At this moment, the only thing I could feel was my increasingly blurred vision.
Gu Fan’s figure became hazy and indistinct, the image of him in a fiery red wedding robe from my daydreams blending with the reality of him wearing a stylish down jacket.
They intertwined so much that I could hardly tell which one was truly the childhood friend I loved.
I wondered if, from the outside, my eyes looked ridiculously like spiraling mosquito coils, twisting and turning like crazy?
I felt like I was about to faint meow…….
A young catgirl with such poor mental resilience—perhaps I’m the only one like this.
Such trivial feelings could easily bring me down. Truly, I’m a hopeless waste.
The only redeeming qualities I could claim were my sharp senses and a figure that far outpaced my peers.
But having such acute sensitivity wasn’t necessarily a good thing; it actually made me even more fragile in some ways.
Whenever Gu Fan patted my head or held my hand, my overactive nerves dutifully shoved all those sensations into my little brain at once, causing my cheeks to flush warmly and my actions to freeze up.
This couldn’t go on.
If I didn’t work on improving my tolerance, then when Gu Fan and I finally got married, after finishing the wedding ceremony and reaching the last step of the wedding bed ritual, wouldn’t I end up being bullied by Gu Fan until I was meowing uncontrollably?
After all, Gu Fan had been sticking to his training, so his physical condition couldn’t be bad.
Plus, that one morning at Gu Fan’s house, I had taken advantage of a boy’s natural physiological reaction and lifted the blanket covering him to see exactly how big he was… hehe.
“Slurp,” “gulp gulp.”
I couldn’t tell if I was drinking matcha or just swallowing my saliva.
A catgirl like me wasn’t exactly proper—my mind was full of schemes about finding an excuse to push Gu Fan down and use the “having a baby” reason to naturally force him into marrying me.
Gu Fan would definitely take responsibility and care for me and the baby well, but deep down, he wouldn’t accept me deceiving him with such a despicable tactic.
So, it was better to honestly and slowly develop our relationship from childhood friends into lovers.
Being impatient is like eating hot tofu—you get your mouth burned several times.
It’s best to let Gu Fan cool off first before making my move.
“Zhinian… Zhinian?”
“Umm!?”
Suddenly hearing my name called so close caught me off guard, and I involuntarily shuddered.
The cake fork had long been taken away by Gu Fan and placed back on the plate, but he was still holding the cup of matcha in front of me.
I had been so caught up in my random fantasies that I didn’t even notice that the once full cup of matcha was now only half full.
I had drunk the cooler top portion, and what remained at the bottom was still quite warm.
Maybe Gu Fan saw me so earnestly enjoying the matcha that he didn’t move the cup away.
It was like feeding a patient collapsed on the bed—carefully keeping it steady until I reached the hotter part, then choosing to remind me.
So, the burning sensation in my mouth wasn’t just something I imagined; I was really scalded by the hot matcha.
“Uh, sorry, I was too absorbed in my thoughts just now. Gu Fan, you go ahead and drink first. When my portion arrives, you can have it all!”
I reacted a bit late but quickly came up with a coherent reply.
Luckily, Gu Fan didn’t refuse. He gladly accepted my offer and silently moved the battered flat straw I had bitten to his lips.
Then, to my belated surprise, Gu Fan calmly drank again as if no one had ever touched it, showing no reaction at all.
Gulp…
Gu Fan’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.
For some reason, my mouth also started producing saliva, forcing me to swallow more frequently.
Hold it in, hold it in—I couldn’t keep daydreaming in front of Gu Fan.
If my infatuated nature showed, he would definitely shoot me a look full of disdain.
I barged into the command center, repeatedly issuing warnings on the loudspeaker to keep the staff responsible for this section working diligently without slacking off.
After some effort, I took a deep breath, crossed my arms over my chest, and lifted the cotton ball that had drooped due to my large movements.
It added a bit of feminine momentum and pressure to my presence.
Unlike me, Gu Fan didn’t drink half a cup of matcha in one gulp.
He sipped a few times to moisten his throat and then placed the cup back on the table.
Then, Gu Fan slightly turned his head, rested his palm against his chin, and looked at me with an ambiguous gaze.
“How do you feel? Better inside?”
“Ah… a little better.”
Though I’d acted a bit foolishly, I wasn’t completely clueless about social matters.
Earlier, Gu Fan had specially ordered a plate of strawberry cake from the front desk, hoping the sweet treat would cheer me up a little and stop me from overthinking or fearing things that hadn’t even happened.
Just seeing things from his perspective made me dislike this catgirl who constantly released negative energy for no reason.
Throwing tantrums at the slightest thing and blaming all imagined malice on the innocent childhood friend—Gu Fan must really be a superhuman for tolerating me this far.
If I met a lunatic like myself, I’d want to run as far away as possible.
“Zhinian, you’re just not used to close contact and communication with others. Don’t blame yourself so much.”
Gu Fan’s voice was unusually gentle, like he was comforting a mental baby like me.
His kindness warmed me but inexplicably stirred a faint anger—a refusal to be underestimated like this.
“Hmm, I don’t think it’s a matter of habit. I think my personality itself is the problem.”
No matter how much I hated to admit it, the glaring truth was right in front of me.
I barely had any genuine friends.
The people I usually talked to didn’t exceed three.
And that count included restaurant waiters, the senior shop manager from my part-time job, and teachers and classmates from school.
In other words, without Gu Fan’s frequent company and chats, by the time I finished school these past few years, I might have even started learning sign language.
After all, the only time I really used this mouth was for eating and drinking.
My gloomy thoughts stuck to every part of my body like the damp, sticky grime and water stains clinging to the walls, furniture, and ceiling of a house with all the windows wide open during the rainy season.
Unconsciously, I tightened my arms wrapped around my abdomen.
The pressure made my breathing grow a little hurried.
Just as I was continuing my usual self-inflicted mental torture, a ray of sunlight suddenly broke through my dark, obscure field of vision.
“Zhinian, you’re not allowed to keep going like this.”