“Theresia…”
“…”
“Paratheresia…”
“…”
I don’t know when it started, but whenever I slept at night, I could often hear a woman’s murmuring voice.
The voice was often accompanied by the chirping of summer cicadas or the calls of birds in early spring, making me feel as though I were surrounded by nature, relaxed and at peace.
“…”
“Paratheresia, I hope you can find your own long-cherished wish.”
“…”
“I miss you.”
“It’s raining heavily today. I’m sitting alone in the study, watching the rain pour outside while playing chess against myself. The sunward field mice taking shelter from the rain at the manor are playing at stacking themselves like cats by the door, forming a big furry clump.”
“…”
The strange thing was that not long after this voice first appeared, I would intermittently hear her soft murmurs again.
“I’m doing well over here. Lumilan only has girls, and everyone is very cute.”
“Five years apart, I wonder how you’ve been. Did you stick to your original dream of becoming a writer, or did you go find a job? Hmm… if I had to guess, even if you were starving, you’d still hold on to your dream of writing, right? You’ve had that kind of personality since you were little.”
“I really wish you could see the world over here too: pure, clean, dreamlike, beautiful… A world where no one schemes against anyone, where everyone can always live happily with a smile…”
“…”
During midday breaks, in dreams at night, or… even during naps between work, I could always hear her voice.
Yes, I would never forget this voice.
She had accompanied me from childhood all the way to university graduation, and had already become the most important part of my life.
However, not long after I graduated from university, a sudden car accident took her away and also took away the meaning of my life.
After that, I drifted through life in a daze for nearly three years, and only with great difficulty did I manage to walk out of the shadow of losing the person I loved.
In recent years, that voice in my dreams had awakened the memories I had painfully buried.
There was no doubt that it was her voice. Even her tone of speech from those old days was exactly the same…
Was it an auditory hallucination caused by excessive grief? Or some strange supernatural phenomenon?
As a novelist, I really hoped it was the latter, but the harsh reality still made me attribute everything to the physical discomfort caused by being too busy lately.
And that voice continued to linger in my life, appearing on time in… every dream.
“…”
“Dear, today is Starfall Day!”
“Do you know? In Lumilan, Starfall Day is a particularly grand festival, just like the Spring Festival we once celebrated together in our hometown.”
“The girls of Lumilan return to the main city before this day and celebrate the arrival of Starfall Day with all their family and friends.”
“At night, many, many stars fall from the sky. There are ores that can be made into farming tools, magic stones that can be refined into magical elements, and all kinds of wondrous items. We pray and make wishes to the stars…”
“I made a wish to the stars, hoping they would let us meet again, ehehe… Am I being too willful?”
“Lumilan only has girls. If you came over here, you’d probably turn into a girl too. I wonder if you’d be willing…”
“…”
“I’m willing!”
“…”
…
On a sunny morning, I suddenly sat up to the sound of the alarm clock beside my bed going, “Ring ring ring ring ring.”
“…”
In a daze, I realized that tears had already gathered in the corners of my eyes.
Another dream like that…
I reached out with both hands and wiped away my tears, my heart filled with mixed emotions, before turning off the alarm clock.
Last night’s dream was not just a voice. I had even dreamed of her appearance.
She, whom I had not seen for years, was wearing a cute little dress and sitting on a swing beneath a sky full of stars, reaching out her hand toward me.
Just as I was about to rush over and take her hand, the dream ended.
Was it really because I had been too exhausted from rushing manuscripts lately?
I threw off the blanket and got out of bed, grabbed my phone to check the time, then walked toward the bathroom of my rented apartment.
As a web novelist, I didn’t need to get up early, but today was an exception because I needed to meet someone.
After a simple wash, I changed into casual clothes. Before leaving, I glanced at myself in the mirror and sighed at how quickly time passed.
I’ve already reached the age of an uncle…
Since she left, I had plunged headlong into writing and stopped caring about matters between men and women.
It wasn’t until a few days ago, when an old classmate found me through a middle school address book, that I suddenly realized I had unknowingly become what the media called an “older leftover bachelor.”
I walked out, hailed a taxi, and arrived at the morning tea restaurant my middle school classmate had mentioned at the appointed time.
I found two people already sitting there: a female classmate wearing professional attire, whose face still retained a somewhat familiar look from my memories, and… her daughter.
“Yo, you’re still about the same as I remember, except you’ve grown a little taller.”
When she saw me, my female classmate gestured toward the five- or six-year-old girl beside her.
“Say hello to uncle.”
The little girl timidly said to me, “Hello, uncle!”
“Ah, good, good, good.”
Because I rarely socialized and had lost contact with my old classmates, I could only respond awkwardly a couple of times before turning to my female classmate.
“The important matter you mentioned is…”
“I just heard about Xinxin a few days ago. We were desk mates in middle school. I don’t know if you still remember.”
The female classmate sitting across from me took a box out of her backpack, placed it on the table, and said in a comforting tone, “The dead cannot come back to life. Please accept my condolences.”
I carefully took the box.
“What is this?”
“I found it while sorting through some old things back in my hometown. Back in middle school, Xinxin really loved Go. One weekend, she brought this box of Go stones to my house to play, but forgot to take it when she left. That forgetfulness lasted…”
At this point, my female classmate paused.
“Xinxin had no family, just like you. I remember you both grew up in that village, relying on the kindness of many families, so I thought… this should be given to you. You two were the closest.”
“Mmm…“
I opened the Go box and gently wiped away the dust covering it.
Warm sunlight slanted through the window of the morning tea restaurant and fell on the edge of the Go box, illuminating the board and stones inside.
The box seemed to have received little care over the years. The white and black stones were mixed together, resembling the broken walls and ruins left behind after soldiers died on a battlefield.
I tried to pick up a white stone and say something, but nothing came out.
In the end, I simply put it back gently and closed the box again.
“Thank you.”
I stood up and bowed deeply to the female classmate before me, forcing down the sorrow in my heart.
“Thank you for still remembering her…”
However, before I could finish speaking, I suddenly felt the world spinning.
My legs, which rarely got any exercise, went weak, and I fell from the chair as my consciousness began to blur.
“Are you okay? Hey? Wake up…”
I wanted to reach out and push myself up, but my hands had no strength, just like the rest of my body.
“Hurry… call 120…”
“No breathing…”
“Don’t scare me, old classmate. Was it because you got too excited? It’s all my fault. I… I…”
“Hello, this is the 120 command center. How can I help you…”
In the instant before I lost consciousness, a light seemed to shine before my eyes, and that familiar voice sounded in my ears once again.
“Come, let me take you home.”
Within the light, I saw a small star-shaped flower quietly blooming on the lawn.
“…”
“Paratheresia, I hope you can all find your own long-cherished wishes…”
“…”
…