaxed them…

Can’t forget that.

Even if I used 202’s place, she seems like a student but doesn’t go to school.

Not a student? Cosplaying?

Just sleeps.

Then I got an idea.

“Hm.”

Close the bathroom and balcony doors to make separate spaces.

If I treat them as distinct, could I use Space Teleportation?

“Princess.”

“Yeah!”

“I’m gonna train Space Teleportation. What happens if something goes wrong?”

“You might end up in a weird dimension for a bit!”

“Weird dimension?”

That’s scary.

Like seeing the mysteries of the universe or a black hole?

“So… how would you save me, Princess?”

“Just call ‘Princess!’ and I’ll hear you!”

“Just call you?”

“Yup!”

Well, the range is under 10 meters, so she’d hear me.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do great! I believe in you!”

I accidentally taught her a lot of curses, but she only says nice things to me.

“Thanks, Princess.”

“Hehe!”

Alright, I’m a wizard now.

I cast Space Teleportation.

They said to think of the destination.

Closed the door.

Mentally repeated “my bathroom, my bathroom” a few times.

“Oh!?”

[Space Teleportation!] flashed near my eyes and forehead.

In a blink, I was in my bathroom.

Success!

A skill to cut bathroom travel time!

Even if the bathroom door breaks and traps me, I can escape without a phone!

At 36,000-second cooldown, I can clear LV1 in five days.

Among magic, healing’s the most practical, but Space Teleportation is unmatched for utility.

I love staying cooped up, but I also love overseas travel.

Both need money to fully enjoy.

Space Teleportation nails both.

“Space Teleportation.”

I’ve been casting it whenever the cooldown’s up to level it.

I’ve hit four practice runs teleporting to my bathroom.

This is the fifth.

There’s some error, but short distances reduce the chance. No mishaps so far.

So far.

“Uh, what!? Huh!?”

The bathroom’s layout is reversed.

This is…

Oh no.

Not my bathroom.

Teleporting to a closed bathroom…

It’s such a short distance, I was just raising the level with a secretive teen-son vibe, like peeking at a kid locking the door.

I underestimated LV1’s coordinate error.

This is someone else’s bathroom, but LV1 only lets you teleport to places you’ve been.

Been to.

202, right?

The bathroom door’s not locked, so I peeked out.

“Mmm, mmm.”

202’s asleep, thankfully.

What, sleeping at this hour?

Even a sloth’s more active.

“Ugh.”

The inventory I got from catching CatMan.

At LV1, it’s like a small basket, holding folded underwear.

Always prepared for sudden situations.

But otherwise, it’s just tissues—useless.

Overprepared for stomachaches…

Damn it.

Should’ve stored a mask or something.

The Sprout Fairy said to call her if I end up somewhere weird during training.

“P-Princess…”

Can’t call her.

Sorry, Princess.

“Princess…”

I whispered, hoping she’d hear, but no way.

Even with her pointy ears, she can’t catch this.

My inventory and summon levels are low, so there’s a 30-minute cooldown per item.

So, underwear or tissues?

Full-body or partial?

Tissues could cover me fully, but wrapping myself like a mummy and getting caught on hallway CCTV? Underwear’s better.

Running out of a woman’s place in underwear looks pathetic, like a caught cheater, but it’s humanly possible.

A guy wrapped in tissues isn’t.

I summoned and wore the underwear.

Idiot, worrying over nothing.

Naked in someone else’s bathroom, with their tissues hanging there—why even worry?

Stealing their tissues?

Tissue Thief…

Not a title I want.

Wearing the underwear, I crouched to sneak past 202, who’s asleep on the bed.

Crawling makes noise from skin rubbing.

So I bent low to leave.

Bzzt, bzzt.

Ding-dong, da-da-dong, ding-dong, da-da-dong, ding-dong-dong, da-da-da-dong.

“Gah!”

202’s phone alarm started blaring.