“So.”
I spat out just one sentence, my face twisted in utter disgust.
“What’s your point?”
The killer’s pathetic life story? I wasn’t interested.
Besides, his story boiled down to him going mad with an inferiority complex over his own family matters and murdering an innocent person.
Far from sympathizing, I just found it revolting.
What was even more sickening was the guy’s gaslighting.
“What does it matter what Rosie McDowell or the Proctor said?”
Even if they were steeped in classism and spoke ill of others, did that constitute aiding a murder?
Were you planning to claim that explaining weeds to a student was the crime of instigating a murder?
“The devil whispered in a human voice? Don’t make me laugh. You’re the one who twisted ordinary words into the devil’s tongue. Why are you trying to find the devil inside you somewhere else?”
The responsibility for a murder lay solely with the murderer himself. Yet, he was endlessly trying to evade that responsibility.
“Hey. I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious, but just how are you interpreting your story to reach the conclusion that the victim committed suicide?”
I asked in a flippant tone. It wasn’t to provoke him; I truly couldn’t understand.
“You said earlier that I’d be able to accept it once I heard your side? But all I heard was a story about a twisted, late-pubescent criminal killing an innocent person.”
“You still don’t get it? Allen Hessington could have easily avoided that death!”
He spoke as he spread his palms wide, and I quickly closed my eyes.
‘Ugh, disgusting.’
I didn’t particularly want to see something so repulsive.
The man babbled on in a voice full of intoxication, seemingly unaware of even my contempt.
“What would have happened if I did the same thing to McDowell or Syle? Would they have died? No! Not a chance! If he were a student who belonged in this academy, he wouldn’t have died! There would have been no need for his hands to get dirty from using a quill, and he wouldn’t have vulgarly spat on his finger to turn the pages!”
“So? What’s your point? That Allen died because he was born of low status?”
“He died because he didn’t know his place. If he had known his place and hadn’t dared to enroll in this school, or if he hadn’t dared to think of using a quill given his status, he could have kept that measly life of his!”
I was speechless.
“Oh, is that so?”
At this point, I think I understood roughly why he committed the murder.
“So, were you so insanely jealous of Allen, who didn’t know his place? Were you so unable to stand yourself for knowing your place so well?”
“…What?”
I might not be great at deduction, but I had an eye for people.
“No. As I was listening to your story earlier, I kept thinking it was strange. That you were identifying yourself with the victim to an excessive degree.”
Of course, I had never seen the victim, Allen Hessington, while he was alive, but no one had told me that the victim and the perpetrator resembled each other. Rather, they said they were very different people.
Yet, only the murderer emphasized the commonalities between himself and the victim.
Lowly bloodline, enrolling in the military academy, possessing great talent, a foul personality, being ambitious and constantly trying to climb up. Aiming for the top of the military academy, and so on.
As if the only difference between the two was whether or not they knew their place.
“Based on what you’re saying, it seems you viewed that boy as your mirror image.”
Another version of himself that he could have been, but failed to become. Burr saw Allen in that way.
If he broke the mirror because he couldn’t endure that distorted reflection, was it truly the mirror he hated, or was it himself reflected in the mirror?
“No! That’s not it! I… I killed him so I wouldn’t be held back by him anymore. To climb higher!”
The man shouted and tried to claw at the back of his hand with his fingernails again—.
“Sorry, but I’ve had enough of the gore show.”
I moved for the sake of my eye health.
-Thwack!
“Ugh!!”
I flipped him onto the floor and subdued him by pressing the crook of his neck down with my cane.
“You committed murder so you wouldn’t be held back?”
I glared coldly at the man wriggling like a pinned insect.
“Look at yourself now, Edward Burr. Look at your state. How hideous and pathetic you are.”
He was crawling on the floor like a worm.
His handsome face was hideously distorted, and his filthy true self was exposed to everyone. He was no longer a promising talent of the military academy, but merely a common criminal.
Most serious of all, however, were his stained hands.
“No matter how much time passes, your hands will never be as clean as they were before.”
Even if time passed and the wounds healed, hideous scars would remain. He had defiled his hands with murder, and now blood and pus flowed from them.
“The moment you fell wasn’t right now when you were caught as the culprit. You fell irreversibly the moment you planned the murder, brewed the poison, and finally killed a person.”
That was a fall he chose himself.
“You killed a person because you were held back, because he hindered you from climbing up? If that were the case, you wouldn’t have chosen the path that leads to falling to the bottom along with him.”
The man let out a shriek and convulsed.
I murmured as I put a bit more strength into the cane.
“You were just jealous of a future you couldn’t achieve, and you couldn’t stand yourself. To the point where you couldn’t leave the mirror in front of you alone, even if it meant your own destruction.”
“Aaaah!!”
The man struggled. It was likely because he didn’t want to admit anything until the very end.
I didn’t want to deal with him anymore.
“Please arrest him now.”
“I was planning to, even without you telling me.”
As the detective raised his hand, the officers he brought with him seized the culprit.
“I owe you one this time… Detective Hayes.”
The detective said to me with a hollow face.
Strangely, he didn’t look happy at all even though the culprit had been arrested.
“Come find me once things are settled. I have something to tell you.”
“I understand.”
I don’t know what he intends to say, but I nodded lightly.
I watched the officers drag the culprit away. Until the very last moment, the culprit struggled, muttering things like, “N-no. I…”
Lure, who was watching the scene with me, said,
“Perhaps the culprit himself didn’t properly understand his own heart.”
“Well, maybe so.”
He had lived his life wearing a mask and hiding his true feelings. He wanted to perfectly sculpt his personality and show everyone a plausible image.
In the end, perhaps he succeeded in showing even himself the most plausible version of himself.
If that were the case…
“There might be no one who knows themselves as little as the culprit of this case.”
***
***
-Afterstory 1-
***
The detective and the officers disappeared with the culprit. Now only I, Lure, and the witnesses remained at the scene.
—Flop!
“Professor Squong!”
As if he had been barely holding on until now, the Proctor sat down heavily on the floor.
“Right, the Ed I knew until now was all a lie… Just to use me as he pleased…”
Had reality finally set in?
He sobbed while laughing like a madman.
“Isn’t it funny? Even at this age, I didn’t realize what a predictable and easy-to-use old man I was. Thinking I was doing things for the students while being kept at a distance by them, a childish old geezer who came up with ridiculous plans because I hated that. Even the only student I thought didn’t hate me was just looking through my intentions and trying to use me.”
“Don’t say that. The one who did wrong is the culprit who used someone else’s heart as he pleased, not you.”
I tried to comfort him, but it was of little use.
Then again, it was unlikely that anyone’s words would enter his ears in this situation.
‘Since he was betrayed by the person he trusted most, his self-reproach must be as deep as the shock of the betrayal.’
Just as I was wondering if I should force him to stand up.
“P-Professor…”
Jefferd, who had been keeping quiet, opened his mouth to speak.
“Professor is… Professor is a dummy!”
It was such aggressive language that it was hard to believe it came from Jefferd.
“Why are you being swayed by that guy’s words again when you’re reproaching yourself so much for being swayed by Ed?”
“…What? I’m still being swayed by him?”
“You’re still believing Ed’s words! Not a single thing he said is the truth!”
Jefferd panted with his cheeks flushed red.
“He doesn’t know anything. Not about Allen, not about Professor Squong, and not about me!”
“…What exactly are you trying to say?”
“A story that Edward doesn’t know.”
Jefferd slowly unfolded his story.
“As you know, I’m the youngest son.”
Jefferd was the youngest of the Syle family.
He had no fewer than four older sisters, and there was a 15-year age gap with the eldest.
His father wanted a male heir to lead the Syle family, and after persistent attempts, Jefferd Syle was finally born.
However, Jefferd was not the heir his father wanted. Jefferd was sensitive and enjoyed reading books alone in a small room, and his nature was timid, so he wasn’t good at mingling with others.
[You’re so weak because you grew up among sisters! Go to the military academy and come back as a man!]
Jefferd was pushed into entering the Imperial Military Academy, but his innate personality wouldn’t have changed overnight just because his affiliation had changed.
“Every day at the military academy was a struggle. Every night, I would lock myself in the bathroom and cry secretly.”
Jefferd let out a faint smile.
“And… you know. I said the bathroom in my dormitory room isn’t that soundproof.”
The noise was transmitted directly through the bathroom vent.
A few months later, Allen couldn’t take it anymore and pounded on Jefferd’s door as if he were going to break it.
“I had never spoken to Allen once until then, but when I opened the door and went out, he suddenly got angry. He told me not to live like that.”
“Uh…, Allen was a bit harsh with his words. Still, since he suffered for a long time because of the noise, I think I can understand him a bit…?”
Lure, who was listening quietly, said in embarrassment.
However, Jefferd showed a faint smile.
“At first, I was flustered and scared, but the more I listened to what Allen was saying, the more I realized. That Allen was worried about me.”
“…?”
“Professor Squong probably saw us back then and thought I had a fight with Allen. But it wasn’t a fight. It wasn’t like I was being scolded either. No, actually, it might be true that I was being scolded, but… I felt like I was being comforted by Allen.”
That day, Allen said: Don’t live like that.
If you’re going to stay cooped up in your room and cry alone, you’d rather go out and throw a punch.
He told him that if he looked scared and sad, those bastards would only look down on him, so he should get angry instead.
“He said that even in the orphanage, the one who was always targeted was the person who looked the easiest. So, he said if I hated fighting, I should act like someone who enjoys fighting more than anyone else. Somehow, I felt like that was Allen’s own story.”
Until that day, Jefferd had vaguely looked up to Allen. His appearance of climbing upwards without showing any sign of being discouraged, even when someone picked a fight with him, was simply an object of admiration.
“But when I actually spoke with him, Allen was actually a person who wasn’t that different from me.”
Just an ordinary person who felt pain when hit and was afraid of fighting.
Not a foul-tempered mad dog, nor an ambitious man who climbed endlessly without caring about any threats, but just a young man whose way of speaking was a bit rough and whose personality was a bit hot-headed, but who was inherently kind enough to worry about the crybaby in the next room.
“That was the Allen I saw.”
The Allen Jefferd described felt much more human than the Allen the culprit had described.
‘The culprit guy was truly chasing nothing but futile illusions from beginning to end.’
“I liked Allen, who got angry at me because he was worried about me, more than Ed, who always just spouted nice words to me. I wanted to be friends with him. Although I ultimately couldn’t do so because I lacked courage…”
“Jefferd…”
“So, before I regret it any further, I’m just going to be honest even if it’s embarrassing. Professor Squong. I don’t hate you like you think I do.”
“Wh-what?!”
“I said I don’t hate you. After all, Professor Squong is someone who gets angry at me because you’re worried about me, just like Allen.”
“…You don’t need to say such things to comfort me.”
“No, I’m serious.”
I decided to act like a detective at this point.
“What Mr. Jefferd says is the truth. As proof, look. Notice that Jefferd hasn’t hesitated or stuttered even once while speaking to you?”
This wasn’t just true for this moment.
According to what I’ve observed so far, Jefferd hardly ever stuttered when he spoke with the Proctor. He, who always seemed timid, even initiated playful remarks toward the Proctor.
“It… it really is true…”
Whether he hadn’t realized it himself, Jefferd seemed a bit surprised, but soon showed a wide grin.
“See? I told you. Ed, that guy didn’t know anything about us.”
Edward Burr didn’t know that Allen wasn’t as inhuman as the illusion he had vaguely painted.
He didn’t know that Jefferd actually had good observation skills and was more fond of the honest Allen than the fake Ed.
He didn’t know that there were students who truly liked the Proctor, who was always grumbling but had a warm heart.
“Then, does that mean you like me?”
At the Proctor’s question, asked as if he couldn’t believe it, Jefferd nodded his head while looking extremely bashful.
“Even while calling me ‘Squong’?”
“Would you believe me if I said it was a kind of, um…, term of endearment?”
Jefferd showed a smile while telling a blatant lie, but in truth, that smile was a true sign of affection.
“…”
Professor Squong blinked a few times while looking at Jefferd’s smile, and then he slowly stood up.
He stood tall and spoke to me.
“I thank you, Mr. Detective.”
“All of a sudden?”
“I just suddenly had that thought. That thanks to you, I learned the truth and finally seem to have opened my eyes. What was covering my eyes has vanished. I think I can finally see the truth and the lies.”
“Ah! Come to think of it, I forgot to give my greetings.”
Jefferd, the student who likely corresponded to Professor Squong’s ‘truth,’ hurriedly approached me and bowed.
“Thank you so much… If it weren’t for you, I would have been taken away by the police. And of course, the culprit who killed Allen couldn’t have been arrested either.”
An atmosphere of gratitude toward me had suddenly formed. Lure, who was watching the situation, poked me in the side with a mischievous grin.
“What are you doing? You should say something! Stylishly!”
“Hmm…”
I just adjusted my hat and showed a smile.
“I’m glad I could be of help. If you run into any trouble again, please visit the Hayes Detective Agency.”
When I finished the short greeting and left the scene, Lure, who followed me, asked as if she found it strange.
“What was that? Why did you wrap it up so short? It was a chance to show off to your heart’s content and promote the agency.”
“No, just… I felt a strange sense of emotion.”
Unlike the culprit’s thoughts, the world was not a long and precarious ladder where only climbing and falling existed.
Just like Jefferd and the Proctor, there also existed a path where people supported and sustained each other.
‘Perhaps Edward also had a chance to learn such a thing.’
For he too had someone who truly worried about him and tried to protect him.
However, the culprit had kicked away that opportunity himself and left to chase after an illusion.
In fact, the thing he had been yearning for his entire life might have already been held within his hands.
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