Chapter 320: Suspension

“That’s just your own delusion. He might be watching for a chance to take revenge, acting in front of you.”

“That’s impossible. Earlier, when that criminal’s kid from the Offrausi Family tried to splash acid on me, you saw Reysir move to protect me, didn’t you?”

“What does that prove?”

“If he truly still hated me, he wouldn’t have cared whether I got hurt or not.”

“Perhaps he wanted to harm you with his own hands, not someone else’s. Or maybe he’s planning to earn your trust first, then use it to drag you into a pit you can never escape. Or else… he’s just planning to use you.”

Valtraus listed these absurd possibilities with a dead serious face.

His voice was filled with conviction.

He didn’t seem to believe for a second that Reysir genuinely cared for me.

‘At this rate, is Valtraus suffering from a distrust of people?’

Come to think of it, Valtraus, like Karbaldr, was a direct descendant of the Ducal House. It occurred to me that cunning human beings like Tridric might have clung to him too. Assuming that, I could understand why someone who hated Karbaldr would step forward to offer “advice.”

‘It’s not because he’s worried about his younger brother, but because he’s reminded of what happened to himself in the past!

Didn’t I meddle with Skadi in Chapter 12 for a similar reason?

So I understand.

That mindset of unconsciously projecting yourself onto the other person because your trauma has been triggered, and interpreting everything through your own lens.’

‘The only difference is that back then I guessed right, and now Valtraus is giving the wrong answer.’

After this train of thought, I understood Valtraus’s attitude.

But regardless, I absolutely could not understand the content of his words.

“No matter how much he apologized, wrapping your arms around someone who once tormented you and sticking close for so long… that’s no ordinary malice. He must have made up his mind thoroughly. If you don’t keep your wits sharp and stay alert, you’ll really get burned badly.”

That Reysir had malice was a clear fact.

If not, he wouldn’t have gritted his teeth and honed his martial skills for the past ten years. Especially considering that in the Pre-Remake Original, he somehow managed to keep living despite the repeated deaths of those around him.

But he would never stoop to flattering his object of hatred, putting on a smiling face in front while preparing to stab him in the back.

He never did such cowardly acts.

The words “Is that the only way you can interpret a character?” tickled my throat, clamoring to be let out.

“Reysir is absolutely not the kind of person to betray others! You don’t even know how generous, affectionate, and principled he is!! Don’t speak carelessly!”

“Myaang, myaang!!”

The wise and clever Baby Dragon nodded in agreement with my words.

Yet Valtraus’s tinted glasses refused to come off.

“You who speak like that—aren’t you also unsure whether he truly considers you a friend?”

“What… do you mean…?”

Did he know that I’ve been going around claiming I’ve never become friends with Reysir?

For a moment, that thought flashed through my mind, and I involuntarily froze.

The other person curled one corner of his mouth, as if saying, “I knew it.”

“If you truly trusted him, you would have honestly told him that your relationship with your family—including me—isn’t great, so even if you got close, it’s impossible to help using the family’s power. But he clearly had no idea about that.”

Oh, so that’s it.

For a moment, I flinched for no reason.

“Why would I bring that up? Reysir treats the unrelated women of House Vittnir as family, and they get along well. If he found out I’ve been ignored by my blood relatives, how would he feel? He’d pity me, and every time family matters came up, he’d tiptoe around me.”

“So that’s why you didn’t tell him?”

“Yes. Not because I don’t trust Reysir, but because I didn’t want to worry him.”

“Hah…”

Valtraus let out a hollow laugh, making it clear he didn’t sympathize with my words in the slightest.

If there’s one thing that became certain from his earlier display of distrust and this recent remark, it was:

“Brother, you don’t have any friends, do you?”

“How could that be? Even if you’ve lost your memory, you must know that since childhood I’ve served the First Prince as his playmate. Surely you’ve received information on that?”

The moment he used the word “served,” I doubted he could call that a friend.

But Valtraus himself seemed unaware of that, and I wasn’t in a position to add anything about friends.

So I decided to just pretend I didn’t notice.

“Ah, I forgot about that. You just acted like you have no friends.”

“Wha-what?!”

“You must be tired. Why don’t you head back to the Capital and rest now?”

If Valtraus had seen how brightly and cheerfully Reysir laughed when talking to me, he wouldn’t doubt his intentions anymore.

But I didn’t want to drag him to Reysir’s room and show him being teased.

So I conveyed my wish for him to go home, wash his feet, and sleep, but…

“Are you trying to chase me out now?”

“Well, I don’t want to hear any more slander about the people around me.”

“If that’s your will, then let’s talk about something else.”

“No, just get out of my room!!”

The arrogant Valtraus once again ignored my words and said what he wanted.

“That matters of the past are no problem—that’s not something you should say, is it?”

He even dragged up a topic from long ago to criticize.

I almost wondered if his real goal was to pick a fight with me.

‘Should I just spill coffee on him, despite the hassle of cleaning up?’

I fingered the lukewarm cup, gauging the angle, but that would only make things worse.

There’s no way Valtraus would walk outside looking like he’d been drenched in coffee.

He’d definitely rummage through my wardrobe for a change of clothes and then lock himself in the bathroom.

So I was pondering another method when:

“You have no memory of the past, yet you keep bringing up that time, insisting on planting guilt in me and Sister. You’re clearly still dissatisfied. So how can you be so sure that someone who was bullied by you has forgiven everything?”

He brought up the past words again.

It meant: Even you, who have no memory of being ostracized by your family, are still full of complaints—so how can you be certain that someone who remembers being bullied has forgiven everything?

“I have no intention of apologizing to you, so that’s fine, but shouldn’t you at least treat Sister better? She apologized to you with tears in her eyes.”

His shameless attitude truly infuriated me.

He didn’t even plan to apologize to his own younger brother, yet he thought he had the right to meddle.

‘He probably thinks my words are contradictory…

But this is a different case.

I am not Karbaldr, so I couldn’t forgive on his behalf. That’s why I didn’t accept the apology.’

But I couldn’t reveal these circumstances, so I spoke using a situation he could understand.

“If I accepted Sister’s apology and got along well with her without knowing the exact weight of 18 years of resentment and loneliness, and then my memories returned… What if I find it so heartbreaking that I can never forgive her, but she’s already been forgiven and has buried the past, shedding her guilt? And then she treats me casually—how do you think I would feel?”

Even I, merely borrowing Karbaldr’s body and being a stranger,

if I had to shoulder his memories, I thought I might find the other person so detestable I couldn’t stand it.

No, actually, I already feel that way to some extent.

So what if Karbaldr himself came back?

I don’t think that will happen for now, but if I were to guess how he might feel…

“Unsolved resentment and loneliness, plus added unfairness—I might go mad.”

“……!”

Valtraus flinched, his shoulders twitching.

Did he think my words were plausible enough? Or was the content simply shocking?

If he had tried to understand his memory‑lost younger brother’s feelings, he could have guessed this much. How surprising.

“Anyway, I didn’t know you cared so much for Sister. You two must have built a close bond since childhood, leaving me out. Ah! So that’s why you force me to accept her apology? Because if I sacrifice and endure alone, all problems disappear. You don’t want Sister to worry, but you don’t care if I suffocate in pain.”

“That’s not exactly…”

“You wrap up forgiveness as if it’s the best choice and duty for the victim, demand that I obey meekly, and then say something like that? You openly hated me for irrational reasons and still do—yet you casually utter such words. How can I possibly believe that ‘not exactly’? Have some conscience.”

Was it because I, who had always used respectful language, suddenly dropped into casual speech?

The other person’s face rapidly filled with embarrassment.

“Now, that way of speaking…”

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“You… uh… well…”

Maybe he thought he should show at least a shred of conscience.

Or perhaps the confusion hadn’t cleared, leaving him speechless.

Since Valtraus only stammered without answering, I decided to finish what I was saying.

“Just because I have no memory doesn’t mean I can easily forgive and move on. On the contrary, that’s why I can’t casually speak of forgiveness. It’s ridiculous that I, the victim, have to explain even this.”

“……”

“I hope you won’t bring up Reysir again. I believe he’s absolutely not that kind of person, but even if, as you say, he still bears a grudge and tries to harm me—that’s not because he’s dangerous or evil, but simply because my own wrongdoing has come back to me as karma.”

“……”

“Please refrain from slandering someone who is only a victim with groundless speculation.”

“……”

After explaining so thoroughly and kindly,

surely he won’t come back later to force forgiveness on me or warn me to be wary of Reysir.

“It seems you have nothing more to say. Please leave now.”

“R-right…”

Unlike before, Valtraus didn’t ignore my dismissal. He immediately stood up, gathered his familiar, and left.

He looked almost as if he was running away.