Chapter 2: Become Who You Want to Be, Starting Today!

Gao Jingdong jolted awake in bed, gasping for air, his forehead covered in cold sweat.

His chest felt tight and suffocating.

He rubbed his eyes and looked around—thankfully, he wasn't in a snowy field.

It was still that familiar yet cramped ten-square-meter rental room. The air was a mix of mildew and lingering greasy smells.

On the computer desk sat three empty instant noodle bowls, yet to be cleared away. A pair of chopsticks lay askew on the edge, the red chili oil having solidified into a solid mass.

'They probably can't be used anymore. I really should wash those chopsticks today,' he thought.

Gao Jingdong let out a long sigh, his voice filled with exhaustion and self-mockery.

'If only the apartment were a bit nicer. Like the one Lin Xi lives in, with a dishwasher and marble floors without such wide gaps. Even cleaning would feel more motivated in a place like that.'

His mind wandered with idle thoughts as he reached for the old phone on his bedside table. Its tempered glass screen protector was cracked at one corner. The light from the screen made him squint as it lit up.

He habitually opened WeChat and started scrolling through his friends' updates.

Posts slid by one after another. High school classmates were showing off beach trips, some were studying abroad, others were interning, groups of friends were meeting up for meals... Everyone seemed to be living a glamorous life.

Only he was still stuck in this tiny room, keeping company with three bowls of spoiled instant noodles.

His finger, as if possessed, tapped into Lin Xi's Weibo feed.

Her latest post popped up—she had gone to that high-end Japanese restaurant again. They had only gone there once, on their first anniversary. But lately, she seemed to be going frequently.

Only a glimpse of the man's wrist opposite her was visible, but the Patek Philippe watch on it was glaringly obvious.

Gao Jingdong's throat felt blocked, and a dull pain throbbed in his chest.

'Damn it! Lin Xi, that gold-digging b*tch!'

When they first got together, she had said, "I don't care about a man's money at all, as long as he's a good person." How could she dump him for a reason like "not being ambitious enough"?

'Ha, is this guy her rebound? Did she move on without a gap?'

She had broken up with him last year, but they had kept in touch since then. He had been trying to win her back the whole time, his attitude sincere and genuine. Had she not seen any of that?

What about the tenderness from before?

The words of love?

Were they all lies?

But cursing aside, Gao Jingdong, as if still possessed, switched back to WeChat. The pinned chat at the top was still Lin Xi's profile picture. The cat-like eyes looking up in the selfie now seemed full of mockery. Next to the last message he had sent, a red exclamation mark glared brightly: "Message failed to send. You are not a friend of the recipient."

'Is this really how it ends...'

He stared blankly at the screen, his fingertips trembling slightly.

After hesitating for a moment, he sighed again and exited her chat window.

Below hers was a message from his mom. He tapped it open. Inside were three long voice messages, each a minute long.

He felt a sense of suffocation, swallowed, and pressed play.

"Dongdong, sweetie, Mom knows you're hurting. It's okay, let's not try to win Lin Xi back anymore, alright? Listen to Mom, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Our good son will definitely find someone better than her. We're not after money either, don't go for those rich people. A woman like her, she's definitely..."

Her speech was too slow. The next voice message played automatically.

"...spoiled rotten. Marrying a woman like that home wouldn't lead to a peaceful life of raising children and supporting her husband anyway. Find a nice, obedient, cute girl. Living a good, stable life is what's most important. Our family's life is self-sufficient enough for sure. If your living expenses aren't enough, ask Mom for money. Why suffer because of one woman?"

Listening, Gao Jingdong's lips twisted into a bitter smile.

'Mom, your thinking is so old-fashioned. In modern society, women don't just think about raising children and supporting husbands anymore. They can have their own careers, their own tempers too. Lin Xi's temper was indeed fiery, but when it came to studying and working, she really went at it like her life depended on it. Gao Jingdong couldn't help but admire that. If he were a woman, he probably wouldn't push himself as hard as Lin Xi did, let alone be that beautiful on top of it.'

The third voice message. His mom's tone suddenly became a bit lighter.

"Oh, right! I found an article to share with you. I really think it's quite good! It's called 'Have the Courage to Become Who You Want to Be.' You should read it. It's different from those cheesy motivational articles out there. It sounds really sincere!"

Her tone was excited. Gao Jingdong rubbed his temples and still tapped the link she sent.

'Sigh, if I were a woman, I probably wouldn't want to become like Mom either. Kind is kind, but too easily fooled. If I were a woman, I'd definitely be the kind who—'

The page loaded. The design was bizarre, like some underground cult organization. It wasn't an article at all.

Black background with red text. The background was flickering with eerie light and shadow. There were only a few large, blood-red characters: Become Who You Want to Be, Starting Today!

"What the hell is this? Did Mom send the wrong link..." He meant to close it directly, but the close 'X' was just too small. His finger slipped and hit the four characters "Starting Today."

He felt the world spin.

'What kind would that be?'

'Right, right, that kind. The kind with a heavy, soft chest, not the kind you can hold in one hand like Lin Xi's. Hair like it is now, loose over the shoulders, very long, long, not permed or dyed, smooth like flowing water. The color would definitely be this natural light brown I have now. Fingers, slender too, best if they could play the piano... Right, right, right, just like the ones holding the phone now—'

"Holy shit!! What the hell?!"

What should have been a deep, masculine voice came out of his throat as a clear, trembling, unfamiliar female voice.

The mirror wasn't far from the bed.

He stumbled up, bare feet hitting the cold floor, not caring about the dust sticking to his soles.

Reflected in the mirror was a completely unfamiliar young woman.

Her features were exquisitely crafted, like fine sculpture. A pair of almond-shaped eyes held traces of shock, the eyelashes also light brown, long and sweeping over the eyelids. Brown hair fell smoothly over her shoulders. Her skin was delicate and fair. Her figure was slender, but where there should be curves, there was a heavy, full softness, creating a shapely silhouette.

The woman was wearing his original oversized T-shirt. It hung loosely on her shoulders, the collar slipping down to reveal delicate collarbones. Below the collarbones, the fabric was pushed up by the fullness of her chest.

Gao Jingdong—or rather, she now—stood frozen in place, breathing rapidly, heart pounding wildly.

Her fingers trembled as she touched her own face, then her chest, then looked down at the slender, pale hands in the mirror.

"What the f*ck is going on?"

The words meant to be angry came out in a soft, loli-like voice.