Approaching the pet store, the outer wall near the corridor was brightly painted with various cute cats and dogs.
Next to the colorful drawings, the text introduction mentioned that the store also kept ornamental goldfish and guinea pigs, and even had an old alpaca that hadn’t been sold yet.
What is this? A zoo?
My curiosity was piqued. The only time I’d been to the largest zoo in the city was when I was very, very young, taken there for an entire day of fun by my enthusiastic Father.
I vaguely remembered being a happy toddler in kindergarten, bouncing around and rubbing my face against Father’s neck.
During the days of waiting, every morning and afternoon on the way to and from school was filled with eager anticipation. Passing by a small zoo on the way, I would peer far inside at unfamiliar little animals through the gate, growing more and more excited about the day Father would finally take me there.
But in the end… the day Father promised never came. That so-called trip to the zoo was nothing but an empty joke to coax me. He had completely forgotten.
Father chose to spend all his free vacation time with some pretty stranger, leaving only Mother and me at home to cling to impossible dreams that decayed and rotted, turning into fertilizer to nourish Father—the man perfect and successful in the eyes of everyone else.
The dark mood within me surged like a dam bursting open, the floodwaters rushing over my entire body, the filthy stench soaking deep into my skin.
I frowned in disgust, grabbed the adjustment straps hanging on both sides of my backpack, crossed them over my chest into a loose knot, then pulled tight.
The once slack backpack suddenly pressed against my back, forcing me to straighten my waist, while the straps tightened firmly around my lungs through the thick layer of fat in my chest, pushing out all the stagnant foul air with one breath.
I closed my eyes, spent three seconds clearing my mind, and when I opened them again, I had already transformed into someone like Mother—capable of coldly handling social interactions with ease.
Pushing open the pet store door, a complex animal musk mixed with the scent of incense placed by the wall hit me. Luckily, my tolerance was fairly high; after a slight frown, I slowly adapted to the not-too-unpleasant smell.
There weren’t many employees inside—only two—both busy feeding lunch to the chirping parrots and cats and dogs.
Above the entrance hung a wooden cage woven from twigs, where a majestic-looking macaw eyed me. When I returned its indifferent gaze, it suddenly squawked a few times, then spat out words.
“Cat Lady! Cat Lady! Cat Lady customer! Gawk gawk, pretty!”
“……”
My canine teeth ground together sharply. After I shot the macaw a fierce glare, it cowered back inside the cage, its head slowly tilting backward.
“Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me! Welcome to our store, gawk gawk!”
At first, the parrot expressed its fear with a blunt squawk, then remembered it was supposed to be the welcoming parrot and belatedly greeted me.
The two busy employees were disturbed by the noisy parrot at the door. One of them put down their work and walked over to me.
“Customer, do you need anything? Our store has a complete range of pet supplies—food for all kinds of pets.”
“I’ll just look around for now.”
I replied casually, stepping aside and moving lightly to avoid several little golden retrievers crawling and running on the floor. They had slipped out of their cage unnoticed by the staff, sniffing everywhere with their noses and dashing around my calves.
One pale golden puppy seemed to catch my scent and suddenly turned, leaping onto my leg as I passed by in my black stockings and small leather shoes.
“Yip yip hmm~”
The puppy’s cry was soft and sweet, its tail wagging like a propeller. The other puppies appeared to hear their companion’s call and ran over with their little black bead eyes wide open, pressing against my legs and yipping excitedly.
Surrounded by the little golden retrievers, their rapid wagging tails lightly hitting my calves or brushing against the cat tails hanging down, the faint pain made me frown.
Fortunately, the employees reacted quickly. While the puppies were distracted by me, they hurried over, grabbing one with each hand. They even squeezed two more into the little kennel, and in just two rounds, all the puppies were rounded up and back inside.
“Sorry, sorry for startling you, customer.”
“…It’s okay.”
I lightly shook my head, signaling I wasn’t bothered.
Though my enthusiasm for small animals wasn’t nearly as great as Gu Fan’s, I certainly didn’t hate being showered with affection by these adorable creatures.
Thankfully, the puppies hadn’t been naughty enough to dirty the stockings on my legs. The staff clearly took good care of them—they were all very clean, their fur fluffy and soft.
Looking at the little golden retriever still pawing at the glass display and wagging its tail at me, the other dogs in the cage who had finished eating seemed roused from their naps by the commotion.
They all pressed against the glass, tongues lolling out, as if trained in advance, striking flattering poses in hopes I would buy them and give them a happy home.
Seeing this, a sudden gloom and unease settled in my heart.
I kept feeling… I’m no different from them, am I?
Facing the dazzling array of dogs before me, their continuous barking stirred a physiological aversion in me. I quickly stepped aside toward the insect and reptile section, unwilling to stay any longer.
I didn’t understand why the dogs unsettled me so much. Maybe it was their pairs of eager eyes staring at me—just like how I look at Gu Fan.
No… I’m worse than them.
At least the dogs in the display actively tried to please customers. I was more like those few dogs curled up sleeping lazily in the corners—just quietly staying put, waiting for the mechanical appearance of humans to fabricate all sorts of so-called virtues and choose them.
This absurd feeling, as if looking in a mirror, filled me with a shame like being forced to perform in a circus. Though no one was watching me, the anger swelling inside made me leave the dog area in the pathetic posture of a stray.
I was afraid that if I stayed any longer, I’d be overcome with an undeserved pity for them—just like pitying myself… How humiliating.
Clutching the hem of my skirt tightly, I suppressed the tears mysteriously welling at the corner of my eyes.
I quickly wiped them away and grabbed my own tail, rubbing it hard.
Using the sharp sting of this sensation, I pulled myself out of self-pity.