Chapter 137: A Moment of Weakness

“By the way, is it alright if you all don’t stop by the dormitory? I have some luggage left in my room, so I think I should head back for a moment…”

“Me too. I think carrying a suitcase to the Graduation Ceremony hall would be a bit cumbersome…”

“I-I also have to stop by the dormitory!”

While on the way to the carriage waiting area.

For the reasons mentioned above, Hailga, Vigdis, and Liolikin headed toward the dormitory.

On the other hand, Yor had his things in the Yeouiju, and Reysir Daudabina had stored his luggage in his Inventory, so there was no need for us to go.

“Karbaldr. Then should we go ahead, grab a carriage, and wait?”

And so, I ended up sitting face-to-face with Reysir in the stationary carriage.

This Protagonist of Another Novel did not leave me alone while waiting for the three who had gone to the dormitory to return.

“But you know, the fact that you’ve been denying that we’re friends until now, could it be…”

“Stop talking nonsense.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet?”

“You were planning to spout nonsense regarding that professor’s remarks earlier, were you not? Those comments have nothing to do with me; they are merely her personal opinion.”

“Really? It’s not because you’ve never had proper friends before, so you harbored fantasies and romantic notions about friendship?”

“……!”

I could have cleanly admitted and moved past the comment about whether I learned friendship from books, but I couldn’t do that this time.

Had the words ‘fantasy’ and ‘romance’ always been such shameful expressions?

“Mm-hmm. I see, so that’s what it was. I finally understand now.”

“N-No……! What are you convincing yourself of so arbitrarily?”

“Your face is bright red, and you’re just insisting it’s not true with your words?”

“It is because you are saying such absurd things that my face has heated up out of anger! It is not because I am embarrassed…!”

“Puhahaha!!”

As always, the Protagonist of Another Novel did not believe a word I said.

In fact, when I huffed and got angry, he burst into loud laughter as if he couldn’t stand how amusing my reaction was.

I couldn’t help but feel a surge of indignation at his behavior.

“Do not laugh!”

“Haha, ha…….”

“……?”

“……”

The man who had been laughing hysterically, even clutching his stomach, suddenly stopped, remaining motionless in a hunched-over posture.

Even though I had shouted at him to stop laughing.

Seeing a person who usually didn’t care what I said and would keep laughing suddenly change his attitude like that was beyond bewildering—it was almost scary.

“W-Why are you suddenly acting like this..?”

“Talking to you normally like this, I just can’t believe that something like that happened earlier…”

“Then shouldn’t you feel relieved and consider it a blessing that things have returned to normal? Why have you become so gloomy?”

“If I hadn’t been able to save you earlier, I wouldn’t even be able to dream of talking and laughing happily with you like this, right? Thinking about that, I suddenly felt like my heart was dropping….”

For a moment, I wondered if I should have just let him keep laughing.

But then I questioned whether ignoring the trauma and covering it up was really the better choice.

If I did that, he would only end up infinitely depressed, caught in the negative thoughts that would pop up unexpectedly like they were now.

‘Besides, Reysir is destined to lose his precious people several times in the future, isn’t he?’

It wasn’t that he would recover as time passed, but rather that his wounds would only increase as time went on.

I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t just leave Reysir like this.

If the last image of him recorded in my mind was like this, it was obvious it would weigh on my conscience for a long time.

“I believe it is perfectly natural to feel dizzy at the fact that you almost failed to prevent a companion’s death. I also understand the feeling of being anxious and worried about a companion’s safety.”

“…Huh?”

At the words thrown out of nowhere, the Protagonist of Another Novel raised his head with a bewildered expression.

I met his eyes and asked.

“However, for you to feel a sense of responsibility and blame yourself…. is somewhat questionable.”

“Questionable? What do you mean?”

“I know you are strong enough to easily defeat the monster that appeared today, as I saw it with my own eyes. But even so, are you not still a student who should be protected? Protecting students is strictly the duty of the professors. Therefore, the responsibility is not yours.”

“Then why did you try to save Hailga? You don’t have that duty either.”

Reysir’s brow furrowed, and his voice was sharp as he questioned me.

It was a reaction within the expected range.

“I simply stepped forward because I thought I could save her. It was not out of a sense of duty.”

After lightly countering Reysir’s words, I continued what I wanted to say.

“So, if I had died, that would have been merely the result of my own choice. If responsibility must be assigned to someone else, the targets should be the professors, not you.”

“That’s true. But……”

“Even if Hailga had died, it would have been nothing more than an unfortunate accident. There were so many voices worried about terrorism. It was purely by chance that I had just borrowed a bell-ringing bead from Yor so I could activate a Buff Skill at any time, just in case. If not for that coincidence, I wouldn’t have been able to save Hailga either. The appearance of the monster was too sudden.”

If you felt like the above lines were somewhat long-winded while reading them.

It is definitely not an illusion.

I added that excuse so that the Protagonist of Another Novel wouldn’t suspect that I knew about the Magicalization beforehand.

I thought about mentioning the Attempted Poisoning Incident to gloss over the ‘dagger hidden in my bosom’ in advance.

But I stopped because I thought too much TMI might actually arouse suspicion instead.

Even if I didn’t go out of my way to make excuses, he would probably jump to his own conclusions about this much.

“Still, I could have prepared. I experienced this anomaly ten years ago. I knew that after feeling suffocated and nauseous, the environment changes. And I knew that soon after, monsters would leap out from the shimmering space.”

“Do you think there is no problem in blaming someone who was injured and unable to even move for not saving others, and holding them accountable for their pain?”

“There’s no way there’s no problem.. but why are you suddenly saying that…?”

“Because that was your state. At that time, you were in a state where even breathing was difficult due to old mental scars. Asking such a person to take responsibility for failing to save someone is logically nonsensical.”

“……”

“In other words, it means you are not at fault for anything.”

“……”

Reysir looked at me with a strange expression—close to crying, yet no tears fell and no sadness could be felt.

With his lips tightly pressed together, silently for a long time.

Thus, the person who spoke next was also me.

“It is inevitable to feel frustration over failing to save a companion. But stop blaming yourself for things that couldn’t be helped. If you keep pushing yourself like that, you’ll burn out in no time.”

“Yeah… I’ll keep that in mind.”

Even if he answers like that, this Protagonist of Another Novel will likely try to hold himself responsible again when a similar situation arises.

Still, I hope he can lessen his guilt even a little by recalling this conversation.

That way, it might be slightly less painful.

“Karbaldr. Thanks for worrying about me.”

“Hmph! Do not misunderstand. I did not give you advice because I was worried about you. I merely pointed it out because seeing you act so pathetically was an eyesore.”

I replied that way and snapped my head away.

Since I had said everything I could say to him anyway.

There was no longer any need to look the Protagonist of Another Novel in the face. It was definitely not because of any emotional reason like being shy or embarrassed.

“You said it was an eyesore because you were worried, right? If you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t have even been interested in whether I was depressed or not.”

“You are phrasing things strangely. When did I ever have an interest in you?”

“You’ve been interested! From last semester until now! That’s why you keep pestering and teasing me, then apologizing. You react excessively and get embarrassed at every casual word I say, and you even went beyond worrying about my wallet. You considered my current feelings and past trauma, worrying that my future self would struggle!”

“You… are really….. phrasing things….. strangely….”

I was so flabbergasted that my voice trembled and the words wouldn’t come out properly.

I wondered how he could spout such nonsense so fluently.

…Even if I write this, I suppose no one will believe me.

“Ahahaha! Are you flustered because I hit the nail on the head?”

“I am not…!”

“Then, are you pretending to be flustered on purpose just to make me laugh?”

It was a load of nonsense so incredible it felt novel.

I was so dumbfounded that my mouth hung open, and I froze for a moment.

Because of that, I could only manage a rebuttal after a slight delay.

“What kind of nonsensical talk is that…?! That is even more untrue…! Why would I act like a clown for your sake?!”

“Because you consider me a friend and you like me a whole lot?”

“Do not spout your wishes as if they were the truth!”

“If it’s just my wishful thinking and nothing more than a delusion, then why did you go to the trouble of telling me exactly what I needed to hear?”

“That is because you keep making me pay attention to you…!”

“Puhut! Ahahahahahaha!!!”

At the words I spat out in indignation, the Protagonist of Another Novel laughed as if he were having a fit.

“P-Paying attention to you does not necessarily equate to worry…! Did I not tell you earlier? I simply felt frustrated watching you mope around…”

“I already countered that point.”

“……”

“Euhahaha! Karbaldr, your face looks like a very well-ripened persimmon right now! Can I try poking it?”

“As if that would be allowed?!”

“Why? Are you scared it might burst if I do?”

“……”

The Protagonist of Another Novel laughed so hard I wondered if he might lose his breath.

He finally stopped laughing only after those who had gone to the dormitory threw open the carriage door.

“Ah………… my stomach hurts from laughing so much…”

“Just what on earth happened while we were gone to pack our bags…?”

“I-I am also curious!”

“Yes, let us laugh together.”

At the sight of the Protagonist of Another Novel wiping away the tears that had formed from laughing too much.

Vigdis, Liolikin, and Hailga showed their curiosity.

Then, contrary to my expectation that he would say something unnecessary and make me even more embarrassed—

“Nothing special happened. Karbaldr just acted like his usual self, so I just laughed like I usually do.”

Surprisingly, he moved past it without saying much.

Instead, the problem was what his childhood friend muttered after climbing into the carriage.

“Ah, I guess the Tsundere Young Lord did something tsundere-like again today.”

Because of that nonchalant tone, my embarrassment and shame doubled.