In the seventh year of the Yanxi era, also known as 164 CE, in the city of Luoyang—
Luoyang was formerly written as Luòyáng with a different character.
During the pre-Qin era, the written language varied greatly among states, and even the character for “Luo” had many forms, one of which was “Luo.”
After the Qin dynasty unified the script, “Luo” became the standardized form, which the Western Han continued to use.
Hence, throughout the Western Han, the capital was known as Luoyang.
However, after the founding of the Eastern Han, the doctrine of the Five Virtues became popular.
The Han dynasty aligned with the element of fire, and to prevent the character Luo—associated with water—from symbolically extinguishing the dynasty’s “fire,” Emperor Guangwu Liu Xiu resurrected the archaic character Luo from the archives and renamed the capital Luoyang.
At this time, the emperor on the throne was neither the infamous Emperor Ling nor Emperor Xian, but their uncle—Emperor Huan of Han, Liu Zhi.
Cao Song was already in his thirties.
His father, Cao Teng, a powerful eunuch and holder of the title Marquis of Feiting, had passed away recently.
With his father’s death, Cao Song no longer had a strong patron to support his career.
However, even before Cao Teng’s death, Cao Song had already established himself.
Now, in his early thirties, he held the position of Inspector of the Capital Commandery, a role akin to chief prosecutor and regional commander around Luoyang.
His rank was equivalent to that of a high official, earning a salary of 2,000 bushels, and he commanded a private force of 1,200 armed slaves.
But today, there was no trace of his usual authority within the Cao residence.
Instead, Cao Song was anxiously pacing back and forth outside a room.
His wife, Lady Ding, was in labor.
Like most husbands across the land, Cao Song couldn’t stay calm while his wife was giving birth.
Even though he already had several children, the arrival of a new life still stirred hopeful anticipation in his heart.
After the time it takes to burn one or two sticks of incense, the sounds from the birthing room finally quieted.
A maid came running out with a bright smile.
“Lord Marquis!” she called out.
Cao Song had inherited the title Marquis of Feiting from his father, so the servants naturally addressed him as such.
“Madam has delivered! It’s a girl!”
“Is that so?”
Cao Song already had three sons—one legitimate and two born to concubines—so he was not concerned about the baby’s gender.
Smiling, he asked, “May I go in and see her now?”
“Of course.”
“Good.”
Cao Song stepped quickly into the room.
Inside, a baby girl was being cradled in the arms of the midwife, blinking in confusion.
‘Who am I?’
‘Where am I?’
‘What am I doing here?’
‘Wasn’t I just tweaking code in some algorithm? How did everything change in the blink of an eye?’
While the baby girl was still lost in confusion, Cao Song entered the room, beaming with joy.
He gently took the baby from the midwife and cradled her in his arms.
Looking up at this bearded man dressed like an ancient noble, the baby’s eyes filled with even more confusion.
Cao Song gazed down at the infant with satisfaction, but after a few moments, his expression shifted.
He turned to the midwife with a puzzled look.
“Midwife!”
“Yes, my lord!” she quickly bowed low.
“I remember when Bin’er and Yu’er were born, their eyes were closed. Why is this one staring wide open?” he asked.
“I’ll admit I don’t know much about these things, but tell me—have you seen this before in other births?”
“I… I have never seen such a thing,” she stammered.
“And what about babies who are silent and don’t cry? Have you seen those?”
“Yes, my lord, I have. But…”
“But what?”
“But… most of those children did not survive.”
“What!?”
Cao Song’s eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in fury.
He glared at the midwife, furious at her ominous words.
‘How dare you curse my daughter to die young!?’
Meanwhile, the baby in Cao Song’s arms couldn’t understand a word of what these ancient people were saying, but little by little, she began to realize something.
She had transmigrated into a baby.
Before birth, babies obtain oxygen through their mother.
But once born, they must breathe on their own.
To get oxygen into the lungs, newborns typically cry right after birth.
If they don’t cry, nurses even slap them to make sure the lungs open up properly.
But from the moment she was born until now, she hadn’t cried at all!
No wonder she felt like she couldn’t breathe!
She was going to die!
Panicked, the baby tried to cry to activate her lungs, desperate not to become the transmigrator with the shortest post-arrival lifespan in history.
But she quickly discovered—she couldn’t do it.
After all, she had been a grown man in her previous life.
‘How could she possibly cry on command?’
‘Damn it! Hey, the man holding me who’s probably my father—hit me! Quick, smack me! Make me cry!’
She had never imagined there would come a day when she’d be begging someone to slap her—just to survive.
Unfortunately, a baby’s vocal cords aren’t fully developed.
So even though she had a mind full of thoughts, all her mouth could manage was a weak, “Ah… ah…”
Cao Song, just about ready to have the midwife beaten for her ominous words, was stopped by the baby’s tiny voice.
He turned back to look at the infant in his arms, frowning in confusion.
“What’s going on?” he asked the midwife.
“Is the young master perhaps trying to cry?” the midwife guessed.
“Then why isn’t she crying?”
“…”
This time, the question left the midwife speechless.
She had never encountered such a situation before.
Cautiously, she said, “Would the Lord consider lightly smacking the young master? It might make her cry.”
“Would that really work?”
“…”
The midwife lowered her head again in silence.
‘Who could say for sure?’
But just then, the baby girl started nodding vigorously.
‘Hit me! Hurry and hit me! Just hit me already!’
Although she couldn’t fully understand their conversation, she clearly recognized the word “hit.”
Cao Song noticed the baby’s constant nodding and looked astonished.
He turned to the midwife and asked, “Have you ever seen anything like this before?”
“Never.”
“Is she… asking me to hit her?”
“Possibly.”
“Then I’ll do it?”
“Please, my lord, as you wish.”
The midwife nodded, treating this as a desperate last resort.
After all, if the baby didn’t cry today, she was likely to die young.
Either way, the midwife would be blamed by Lord Cao.
Better to try something—maybe this could save the child.
If it worked, everyone would be happy.
If not, well, the result would be the same.
She would be in trouble regardless.
Cao Song turned the baby over in his arms and gave her two quick smacks on her swaddled bottom.
The infant’s body was incredibly delicate.
Even through the cloth, she still felt the pain from those two smacks and immediately burst into tears.
“Waaah! Waaah!”
Cao Song laughed heartily, pleased.
“She’s crying! She’s crying!”
The midwife quickly offered her congratulations while secretly celebrating for herself.
“Congratulations, my lord! The young master is safe and well now…”
‘And so am I.’
No need to worry about being beaten to death by this notorious lord.
After all, this Lord Cao—Cao Commandant—wasn’t exactly known for his kindness among the people.
While Cao Song rejoiced, his wife, Lady Ding, weakly called out to him.
“Husband…”
“What is it, dear?”
Cao Song rushed to her bedside.
Lady Ding said, “Give our child a name.”
“A name?”
Cao Song paused in thought, recalling the strange behavior the baby had shown after being born.
Then he remembered the dream he’d had the previous night.
In that dream, a majestic divine object had fallen into his wife’s womb.
And the next day—today—the baby was born.
He didn’t understand what the thing called an “OGAS supercomputer” was, but it clearly wasn’t ordinary.
‘Could this child be extraordinary?’
The thought crossed Cao Song’s mind.
He finally smiled and teased the baby in his arms.
“I’ve got it. Her name will be Cao Cao, styled Mengde. What do you think?”
“Mengde? Husband, did you have a dream last night or something?”
“I did…”
***
Cao Song sent everyone else out of the room, then mysteriously described the dream to Lady Ding in secret.
Meanwhile, the baby in his arms looked visibly excited.
‘Cao Cao! Style name Mengde! I’ve become the Boss Cao?! No wonder I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying. It was Classical Chinese!’
‘As everyone knows, humans originally came from Africa, so language must have started with a single pronunciation. Only later did it evolve differently across regions. Chinese was no exception.’
‘In early Chinese, words had many syllables—it was an agglutinative language. Before humans developed real language, they probably just made loud noises. So in the early stages, language was mostly variations in tone and shouting.’
‘From there it evolved into agglutinative, then inflectional languages. Isolating languages like modern Chinese came much later.’
‘So, at this time, Chinese is probably still in its inflectional stage. It even sounds a bit like English—another inflectional language.’
‘Anyway, the next goal after transmigrating is clear: learn Classical Chinese!’
‘And the ultimate goal…’
‘Now that I’ve become Prime Minister Cao, of course I must seize every wife in the land and usurp the Han dynasty to found my own empire!’
Infants can’t see their lower bodies.
Their spines aren’t developed enough.
Ever since transmigrating, Miss Cao Mengde couldn’t bend at the waist for an entire year.
For the first two months, she could only stare blankly straight ahead.
From the third month, she could slightly turn her head side to side.
By the ninth month, she could lower her head a little to see her feet.
Only after turning one could she move her waist freely.
Miss Cao Mengde eagerly looked down at her lower body.
Then she discovered something utterly despairing.
She—
Cao Mengde—
Was a girl!
‘This isn’t history!’
“Wait—!”
The girl suddenly remembered something from the day she was born.
Though she hadn’t understood what her father said back then, after a year she had learned enough Eastern Han Chinese to understand it clearly upon reflection.
Apparently, her father had told her mother that he had a strange dream the night before she was born.
So that’s why my style name is Mengde!
‘I’m such an idiot… Really…’
***
After a whole year, Miss Cao Mengde finally understood the truth, and now she looked like she deeply regretted everything.
‘I only knew that the historical Cao Mengde was a man. But I didn’t know that Mengde could also be the style name of a girl named Cao.’
‘Forget about taking other men’s wives and founding a dynasty…’
‘The real problem now is figuring out how to grow up and not get married off to someone else as their wife…’
The translations reallt fked with the written characters huh
‘Luoyang was formerly written as Luoyang’
Thanks for pointing that out. I’ve fixed the line, please let me know if there’s anything else.