I, Li Mingshan, have a beautiful and excellent streamer girlfriend who is currently broadcasting on the major platform “Ali.”
Two months ago, she was still paying the rent for the unemployed me; I have no reason not to love her.
But what am I doing now?
In the silence of the night, on the bed of this broken apartment, before me is a girl’s snowy white body.
The touch is as delicate as a filled jelly, and the warmth she transmits soothes my soul.
She is my rival, Su Xixia.
Up close, she has an angelic face and a hot body.
“How does it feel? Is it the same as before? Hahaha, your face looks so funny.”
A flush colored her face, and her hair, scattered across the pillow, trembled, with every strand plucking at my heartstrings.
Yet, her smile held a teasing undertone.
Ever since she used a family heirloom to help me pay the rent, she had been staying with me under the pretext of having no money for her own place.
Every day after that, she found ways to initiate physical contact:
She would always hug me while wearing only a towel after bathing;
She would always suddenly lick the corner of my mouth while we were eating;
In the middle of the night, she would always sneak onto the floor bed where I slept and squeeze into the covers.
This time, I finally couldn’t hold back.
I did something wrong to her, who had proactively presented herself to me.
It was only then that I realized for someone separated from his girlfriend for a long time, her temptation was impossible to resist.
‘I should have kicked her out earlier.’
Thinking that way, I knew in my heart that I absolutely couldn’t bring myself to drive away a girl who had nothing and had helped me so much.
My chest felt like a heavy weight was pressing on it.
My heavy breathing couldn’t relieve my headache, and my exhausted body slowly collapsed, lying on my side next to her.
“See how well you can endure? In the end, didn’t I take you down anyway? You might as well give up early, it would have relieved your stress sooner.”
She played with my damp hair, wiping away the sweat.
“This doesn’t mean I’ve given up,” I squeezed out a sentence, turning my face to pretend to sleep.
In my mind, I apologized to my girlfriend, An Zhi, countless times, secretly glancing at the photo of us hanging by the clothes rack.
The more I looked, the heavier the guilt and debt in my heart grew.
Finally, I decided to close my eyes.
“Tomorrow morning, I’ll go to the talent market again to take a look.”
“Going again?”
She breathed against my neck.
“I can’t be stubborn about liberal arts-related jobs anymore. I’ll find some manual labor first. I can’t let you go hungry.”
“Manual labor!? Then why did you bother with college…”
I didn’t pay her any attention.
She hadn’t worked since graduation and had stayed in her hometown, so she didn’t understand the job requirements in the city.
Besides, times had changed.
However, because of her arrival, I decided to lower my pride and accept physical work.
Once I earned money, I could redeem her family heirloom from the landlord.
‘Tomorrow, I will definitely find a job, any job will do—’
As I thought, my consciousness gradually blurred.
***
The next morning, when I woke up, Su Xixia was nowhere to be seen in the room.
Seeing the steaming breakfast on the table, I moved my slightly aching body and ate the fried egg and flour pancake she had prepared.
Every time I ate halfway, I would always remember the time in our hometown.
Those were extremely oppressive days.
Both of my parents were disabled and couldn’t farm, so the family could only survive on a minimum subsistence allowance.
For this reason, I studied desperately and finally got into the first-tier Sucheng University.
I was a standard “small-town test-taker.”
Only I understood the sweat and pain involved.
Back then, Su Xixia also made this kind of pancake for me—
Once during lunch break, she held a crumpled pancake in her hand, followed by a string of giggling girls.
“Hey, nerd! You’ve studied yourself stupid, haven’t you? You haven’t eaten lunch yet, right? I made this pancake for you myself. Come! Eat it, eat it now!”
I buried my head in thought, not wanting to deal with her.
“What do you mean!? Are you not giving me face? If those boys come back, you won’t have such an easy time!”
I looked up in silence, knowing in my heart that Su Xixia wouldn’t give up.
‘Instead of enduring it, it was better to just take it to make things end faster.’
“Be good, watch me feed you myself—”
Then, that dry pancake was forced into my mouth.
For a moment, my saliva couldn’t keep up, and even breathing became difficult.
“Mmph, cough! Cough, ugh!”
“Don’t you dare spit it out! Or else you’ll be in for it! Do you hear me!”
She glared at me, urging me to chew desperately, and then pointed at my face while laughing loudly.
“Haha! Look, doesn’t his face look like a field mouse? A four-eyed one at that! He’s eating the food I gave him like it’s something precious!”
The classroom was instantly filled with the laughter of the girls mocking me alone.
I was already used to it and chewed faster, suddenly feeling that the taste was a bit strange.
“Oh? You noticed!? There’s my exclusive secret recipe inside. As for the specifics, well, I can only say it’s a part of my body… Do you want to guess? Hahaha.”
“Hahahaha!!”
‘It was so noisy.’
The laughter continued; it seemed it wouldn’t stop until the afternoon classes started.
A wave of nausea surged in my stomach.
I didn’t dare think about what she had added and simply forced myself to keep chewing.
Fortunately, I only tasted a thick sweetness, a natural sweetness like beans.
Shortly after, the school bell rang, and the boys returned to the classroom dejectedly.
A few of them glared at me fiercely, as if I were the cause of their regrets.
Thinking of this, even though I had already graduated from university, a chill still ran through my body.
I quickly finished the pancake and prepared to head out.
While washing up, I suddenly noticed a small bag of red beans by the sink.
‘So what she put in back then… was it really just red beans?’
***
At night, I dragged my exhausted body back to the apartment.
I had handed out nearly 100 resumes I took with me, and my body felt surprisingly light.
“You’re back!”
Su Xixia had returned at some unknown time; she was currently stirring some reddish flour.
“Xixia, the resumes have all been handed out. As expected, having some sugar in the morning really keeps my spirits up all day.”
“…Right, right! This is a recipe I’ve adjusted for many years. So you like it…”
Her face turned red for no reason, matching the color of the thick flour in the basin.
A trace of sweetness lingered in the air.
As for what else she had added besides red beans back then, there was no need for me to pursue it now.
I took out the instant noodles I had bought at a convenience store on the way and started cooking them next to her.
Even when we sat at the table eating, her face was still flushed.
It was hard for someone with pale skin like hers to hide her emotions.
“What’s wrong?”
I asked.
“…I even went to look for a job for you today! Yes, I have something to say. Look at this newspaper; the last column has a job that’s perfect for you. You meet the requirements, too. Send a resume and try it!”
She took a crumpled piece of newspaper from her pants pocket and pointed at the recruitment section at the end, one of which was circled in red pen.
‘Is there a pen in the house that can draw such a thick line? And I didn’t subscribe to any newspapers; did she suddenly become interested in reading them?’
I thought to myself as I stared at the information.
[Recruiting one copywriter for the PR department. Requirements: Bachelor’s degree from a 211 university, liberal arts major, one year of work experience, preference for those with relevant achievements on campus. Contact information…]
No matter which requirement it was, I met them all.
It was indeed an ideal position to apply for.
A sense of excitement instantly overshadowed my suspicion, and I picked up the paper to look closer.
Although there was a high probability my resume would be rejected, it was worth a try!
“Thanks,” I said.
“Send it quickly! What is this email address? Anyway, hurry up and send it, I’m going to wash the dishes! Also, you must give me a reward tonight!”
For some reason, she was still acting a bit strange.
‘Was it joy? Could she be happy for me?’
With a pleasant mood, I sent my resume to that email address.
‘If there was no reply by tomorrow, I would go for the interview for that warehouse porter position. No, a reply is unlikely; stay calm.’
That night, no matter how hard Su Xixia tried to tempt me, I had no heart to respond.
With an anxious heart, I didn’t fall asleep until the middle of the night.