Side Story: Crying Kitty Head

Cat ears… hop, hop, hop… their rhythm almost matching the beat of my heart, making me worry that Gu Fan might notice just how happy I am right now.

Even though I could openly and honestly tell him how ridiculously happy I am at this moment, after so many years of being neglected and bullied, I still can’t believe that someone as useless as me could actually receive even the faintest bit of warmth, a blessing from the sun itself.

This is the second time Gu Fan has held my hand. To this day, I still remember the first moment our fingers intertwined. That sweet current raced up my spine so quickly, my brain couldn’t even process the chaotic feelings sent by my nerves.

That day, I stumbled home in a daze, only coming back to my senses once I lay in bed.

Because Gu Fan already “took” my hand once before, this time, as I experienced the happiness of holding hands again, I managed to resist the urge to throw myself into Gu Fan’s arms and bawl.

The cat tail behind me trembled violently for a while before I finally calmed myself, carefully feeling the warmth and fine lines of Gu Fan’s palm.

It’s a shame I can’t tell fortunes—otherwise, maybe I could read his palm to see when he’d confess to me, or formally accept the burning love I have for him. Maybe even see if our baby would be a boy or a girl… or when we’d get married.

No, no, that’s not right—how could we have a baby first, then get married? Wouldn’t that make it a shotgun wedding? Gu Fan definitely wouldn’t like being tricked into marriage like that.

I shook my head hard, tossing out such unrealistic fantasies. What I should be doing right now is simply enjoying this wonderful moment of holding hands with Gu Fan. All those extra, unnecessary thoughts should be set aside, so nothing can keep me from etching the feeling of this moment deep into my memory.

My palm tickled, as if tiny arcs of electricity were bouncing between our tightly linked hands.

Gu Fan’s fingers look slender, but when we actually hold hands, I realize they’re more than half a size bigger than mine. The distinct bones and the safety of being held so securely make me feel like I’m walking on air—as if I’m sitting on a soft cloud, and even the stone pavement under my feet has become grassy ground.

So happy, so happy… I want to get even closer.

Unidentified trees by the roadside drop their yellowed leaves with a rustling sound. The trunks and branches are now bare, dark brown—like a barber has mercilessly shaved them bald. The season really has turned to leaf-shedding time.

I sneak a glance at the boy walking beside me. Sunlight streams through the bare brown branches, landing on him. From the side, it’s as if the gods themselves have gilded him with a golden halo.

His Adam’s apple moves just the right amount, plucking at the string of rationality in my heart—taut, but not enough to snap, just letting it settle naturally where it belongs.

But his fingerprints still remain there, and only the slow passage of time will wear them away. Otherwise, they’ll keep interfering with my choices and judgments.

Uwah, uwah… could someone this perfect really be my one and only childhood sweetheart?

Suddenly, I kind of understand why my mom was once so wrapped around my dad’s finger—so much so that she only confronted him and divorced him after raising me to the age where I could cook for myself.

From what some relatives back in my hometown let slip during their chats, my parents grew up in the same village, even lived nearby, attended the same rural primary and middle school, and accompanied each other for many years, building a deep emotional foundation.

Plus, Dad’s appearance really was exceptional, with those charming, peach-blossom eyes and the upturned, rosy corners that looked like natural eyeshadow—he seemed to be seducing everyone he looked at.

When I was little and Dad took me to visit his company, the female employees would always come over to greet him. I couldn’t understand it then, but now that I’ve become a girl myself—and a catgirl, with senses far sharper than ordinary girls—I can finally imagine what they must have been thinking.

If I’d never met Gu Fan, but ran into him by chance at work one day in the future, I’d definitely try to “accidentally” bump into him every day, just to feast my eyes on such a handsome guy.

Thinking of this, I can’t help but feel lucky that my elementary school self was fortunate enough to be found by Gu Fan, crying like a useless lump in the roadside bushes. He didn’t mind at all, even wiped the dust from my face with a tissue and gave me water. I still remember it—Gu Fan has always been a gentle sun.

Getting bolder, I openly gaze at Gu Fan’s profile, not bothering to hide it anymore. Right now, he’s more dazzling than the sun hanging high in the sky, but he doesn’t hurt my eyes one bit. Even though a few grateful tears are hanging at the corners of my eyes, I silently thank fate for letting me meet Gu Fan again, get to know him again, and even have the chance to spend my whole life with him.

Maybe my expression is just too obvious, because even Gu Fan, carefully watching the road and leading me along, notices something is up.

“Zhi Nian? Why are you crying? Did you get something in your eye?”

Gu Fan slows his pace, steering me toward the nearby botanical garden, where there are still some empty stone benches.

The big, warm hand holding mine starts to slip away. I don’t know if Gu Fan wants to wipe my tears or if my sudden behavior scared him and he wants to keep his distance.

Either way, I’m not letting Gu Fan leave my side so easily.

So I squeeze his hand tighter, pulling him closer to me, and sniffle loud enough for Gu Fan to hear as I say,

“It’s… it’s nothing, really. I’m just so happy you’re willing to hold my hand, Gu Fan, I can’t help myself—I just kind of want to cry.”

My answer makes Gu Fan suddenly laugh out loud. Was that too ridiculous? Of course he’d think so—who would like a kitty head that just randomly starts crying? Most people would be put off.

Gu Fan steps around in front of me, bending down slightly so we’re face-to-face.

“Why would you want to cry? Silly Zhi Nian, you’re supposed to smile happily at times like this.”

“I-I don’t dare smile… Smiling now would feel way too weird… I feel embarrassed and tingly all over, and besides, there’s a lot of people around…”

That last bit is a little white lie.

What I really wanted to say is that I suddenly felt the urge to run away and hide under my covers, somewhere no one could bother me—but I managed to suppress it.

I can’t bear to let go of the warmth and happiness Gu Fan gives me. Even if I’m the only one feeling it, and he might not be happy holding hands with me, I’ve already been conquered and remade by him. No matter what gentle thing he does, I’ll be moved, changed into this hopelessly twisted form.

“Is it crowded?”

Gu Fan straightens up and scans the area. There are plenty of couples on the path to the botanical garden, along with groups of friends just chatting and strolling.

“Yeah, it does seem a little crowded… Why don’t we go to the auditorium? Nobody will bother us there.”

“Eh? Gu Fan, are you going to…”

Before I can finish imagining something inappropriate, Gu Fan nods, almost confirming my guess: “Did you forget the promise I made you a few days ago? I have a gift to give you, one that’s just right for today.”