Chapter 18: What If I Can Never Like Her?

Vanessa didn’t speak.

She shifted her gaze away from Ke Leya’s face, then reached out again to take that slightly cool hand. Her fingertips closed in, wrapping the small hand fully in her palm.

“Let’s go.”

Her voice was flat.

Ke Leya couldn’t tell if she was angry.

Led by Vanessa, she walked at her side, head lowered, watching their shadows briefly overlap and separate under the sunlight.

In her mind, the System spoke cautiously.

[Host, what you just said was pretty hurtful.]

“I know,”

Ke Leya replied in her mind.

[Then why did you say it?]

Ke Leya fell silent.

She thought Vanessa must be angry.

Why else would she suddenly stop looking at her, stop asking what else she wanted to eat?

From the street drifted the sweet burnt smell of sugar-fried chestnuts, along with the fragrant aroma of hot buttered bread.

Her throat moved slightly.

She looked away.

[You want some?]

The System caught her reaction.

“Yeah.”

[Then tell her. Be a little cute, and she’ll definitely buy it for you.]

“No.”

Ke Leya refused bluntly.

She had just said something like that; she had no right to ask for things now.

Vanessa didn’t walk fast; her pace was steady, just enough for Ke Leya to keep up.

She didn’t look back.

Her gaze swept over the street vendors, passed the steaming hot food, and then fell back ahead.

Vanessa wasn’t angry.

She was just thinking.

What had the soul inside Ke Leya experienced before?

Abandoned?

Hurt?

Or had she never been truly loved?

Vanessa’s fingers gently stroked the back of Ke Leya’s hand.

That hand was soft, lying quietly in her palm.

She, too, was in love for the first time.

She didn’t know how to get close to someone, to make them lower their guard, to tell them they could be liked.

She didn’t even know what “like” meant to Ke Leya.

Was it something as delicious as roast chicken leg, something she wanted?

Or something more complicated and heavy?

A small crowd of children gathered around a candy apple stall.

The shiny red sugar shells gleamed enticingly in the sunlight.

Vanessa noticed Ke Leya turn her head to look, then quickly look away.

She stopped.

“Want some?”

She tilted her face to look at Ke Leya.

Ke Leya immediately shook her head, her silver twin tails swaying slightly with the motion.

“No.”

Vanessa hummed in acknowledgment, not calling her out.

She turned back to the vendor and said,

“One.”

Then she held out the apple, coated in a thick, bright-red sugar shell, in front of Ke Leya.

Ke Leya didn’t take the ruby-like candy apple.

She lifted her eyes to Vanessa.

“What are you…”

“Take it if I give it to you.”

Vanessa shoved the stick into her hand.

“Throw it away if you don’t want it.”

Ke Leya held the candy apple.

Her fingertips touched the cold, hard sugar shell.

She lowered her head and tentatively licked it.

Sweet.

She took another small bite.

The sugar shell cracked with a crisp crunch, revealing the cool, juicy flesh inside.

Vanessa watched her nibble at it, a bit of sugar residue stuck to the corner of her mouth.

She reached out her thumb and wiped it away.

“Like it?”

Ke Leya nodded, her mouth full of apple, humming a vague “Mm.”

“Good,”

Vanessa said, taking her hand and continuing forward.

“Tell me whatever you like.”

Ke Leya’s chewing slowed.

She looked at Vanessa’s profile, at her sharp jawline and pressed lips.

“But…”

she said quietly.

“But what?”

Vanessa didn’t turn around.

“I just now…”

“You just said not to like me.”

Vanessa cut Ke Leya off, her tone calm.

“I heard you.”

Ke Leya fell silent, her fingers tightening around the stick of the candy apple.

“That’s your business,”

Vanessa continued.

She swung Ke Leya’s hand gently.

“My liking you isn’t based on the premise that you like me. It’s that I inherently like you.”

She stopped, turned around, and faced Ke Leya.

Her gray eyes looked straight into those evasive crimson ones.

“You can reject me, you can run away, but I’ll always follow you.”

Ke Leya stared at her blankly.

The sweetness of the candy apple still lingered in her mouth, but her throat felt dry.

Vanessa’s expression was serious—no joking, no anger.

“I…”

She opened her mouth, not knowing what to say.

“Eat yours.”

Vanessa interrupted her, took her hand again, and turned to keep walking.

“It won’t be as good to bite into cold.”

Ke Leya was led along mechanically. She took another bite of the candy apple.

The sweetness remained, but the stifled feeling in her chest seemed to loosen just a little.

[Host.]

The System said softly.

“Mm?”

[She’s really good at this.]

“…”

[Seriously, in my database, this kind of straightforward yet slightly assertive approach has a high success rate.]

[And she’s not mad at you. She’s trying to understand you.]

The System’s voice was unusually serious for a moment.

[She’s wondering why you said that.]

Ke Leya slowly chewed the apple, sweet juice spreading over her tongue.

“System.”

[Here.]

“What does it feel like to like someone?”

[Uh…]

The System stalled.

[Well, it varies from person to person.]

[Probably… being happy when you see her, missing her when you don’t, wanting to be good to her, wanting to give her all the best things, feeling uncomfortable when she’s sad… something like that?]

“Oh.”

Ke Leya seemed to understand, but not fully.

Did she feel happy when she saw Vanessa?

It seemed like a little bit.

Did she miss her when she didn’t see her?

But they had only known each other for such a short time.

Want to be good to her?

But their relationship was just a deal.

Yet imagining Vanessa sad made something uncomfortable in her heart.

Did that count?

She didn’t know.

Vanessa led her into a slightly quieter alley.

At the end of the alley, an old woman was selling baked pies, the aroma of char and meat wafting over.

Ke Leya’s attention was drawn again.

This time Vanessa didn’t ask.

She walked over directly and bought two, wrapped them in oil paper, and handed one to Ke Leya.

The pie was very hot. Ke Leya switched it between her hands, blew on it, and bit into it.

The crust crumbled.

“Delicious,”

she whispered.

“Mm,”

Vanessa responded, taking a bite herself.

She ate quickly.

Ke Leya finished the last bite, licked the grease off her fingertips, and secretly glanced up at Vanessa.

Vanessa happened to be looking at her too.

“Anything else you want to eat?”

Vanessa asked.

Ke Leya shook her head.

“Full.”

“Then head back?”

“Yeah.”

On the way back, Vanessa still held her hand.

Ke Leya watched the street scenes recede bit by bit.

The excitement and curiosity from earlier faded, replaced by a faint weariness.

She remembered what Vanessa had said.

Back in the hotel room, Vanessa closed the door.

“Rest this afternoon,”

she said.

“I’ll take you somewhere tonight.”

“Where?”

“You’ll know when we get there.”

Vanessa walked to the window and checked the latch.

“Sleep now.”

Ke Leya lay back on the bed and pulled the covers over herself.

She watched Vanessa walk to the chair on the other side of the room, sit down, lean back against the wall, and close her eyes.

She wasn’t leaving.

Ke Leya turned onto her side, facing the wall.

In her mind, the System chattered on.

[Host, what kind of person do you think she is?]

Ke Leya thought for a moment.

“Very capable,”

she said.

“She knows a lot of things, and she’s probably strong in a fight.”

[Anything else?]

“She’s good to me.”

[Just good?]

Ke Leya fell silent. She didn’t know how to define that kind of kindness.

“System.”

[Hm?]

“What if… what if I can never like her? What do I do?”

The System was silent for a long time.

[Then tell her you don’t like her. Be honest. But whether she’ll listen or not, I don’t know.]

It said finally.

[After all, we’re going to leave once we complete the mission. Even if you like her, we can’t stay with her forever.]