The sky was a dull gray, and the sun was hiding in some corner of the clouds, not letting a single ray of light through.
Maybe the cold wave I had heard about was finally arriving after being delayed for so long.
My hands, exposed to the air, unconsciously tightened into fists to squeeze out a bit of warmth from my palms.
I walked out of the subway station in a daze and ducked into the alley that served as a shortcut.
The air here was drier than in the old city district, giving me the illusion that my cheeks were about to crack from the frost.
After hesitating in front of my door for a few minutes, I took out my key and opened it.
A wave of heat rushed over me.
Compared to the bitter cold outdoors, home was still better.
The *gurgling* sound of boiling water always managed to put my mind at ease.
“You’re back! Wait, let me get a towel!”
Su Xixia hurriedly ran toward the bathroom carrying an iron kettle filled with boiling water.
After the sound of running water, she ran back with a towel that was emitting white steam.
‘How many more secrets is she hiding?’
“Thanks. It’s really cold today.”
“The temperature drops as soon as night falls. This damn weather gets cold whenever it feels like it. Don’t move! I’ll wipe your face!”
The slightly hot towel had just touched my cheek when my brain seemed to be jolted awake by the sensation.
I finally felt clear-headed.
I felt like I had come back to life.
“Is it too hot? Bear with it even if it is. You’re not allowed to waste my kindness!”
Her gentle movements were completely at odds with the fierce look in her eyes.
I couldn’t tell what she actually thought of me.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Rather than running to the supervisor’s office to ask Mu You, it was better to come home and find Su Xixia.
If it wasn’t for her, I’d definitely understand the details of this “newspaper incident” better than I do now.
“About that… Huh?”
Just as I was about to get to the main point, she seemed to sense something and suddenly hugged me.
My body, which had been chilled by the cold wind, suddenly warmed up.
“Are you warmer now?”
“Yeah… But aren’t you cold? You’re just wearing a sweater and an undershirt.”
“You looked so cold, yet you still have the heart to worry about me!”
Of course I had to worry about her…
Until now, I had never expressed doubt regarding her abnormal behavior.
If I were to enjoy this kind of consideration while voicing all my suspicions, Xiao Ji would probably be the only one capable of doing so.
As usual, we ate the dinner she made that tasted like home, and then the two of us squeezed into the cramped bathroom to help scrub each other’s bodies.
We each did our own things to pass the time before crawling into the blankets together, snuggling close and doing things that would quickly make the bed warm…
I struggled to find the right moment to speak.
I always wanted to bring it up at the perfect time in the most perfect way, and the result was that I had delayed it until now.
Tonight, she curled up in my arms, saying my body was very warm.
The fierceness on her face had long since vanished.
“Xixia…”
“Hmm?”
Just as I was about to fall asleep, I finally spoke.
“What’s wrong? You suddenly called my name and then went silent. Are you teasing me?”
She immediately revealed her fierce side again, raising her head to glare at me from within the blankets.
“Well… I have a question to ask you.”
“You’re always like this. If you have something to say, just say it quickly. We just finished, so don’t make things unpleasant.”
“Why… why did you suddenly come from our hometown to find me here? Your family is considered wealthy, so you should have been living quite well back home.”
I still couldn’t get straight to the point…
It was better to start with things from even earlier to let her be mentally prepared.
“Didn’t I say it already? It’s because I like you and was thinking about you. How many more times do I have to say it? Are you doing this on purpose?”
Under the moonlight, her face flushed crimson.
‘You’re asking something you already know!’ she seemed to be saying.
At the most coincidental timing, she found me with a family heirloom and helped me solve my survival problems.
Even the occurrence of a miracle had a prerequisite — a so-called catalyst.
“I didn’t mean for emotional reasons… I mean, what made you decide to risk coming to the city to find me?”
“What do you mean? I told my family I was going to the city to find the village’s only university student. My family supported me. Didn’t they give me a lot of travel money? I just used the travel money to buy flour and other things. That’s how it was…”
‘This is it… Did the lies start from here?’
This was the very first suspicious point I had thought of.
“The fact that I got you pregnant. Does your family know about that?”
In order to resolve this doubt, I had to face the past once again.
My heart was still racing.
“Yeah, my family paid for the abortion… You didn’t have any money back then, and my family even scolded us for being indecent! You…”
Her tone turned gloomy.
She stopped halfway, likely afraid that if she continued following her emotions, she would expose something.
Exactly…
Given that, how could her family’s impression of me be any good?
I was a pauper who had caused their precious daughter, whom they planned to marry off to a rich man, to lose her chastity.
Between that incident and the reason she gave for coming to find me, one of them had to be a lie.
Looking at her reaction, the truth was already very clear.
“So, it’s impossible that your parents supported your coming here,” I said softly.
“But… but my parents… they thought well of your status as a university student, so they didn’t hold a grudge! I only came here so you could take responsibility, okay?!”
She really was a liar.
She would rather use another lie to cover up than tell the truth.
Was it because the truth would involve a series of subsequent lies?
“To make me take responsibility, you actively seduced me and took such good care of me. With your personality, you’d be more likely to use the past to threaten me… Would you really use such a gentle method?”
“Oh! I’ve changed… I was just afraid of making you remember the past and feeling scared.”
“Can I laugh?”
As long as there was an issue at the source, no matter how many words were used to cover the lie, it would only seem ridiculous.
The more she said, the more obvious the loopholes became.
“Li Mingshan, just believe me… I like you so much, you can do whatever you want to me—”
Her body kept pressing closer, rubbing against me as if acting spoiled.
If the hard way didn’t work, she was trying the soft way.
This seemed to be the first time I had seen her give in, using spoiled behavior to cover her tracks.
It was quite interesting.
If I were even slightly soft-hearted, I would have let her fool me.
… Her body was sticky; she was breaking out in a cold sweat.
No matter how well someone could disguise themselves, they couldn’t control their body’s physical reactions.
“There are many ways to make me believe you. You insist on using the method you’re worst at… How can it possibly work?”
“…”
“Su Xixia?”
“…”
Was she being silent on purpose this time?
No, her body was twitching.
In addition to the soft sensation against my chest, there was a warm, damp feeling.
She was crying.
This was the first time she had cried so directly.
” I didn’t mean to blame you. Calm down.”
When faced with a girl’s tears, I still couldn’t help but feel my heart soften.
I shifted to stroking her smooth, short hair, and the scent of her shampoo wafted out.
“… It’s not like that. My family didn’t agree to let me come. I ran away on my own. My mom and dad don’t know; I escaped… I escaped from that suffocating family. But! But…”
“Hmm?”
I hugged her as she continued to sob, encouraging her to say the rest.
“… The part about liking you is true. Truly… starting from the very first time I saw you being bullied… Because I pitied you, it slowly developed into wanting to help you for some reason… I wanted to drive away those people who were bullying you…”
“… Huh?”
I could easily see through the many lies she had told before, but this sentence had no flaws, whether in terms of her tone or her state of mind.
My hand stroking her hair stopped unconsciously.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, I couldn’t control those feelings. Because I didn’t know how to express my love when I was little, I ended up becoming the one who bullied you instead… At first, I just didn’t want those boys to get close to you, so I brought the girls over to help… I’m sorry…”
I never thought I would hear those three words, “I am sorry,” come out of her mouth.
Whether it was when I tricked her into coming to my house for revenge after graduation, or when I used her to vent after our reunion, she had been so stubborn that even while constantly explaining herself, she had never apologized.
Recalling the pain of being bullied in the past, this apology was meager, but it was much more effective than any seduction.
Perhaps, deep down, I had been waiting for this apology all along.
“I won’t forgive you for the bullying… and it’s impossible to forget it. But… things are better now.”
“Waaa — waaa — I’m sorry.”
Her crying was the only response.
If I kept pressing her, would it be a bit too cruel?
I felt even more deeply that getting her to confess all her lies would be a long and arduous process.
Should I let her off for today?
While I was thinking about this question, the sound of rhythmic breathing came from my arms.
*Hiss — hiss —*
‘She fell asleep even like this?!’
I had heard that after confessing long-hidden lies to the person involved, one would feel a sense of relief.
Maybe she had accumulated too much stress over a long period, and after releasing it all at once, she was exhausted enough to fall asleep.
‘I’d better not keep pushing her for now…’
I admit, my heart is still too soft.