My fingers drifted among the various animal-themed charms and plush toys displayed on the showcase.
Each exquisite merchandise item bore a price tag, and most were marked up excessively.
After all, Valentine’s Day was approaching, and with the pet-themed gimmick, prices had skyrocketed in an instant.
However… more than the price itself, what I cared about was whether I could make the little catgirl trailing closely behind me happy.
Zhǐnián’s longing gaze clung to my fingers through the air, not once drifting over to the souvenirs I held in my hands.
It was clear she didn’t really care what kind of gift I might buy her. All she wanted was for me to convey my feelings.
Maybe she would clutch the gift, stomp her little feet, and babble a string of grateful words at me.
Hmph, Zhǐnián was surprisingly easy to fool, like those public service announcements from childhood TV shows—where a bad uncle in an amusement park bends down to offer a lost little girl a lollipop and easily leads her away.
In reality, there was no kind uniformed uncle constantly guarding her side. I truly worried that such an innocent Zhǐnián might get bullied by some bad boy in the future.
With leisurely steps, I wandered back and forth in a less crowded area, my eyes scanning the dazzling array of charms.
But my mind was filled with countless miniature snapshots.
The protagonist of nearly every scene was that catgirl with long jet-black hair and crimson eyes.
Sometimes she would nestle beside me, her cotton-puff hands gripping my arm tightly, lips murmuring the day’s funny incidents and gossip.
Other times, her younger self would stand before me with tears in her eyes—unwilling yet hopeful—a memory deeply etched in my mind, refusing to fade even now.
Suddenly, my lungs burned hot, a flush of faint red irritation spreading through my body, making me furrow my brows involuntarily.
Enough!
The two words flashed through my mind, and every image of the cat-eared girl shattered into fragments.
I took a deep breath and glanced at the childhood friend standing right beside me.
Her cat tail stood high, the tip gently flicking at my shoulder as if urging me to hurry up and make a choice.
As for her, she was staring at my profile with hazy eyes, lost in some imagined scenario playing out in her head.
Seeing me look at her, Zhǐnián blinked in a daze before lowering her gaze, as if scanning the floor, and asked,
“Have you decided, Gu Fan? What are you going to give me? Hmm, no, no—it’s that I’m asking you to pick out some pretty little trinkets for me. I’ll pay, so don’t worry about the price. I trust your taste.”
Her voice grew softer and softer as she spoke, a gentle, almost apologetic tone.
Her cat ears visibly drooped down, flattening atop her head, transforming the cold-faced catgirl with perky ears into a round-headed, pitiful little kitten.
I never knew where Zhǐnián picked up this bad habit of instantly apologizing whenever she thought she’d offended someone, but honestly, it was pretty adorable and made me want to pinch her little face and tease her mercilessly.
“…Wait a moment.”
I had been daydreaming and hadn’t even thought about which charm would look best on her.
I definitely couldn’t choose anything from the “Valentine’s Day Special” section—that would make Zhǐnián overthink things… More importantly, I wasn’t ready to bear the responsibilities that came with the identity of a boyfriend.
I was painfully aware of who I really was: selfish and self-centered, someone who distanced himself from others out of sheer laziness and avoided deep connections.
If I could answer Zhǐnián’s earlier question—“Will you abandon me if I stop being cute someday?”—I would probably confess the very first thought that came to mind: “I’d leave her. I’m totally shallow. Even if I volunteered to neuter stray cats on the street, I’d pick those with the best temperaments, or pretty fur, or good looks first.”
Though even saints have dark thoughts sometimes, I still couldn’t accept that I wasn’t as perfect as I appeared to Zhǐnián and others.
If a hypocrite plays the gentleman all his life, can he truly be called a great and righteous man? I had pondered this question before.
I didn’t know when my patience would finally run out.
Like winter snow ushering in spring, no matter how hard it tried to cling to the cold, it would eventually melt into a puddle and return to the clouds, revealing the ugly earth beneath.
Zhǐnián was that little black cat who trod into the snow, happily stamping out her adorable plum blossom-shaped paw prints and rolling around to feel the snow’s unique softness.
What I worried about was that my devilish true nature would scare this innocent little catgirl.
Whether she ran away or not didn’t matter, but the further she stayed from someone like me, the better it would be for her future.
During the time when my mother’s temperament changed drastically, I indulged in the suppressed desires of over a decade—skipping classes, leaving early, playing truant… I did everything a bad student should.
The turning point came during the physical examination before graduating junior high, when my blood test showed abnormal results.
It didn’t have a huge impact on exams or school; the doctor only told me to pay attention to rest and diet.
But my mother took it very seriously and took time to bring me to the hospital for a full checkup.
In the end, they really found an incurable terminal illness.
I barely remember what I felt at the time, only that my mother’s back slumped beside me, muttering incessantly, “Is this retribution?”
After falling ill, my formerly irritable temperament withered like a limp eggplant and softened significantly.
Though now that terminal illness has miraculously “healed” without a trace, I still carry some psychological scars—afraid it will return someday.
That “it” referred not only to the untreatable disease but also to my tendency to lash out physically or verbally.
Because of this, I believed I couldn’t shoulder the responsibility of “taking care of Zhǐnián.”
If I used her affection for me to trick her into being my girlfriend, I would definitely lose control and repeatedly cross boundaries with forbidden acts.
Maybe I was just such an uncontrollable man, or maybe Zhǐnián’s allure was too great.
At my young age, I could only restrain myself by clinging to the fact that we were just childhood friends.
I built an internal filter in my mind and smoothly sifted through the merchandise, picking items that wouldn’t cause misunderstandings but were just right for Zhǐnián.
“Zhǐnián, lower your head.”
“Hm?”
The little catgirl with her long black hair tilted her head in confusion but obediently lowered it as I instructed.
I reached out, threading my hands around her ears to gather the loose ends of her hair—untied by any bands or ribbons—and then clipped them with the black cat hairpin I had chosen, gently styling her hair into a side ponytail.
Premium Chapter
Login to buy access to this Chapter.