Blushing, I glanced around from time to time to see if anyone was passing by.
Only after making sure the space was private enough did I lower my voice and start explaining—though my words still came out all jumbled.
Surprisingly, the manager managed to make sense of my messy speech and logic.
“Ohhh~ I see.”
She pondered quietly over my expression. Feeling shy, I had no choice but to look away and fix my gaze on the floor.
My eyes were like a lake struck by stones, rippling with a dizzying shimmer.
Ah… how much I hated moments of waiting like this.
Even though I knew people need time to think, the mix of impatience and fear spread uncontrollably from my chest.
Like a mandrake flower wrapping around my heart, its sharp thorns piercing deep, slowly but steadily injecting a deadly poison.
I clenched my teeth and focused on stopping my tail from trembling, but my cat ears still drooped helplessly.
“I understand…”
She nodded. Upon hearing this, I suddenly raised my head to see the manager thoughtfully nodding.
“The key issue isn’t how perfect your little boyfriend is. The way he behaves or treats others isn’t that important—”
The manager stopped mid-sentence, biting back her words because another staff member happened to walk by.
During that brief moment, my brain completely froze.
I stared fixedly at the unfamiliar employee and only lowered my voice again after confirming he had walked away.
“Well… he’s not my boyfriend. We just used to be close when we were kids. I only want to be good friends with him again. I’m not thinking about any weird stuff.”
Because the manager’s wording was too strong, I momentarily missed her point and focused on denying what she implied.
“Hehe, sorry. Forgot you’re a shy girl. Then just think of him as your childhood friend.”
The manager waved her hand with a smile, but her tone was still serious.
I pressed my lips together and lowered my eyes, reluctantly accepting the idea that Gu Fan was my childhood friend.
After all, I’m a girl now, so strictly speaking, he really is my childhood friend.
“In any case, if you want to truly mend the relationship between you two, you need to change yourself. You can’t just sit and fantasize about that little boy… your childhood friend… coming to you on his own.”
Her earnest words shattered the psychological defenses I’d carefully built.
She was right. Since I transmigrated here, all my thoughts and actions were passively trying to lure Gu Fan to approach me.
At the core, I was just cowardly avoiding responsibility.
It was as if just by not taking the initiative, I could remain undefeated —
It wasn’t that Gu Fan didn’t want to reach out to me, but that I hadn’t tried approaching him and been rejected.
Or rather… I was somewhat afraid of the consequences of being rejected by Gu Fan, because if that happened, I might never muster the courage to look him in the eye or talk to him again.
“Um, th-thank you, Manager. I know what I need to do now.”
After my sudden realization, I was immensely grateful to the experienced manager.
I bowed deeply, adjusted my mindset, and left the break room.
Though still hesitant and clumsy in my actions, I firmly believed that one day I would walk calmly by Gu Fan’s side.
I worked a full day today — so tired.
Working at the maid cat café is a necessary form of training, I decided.
Besides, I have to work sooner or later.
If I can earn some money here at the cat café first and save up, it’s a good plan.
* * * * *
After showering, I collapsed on the living room sofa, silently complaining about how troublesome it is for girls to shower, while rubbing the wetness from my hair.
Changing underwear and such had become routine by now, but long hair is really inconvenient everywhere.
My drifting thoughts were abruptly cut off by the sound of the front door.
Click.
The door hinges opened and closed. I stared blankly at the doorway, where a catgirl in a long beige trench coat stood holding a bag.
Her tail was hidden beneath the coat, and her gaze was cold as she looked at me.
At first, I was shocked by my mother’s sudden return.
Then I noticed that she, too, was now a catgirl.
After a brief moment of hesitation, by the time she put down her bag and hung the trench coat on the rack, I had already missed the chance to call out to her.
My mother came home after a long absence, but I didn’t know how to communicate with her, so I silently watched her.
If I had known earlier, I would have hidden in my room pretending to be asleep, locking the door tight.
Wearing a fitted tank top underneath, my mother moved back and forth between the living room and bedroom.
Her tail lay calmly coiled around her waist as she silently went about her business.
Sitting on the sofa, I felt like I didn’t belong in this space.
I regretted it so much… I should have just used the hairdryer in my room.
Interacting with strangers is actually easier than this, at least I wouldn’t be so restless, staring anxiously as my mother paced back and forth.
With no other choice, I forced a cold expression on my face to keep my feelings from showing.
My mother finished her business quickly, putting a stack of documents into her bag.
Finally, she formally fixed her gaze on me.
“Don’t get involved with other boys.”
The words came abruptly, strangely out of place — my mother said this to me.
Although since I was little she always told me not to make friends with other classmates, this was the first time she had explicitly warned me like this.
I lowered my head, feeling confused and dazed. I neither agreed nor argued back; I just pretended not to hear.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched my mother. She glanced at my bedroom, which hadn’t been cleaned for a long time, then at the clock above the TV, covered with a dust cloth.
Finally, she picked up her bag and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Phew — at last, I could breathe a little easier.
The pressure my mother exerted on me was overwhelming. Every time I talked to her, I was filled with anxiety.
Though she never resorted to physical punishment, just her barely perceptible gaze and calm, plain attitude made my heart feel cold and heavy.
But… rather than fantasizing about improving my relationship with my mother, I should try repairing things with Gu Fan instead.
After all, my relationship with Gu Fan hasn’t sunk to the awkward depths of what I have with my mother.
* * * * *
The long-awaited Monday arrived quickly.
During the break from work, I just sat in my room daydreaming. When I got hungry, I’d randomly order takeout and ask them to leave it at the door. If I was in a good mood, I might even cook something myself.
My cooking skills aren’t great, so usually, after eating, my mood worsened. That’s why I hardly ever cooked.
Sitting in class, I rested my head on the desk as usual, half asleep, half awake, listening to the teacher’s lecture.
It wasn’t that I hated studying — it’s just hard to get interested in subjects I’d already learned.
Besides, I wanted to use my mental energy on more important things right now.
Secretly, I turned on my phone from the drawer. The screen showed Gu Fan’s contact page.
Just one press of the ‘call’ button, and I could ask him out.
Inside, I debated with myself like a pancake flipped back and forth.
The more I prepared myself mentally, the harder it became to take that first step.
It was just too heavy.