“I just wanted to ask, Gu Fan… how do we get to that market where we’re buying New Year’s goods tomorrow?”
Such a childish excuse. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but it was obvious I was dodging around, just saying things to cover myself.
Even as I said it, I felt so embarrassed that my stomach ached. I crouched down and hugged my knees, as if Gu Fan were half-squatting in front of me right now, staring at my clumsy stupidity with a faint, teasing smile.
Sure enough, a light chuckle came from the other end of the phone. I knew perfectly well he was laughing at me, but I couldn’t help savoring the sound of Gu Fan’s laughter over and over again.
Mmm… so I’m really a voice-fetish, huh? Since when did I start caring so much about Gu Fan’s voice?
As I let my thoughts wander in nonsense, Gu Fan answered leisurely:
“If Zhi Nian doesn’t know the way, then tomorrow I’ll just bring my motorbike and give you a ride.”
“Wouldn’t that trouble you too much?”
Was this… an unexpected blessing? Crouching there on the floor, I excitedly tiptoed in place. A draft slipped under the yukata where it didn’t quite cover me, leaving a hollow, tingling sensation that made my whole body itch.
If I honestly voiced what I was feeling right now, I’d probably be shouting my love to Gu Fan straight through the phone.
If we were already husband and wife—or even just officially dating—I really might have done something so bold.
But our relationship right now… it’s a little ambiguous. I can’t even tell if the bond between us as childhood sweethearts has already crossed the line of friendship and is rushing headlong toward something dangerously more.
The safest choice, though, is still to maintain a girl’s modesty—shy and reserved, keeping my true feelings tucked away.
I hid my true feelings away.
According to what people online say, a girl should try to “keep a boy guessing,” not give him everything at once.
They advise against offering your whole self too early to someone you like, saying you might regret it if you break up later.
But when I put myself in their shoes and imagine that person being Gu Fan, I suddenly feel they might not be right at all.
At the very least, I’d be willing to entrust everything to him without regret. Even if one day he were to openly declare he didn’t like me, I would still quietly watch over him from the shadows.
I had even thought before—if Gu Fan rejected me, I’d immediately commit suicide. At one point, that idea even became the source of my reckless courage.
But as time went on and our relationship slowly developed, I realized Gu Fan might actually mean more to me than I had ever expected.
In fact, the true meaning of my life only appeared after I met him. I can no longer bear the thought of leaving Gu Fan.
If I want to keep looking at him for a long, long time, I must be cautious. I can act ambiguous, even flirt a little, but I mustn’t force Gu Fan to make a decision right away—whether to officially be my boyfriend or to marry me or anything like that.
If Gu Fan felt especially conflicted about our relationship, I’d be willing to stay in this ambiguous state forever. As long as I can keep him by my side, I’d be satisfied.
“Driving you there is hardly any trouble.”
“Mm.”
Excuse or not, as long as Gu Fan gave me a firm promise, warmth like a hazy mist would surge up inside me, filling my heart completely.
I rubbed my thighs, still damp with beads of water, the skin smooth to the touch. But because I’d been crouching by the bathroom door this whole time, the draft had chilled my skin, and when my legs pressed together, the cold sensation climbed up my throat.
“Ah-choo~”
I sneezed…
Because it happened so suddenly, I didn’t have time to move the phone away from my ear. Gu Fan must have heard it loud and clear, right?
Ugh, how annoying—why did I have to get chilled at this exact moment?
Shivering, I pulled the collar of my bathrobe tighter.
Hmm… wait a second. Looking at it another way, isn’t this actually the perfect chance to make Gu Fan worry about me?
The gloomy emotions that had been hanging over me like dark clouds cracked open a little, letting golden sunlight stream in.
Even my body’s senses felt confused by this rush of joy—suddenly the chill on my skin seemed to turn warm.
“Zhi Nian? Are you catching a cold?”
“Maybe a little… I don’t know. I just finished taking a bath and haven’t had time to change clothes yet.”
To make Gu Fan worry more about me, I deliberately slowed my tone. Plus, my voice was already a little hoarse after sneezing. If he really cares about me, he’ll definitely be anxious now, right?
I couldn’t help imagining it—Gu Fan urging me to stay warm, and even though it’s already late at night, he’d drive over to my place with cold medicine, heating pads, or whatever else, just to take care of me.
And if possible… climbing into bed to hold me close, warming me with his body—that would be the perfect choice, wouldn’t it? Hehehe…
Smiling foolishly to myself in silence, I stood up and untied the sash of my bathrobe. Should I try making myself even colder?
If I really catch a chill, maybe Gu Fan will cancel tomorrow’s New Year’s shopping plans and come take care of me instead?
Sniffling a little, I looked at myself in the mirror. My nose tip was red, and the corners of my eyes glistened with tiny tears from sneezing. Wasn’t this body’s reaction a bit too exaggerated…
“You haven’t changed clothes yet? How can you be so careless in the middle of winter? Do you have a heater at home? Turn it on first, and wipe off the water properly.”
Gu Fan’s voice wasn’t as anxious as I had imagined. He was always like this—no matter what happened, even if his words sounded harsh or urgent, his expression would remain calm as still water, or he would replace his emotions with a smile, making it impossible to guess what he was really thinking.
If only Gu Fan were standing right in front of me saying those words. Even if I couldn’t tell the subtle changes in his voice or expressions, I knew his body well.
When Gu Fan was deep in thought, his fingers would knead or fiddle with something. When he was excited, his breathing would grow heavier, and his Adam’s apple would roll unconsciously once or twice.
As for whether something down there would get a little bulging… mm, I don’t know. I’m a proper girl, I wouldn’t pay attention to things like that.
Pushing away all the messy thoughts, I gave a soft nasal “Mm” as a reply.
Then I obediently tied my bathrobe properly, padded barefoot back to my room, and found the little heater Gu Fan had given me. Turning it to its highest setting, I crouched down beside it.
“Beep, beep, beep—”
The noise was a bit loud, but just enough for Gu Fan to hear. That should reassure him a little, right?
Although I really wanted to go against Gu Fan’s words and deliberately catch a cold, when I thought of the helpless look in his eyes afterward, and the smile he’d wear while taking care of me, I couldn’t help but wonder—would he secretly scold me as a fool?
After all, he had already reminded me to stay warm, and yet I still let myself freeze like this.
After weighing the pros and cons, I finally gave up on that extreme idea. Better to just be a well-behaved, trouble-free little catgirl. After all, even someone as gentle and perfect as Gu Fan couldn’t possibly—
Eternal patience is given to the mischievous kitten.