The first computer I ever bought was with money from my part-time job.
Back in high school, I only used school computers, so buying my own was a big deal, fraught with challenges.
Despite the difficulties, it stayed with me, never breaking down.
Honor, memories, past struggles, trials.
While I grew through all of that, the computer, which shared those moments, finally gave out.
Time to let it go.
Buying that computer back then cost a lot.
I poured every cent of my first paycheck into it.
Because of that, I invested more in the monitor than the tower.
Fixing it might be more trouble than buying a new one.
Letting go of old things is hard.
This computer had been through hardships and memories with me, so throwing it out felt like discarding my past.
It’s about starting fresh.
From the moment I took in the kids, I felt, consciously or not, that I needed to start anew.
The habitual sighs, the cigarettes I smoked, the drinks I downed—all the things I used to do had to end.
I needed to become a new version of myself.
Goodbye.
I looked at the computer as its data was being transferred.
I wouldn’t throw it out, but seeing the transfer made it feel like its life was fading.
“It’ll probably take about two hours.”
Two hours, huh…
“We need to install Windows too. There’s a café on the second floor where you can relax. How about waiting there?”
Sounds good. Oh, can I buy laptops too?
“Of course.”
Since I was here, I figured I’d get laptops for Hye-yeon and Yuri too.
Especially for Yuri, who seemed interested in tech.
Come to think of it, their old house didn’t have a computer…
The house the kids lived in back in Korea was tiny.
These days, students need computers, so it was odd they didn’t have one.
Hope they like it…
I ended up buying three laptops, including one for myself.
I’ll be at the café. Call me when it’s done.
“Yes, sir.”
I headed to the café.
***
At the café, I ordered an Americano and sat quietly in a corner.
“Hoo…”
The hot coffee eased the fatigue from driving.
But two hours with nothing to do felt long.
Might as well buy some snacks for the kids. Is there a place nearby?
Since I was in town, I thought about grabbing something for them and pulled out my phone.
When I opened it to check a map, I saw a flood of SNS notifications.
So many comments.
With a bored expression, I deleted the notifications.
Good or bad, they didn’t change what I had to do, so I didn’t bother checking.
As I cleared them, I suddenly remembered Nicole’s ID.
Hmm…
Nicole was already following me.
With so many followers, I hadn’t noticed, but she’d followed me long before.
Should I message her?
With the kids around, I’d hesitated to text her.
Embarrassment, maybe?
Plus, I wasn’t really interested in dating, so I didn’t see the point.
I’m bored, though.
But ignoring her kept nagging at me.
No matter how much I tried to brush it off, I couldn’t.
Alright, let’s just chat.
Being alone now seemed like the perfect time.
Calming my slightly racing heart, I tapped the keyboard.
[@AdeleLouis4747: Hello.]
I debated adding more flair but couldn’t think of anything, so I sent a dry message.
She read it right away?
The “read” mark popped up instantly, as if she’d been on her phone.
[@Nicole1512: Hello! Author!]
A reply came within seconds.
Since I sent the DM, less than ten seconds had passed, and I was flustered.
Uh…
Feeling a bit dazed, I tapped out another message.
[@AdeleLouis4747: Got a moment?]
[@Nicole1512: Of course!]
[@Nicole1512: I’d make time even if I didn’t have any!]
Her replies came so fast I was thrown off.
Was she waiting for me?
Her messages carried an inexplicable urgency.
What should I ask?
After a moment’s thought, I typed slowly.
[@AdeleLouis4747: What are you up to?]
[@Nicole1512: Just relaxing!]
[@AdeleLouis4747: At home?]
[@Nicole1512: Yep, I’m home! What about you, Author?]
[@AdeleLouis4747: My computer broke, so I’m here to get a new one.]
[@Nicole1512: If it’s not rude to ask, why are you buying a new computer?]
[@Nicole1512: Oh! You don’t have to answer if it’s uncomfortable!]
I chuckled, looking at my phone.
Her personality’s the same online as offline.
She was just like she was on the plane.
Like a fan excited to talk to her favorite author, it made me curious about her usual personality.
Why I’m buying a computer…
As a fan, she’d naturally hope her favorite author was working on a new project.
But since I’d gone into hiding in the countryside due to my slump, she was probably being cautious.
It’s fine to just say it.
My slump didn’t hurt my feelings.
If anything, Mijeong and Loony’s cautiousness annoyed me more.
The slump was tough, but people urging me to write wasn’t the issue.
[@AdeleLouis4747: Getting ready to write.]
[@AdeleLouis4747: It’s a secret.]
[@Nicole1512: Ohh! Okay, my lips are sealed!]
[@Nicole1512: (Dog with mouth zipped emoji)]
The emoji made me laugh without meaning to.
Chatting with her was somehow fun.
[@AdeleLouis4747: I saw you posted about reading my signed book on SNS.]
[@AdeleLouis4747: You seem to post about Rat Hole a lot.]
[@AdeleLouis4747: Do you like Rat Hole?]
I’d thought her taste was unique, but maybe Rat Hole was the only book she had on the plane.
Still, her SNS was full of posts about reading Rat Hole.
[@Nicole1512: (Dog caught in the act emoji)]
[@Nicole1512: Yes! You’re right!]
[@Nicole1512: It’s my favorite book! I love the protagonist’s emotional changes!]
Rat Hole told the story of people in an underworld.
I put a lot of effort into capturing the protagonist’s evolving emotions as they tried to escape.
It’s nice that she noticed the effort.
I poured a lot into the emotional shifts, but many readers missed it.
The grotesque world overshadowed the protagonist’s journey, and it was my least popular work due to its polarizing nature.
[@Nicole1512: I’m so excited for Rat Hole to be adapted!]
[@Nicole1512: When I saw Kihyung Kang say he wanted to direct it on SNS, I was so moved!]
[@Nicole1512: But I was sad when you turned him down.]
[@Nicole1512: (Crying puppy emoji)]
Kang Ki-hyung, one of Korea’s top directors, formally requested to adapt Rat Hole, but I had to decline.
[@AdeleLouis4747: Though it’s one book, the narrative could be richer depending on how it’s unfolded. I’d rather see it as a drama than a movie.]
I wrote it with adaptation in mind.
With room to expand the story, I wanted it to be a drama, not a film.
[@Nicole1512: A drama? Love it!]
[@Nicole1512: (Dog clapping with sparkling eyes emoji)]
[@Nicole1512: (Dog calming a racing heart emoji)]
She really loves it.
I’d seen plenty of fans express their love at signings or premieres.
But for some reason, talking to Nicole made me chuckle.
-Ding!
While I was deep in conversation with her, my phone rang.
It was a message from the computer store.
Guess it’s about time.
I’d lost track of time chatting.
Checking the clock, over two and a half hours had passed.
[@AdeleLouis4747: I should get going soon.]
[@Nicole1512: Already?]
[@AdeleLouis4747: Yeah, time to head home.]
[@Nicole1512: Aww…]
[@Nicole1512: (Dog crying tears emoji)]
“Aww, huh…”
I gave a bittersweet smile.
Honestly, I felt reluctant to end the chat too.
I hadn’t expected to enjoy a conversation this much, even over text.
Gotta get home, though.
It was getting late.
I told the kids I’d be back by afternoon, but leaving now meant I’d arrive around evening.
Marcello would probably feed them, but I needed to head out.
[@AdeleLouis4747: Let’s talk more tomorrow.]
With the kids around, I hesitated a bit.
But chatting with Nicole was fun, and I wanted to continue.
Is something up?
Nicole read my DM but didn’t reply.
Even after some time, there was no response.
Just as I started to worry,
[@Nicole1512: Um… can I ask a bold favor?]
Finally, she sent a message.
I tilted my head at the content.
[@AdeleLouis4747: What is it?]
[@Nicole1512: Would you… consider meeting me?]
“…”
Her sudden request left me dumbfounded.